Change of the Soul

Change of the Soul

By: Record

Today’s the day I change. Everyday I work towards something better, yet something always gets in my way. Today though, I am going to find something that will be better because I will make it better. I have too. OK! Here we go.

I open my eyes, and there it is, the same four dark gray walls with that stupid crack in it. Wait…..is that crack bigger today? Nah, it must be my imagination. Oh well. At least my door has style, a nice silver outline with a white face and a gold knob. To bad I can’t have a really nice place. That comes with time, speaking of which time to put on my clothes that still feel the same. Work clothes are work clothes though. This itchy baby blue shirt, with these nasty brown khakis, and those stupid loafers that have no support. I should just close my eyes for the socks, I couldn’t believe that my ex got those. Who does that to someone? I am so glad that I got her out of my life. All she seemed to do was obsess about things. Deep breath! You can do this, just because it all seems the same day in, and day out doesn’t mean that it can’t be different today. It all falls on me!

Yet here I am, at work again. Typing on this stupid machine, AGAIN! Ok, ok, no big deal, remember today is going to be different. Let me see if I can find something that I can improve in the program.

2 hours later

Crap, nothing and now I have to catch up on my work. Great it’s going to be another late day. All because I am just trying to make a showing. Maybe if they wouldn’t make it so hard to get ahead and get moved up I wouldn’t have to try and find things to look good. Oh great, now miss perky. Angela. Long blonde hair, to damn skinny, she knows she’s thin but still keeps running to the bathroom just as soon as she eats something, but wants to act like everything is ok.

“HI EVERYONE!!!” her voice just screeches down the line of cubicles like a bird on crack. Yet everyone seems to respond to her in a group voice, “Hey Angela!”

It just had to happen, I knew it. We made eye contact. Yep, those black eyes are looking at me. Damn it. Here she comes. Just be nice.

“Eric! It is so good to see you today. Look, I was going to pull you to the side and tell you this but I am just going to get to the point, you are seriously….how to say this, AWESOME!!!” Angela’s hands came together in a clap as she leaned in towards me.

I am so confused right now, but I better go with it. “Thanks Angela. What makes you say that?”

“Ohhhh, I don’t know. Maybe because we are all waiting on you to finish your section of the code that was due forever ago.” As she straightened herself up nice and tall so that everyone could look at her.

Crap! I was supposed to get that done earlier. Ok, ok, I will just explain that I was reviewing the other code so that I could make my could more efficient. “Look Angela I wanted to have the best code possible, so I went back and started reviewing the other code to get my code to be the best that it could be and I fell behind. I will have it shortly.”

Wow, for someone so skinny she seems to be standing like a mountain over me right now. I should probably say something nice before, “That’s fine Eric. Make sure that you get it to me before you leave today.” Angela swung around, greeted a few more people and just disappeared down the hallway.

Anorexic witch. Always hounding me. Always putting pressure on me, yet I always do the most work. I should be the lead programmer here, but noooooo, its Chris who gets the praise. Even though he can’t code as well as half of us here, he gets praise. Why? Because somehow, he is so charismatic, and in perfect shape, yet just stupid. Aaarrgh. Ok, ok, just take a breath. I must fix this. Damn it, I can’t fix this without staying late. But I wanted to head to the store tonight. There is supposed to be a great game going on tonight. I know, I will work until its time to leave, send an email to Angela saying there was an emergency and head out. Then I can work on it at home after the game. Ok, let me get as much as I can before getting out of here.

Many hours later

Man does the fresh air feel good. I hate being in that office all day. Its ok though because I am out now. Time to get something to eat, and head to the store. What is there? Oh, there’s that burger place I love so much. Maybe I shouldn’t go in there though. My ex loves that place to, and she hangs out there so much. No, it will be ok. I will just ignore her if she is there, get my food and leave. This place is great, good music always playing, you can watch as they make your burgers, and the fries are great. I probably should lay off the fast food though because my pants are getting tighter. Tomorrow I can work on that, I am starving right now.

The lady behind the counter looks just miserable. I don’t blame her; I would be to working at a fast-food place. Oh well, just get your food and get out. Time to get that game on. “Double Bacon cheeseburger, with fries and soda. Make it a large please.”

“Anything else?” Glaring at me and looking miserable.

“Nah.”

Paying the bill is easy but man is it stupid expensive. As her hand reaches for my money, I notice a cut on her arm that doesn’t look right. Maybe I should ask her about it. Nah. Not my place, plus there are people in line, I don’t want to hold them up.

MMMMmmmmmm, I can smell it as she hands me my food. Ok, out the door….damn it. Ok, can this day get any worse? Out of all the things I need right now it’s not this. I will just walk out. Don’t say anything.

“Eric, I know you see me. Don’t put your head down and act like you don’t see me. I know that you are a coward and that might work for my sister, but not for me. You know that she’s been calling you. Pick up the phone when she does. All she wants is to talk to you. To hear one kind word. She is all kinds of upset. You hear me?” Robert’s voice is unlike Angela’s. His is a deep baritone that can vibrate windows. Being six-two and two hundred and fifty pounds of country boy seems to give him that ability. Or maybe he worked at it. I don’t know, all I know is that I just want to get going.

Looking up at this man who towers, “Hey Robert. Ok, ok. I will answer the next time that she calls if I can.”

Robert just looked at me, “Yeah, you do that.”

Sliding past Robert and getting out the door was easier than I thought, but damn it I did that wrong. I should have just told him the truth; I don’t want to talk to his sister. I will do that next time. What’s the worst that happens? He beats me up. Oh well, it will be better than dealing with him again. Ok, ok, take a breath. It is time to relax and have fun. Game time.

This store is my safe place. These are the closest people that I have to friends. So many gamers are here. There is the group in the left playing some card game. The other side has the comic nerds. To think I used to be there once. What a waste. I couldn’t believe that I threw away my comics. After I found out what they were worth, I just stopped trying to get into them. Now, now I am in the back. This role-playing game lets me escape from everything for a few hours and supposedly tonight our GM has a one-shot that is supposed to be insane.

4 hours later

The game is over, and it has been awesome. All except the first forty-five minutes where my ex just kept calling me. Best part of the day though. Man, that adventure was worth it. The GM did such a good job. I could probably do just as well if I wanted to. It’s not that hard. “Thanks for the game but I have to get going.”

Rosie stood up and stretched and looked at me, “Sounds good. I must get out of here also. I will walk out with you.”

Wow. Rosie is the one person that I never thought I would hear say that she would walk out with me. Five-six, one hundred and twenty pounds of sexy with long black hair, perfect everything, and a winning personality. Alright, it is turning out to be a great day. “Ok.” And there goes my phone again. Damn it.

Walking outside with this woman, I feel like a king. Rosie doesn’t usually go anywhere, with any of the group. The door opens and that cool air just makes my day even better. I better say something, this silence is a killer. “Did you enjoy the game tonight?”

Not answering Rosie gets to the first car and turns around. “Yes Eric, I had a good time but I just wanted to say thank you. You are the only guy in there that hasn’t hit on me. I don’t know if you are gay or if I am just not your type, but it is nice having one person who is not hitting on me. Thank you.”

Holy crap, how do I respond to this? “No problem. Those guys are all a bunch of horn dogs. And just to let you know, no, I am not gay.”

“NO YOUR NOT GAY. YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE THOUGH!!!!” That voice was on point for the annoyance of the year.

As I turn around, my voice escapes me as I see Joan holding a gun at us. Oh damn. What do I do? I don’t know how to fight or do any of that stuff they do in the movies. Crap, I am going to die. “Joan, what are you doing?”

“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!” Her arm is quivering while holding the gun. “Is this the reason that you aren’t returning my calls? Finding someone else? You know that you are mine. Now I bet you will listen.”

I can see it, she is going to squeeze the trigger. I can spin to the left and run. A moving target is harder to hit. As my feet move, I hear the shot. Then I hear a trucks engine come roaring down the street. Everything seems to be in slow motion. As my spin ends, I start to run and see Rosie go down. She must be going to the ground instead of running. I will run into the other parked cars and block her view of fire. Looking back I see Joan yell something but screw that, so I look back forward only to see bright lights and then…..

“So, Mr. Jones. What did you change about yourself today?” The lady sat there as I shot up from laying down. Talk about the psych doctor look. Thick glasses, worker skirt, business top, note pad in the lap and that condescending look.

“What the hell?”

“Yes sir, this is hell. And remember to get out of it, you must change and earn that right, so what did you change about yourself today?” Damn that monotone voice.

“I don’t know. Maybe if you could let me remember what is going to happen through the day since I am reliving the same day and can only remember when the day ends then I could change something.” My anger was on the rise. “WTF?”

She stood up. “If it was that easy, then everyone would be gone almost instantly, and you wouldn’t change. Well maybe something will click tomorrow. Have a great night.” Walking towards the white door and she reached out to the golden doorknob, “Sleep on it tonight, think on what you should have done and how you should change your fate or how you could change the fates of others around you and try again tomorrow.”

I just laid down and started thinking about the day again and then I fell asleep.

Today’s the day I change. Every day I work towards something better, yet something always gets in my way. Today though, I am going to find something that will be better because I will make it better. I have too. OK! Here we go.

The End?