Forever Infinite

The year 1972,

Aahil and Aamaal. They were two six-year-olds who played under a palm tree by the beach from dusk till dawn. And when the night would fall, they'd gaze at the stars. With wondering eyes and curious minds, they’d stare high at the sky and wonder what lay deep inside. The young boy had said to the girl sitting beside him, with flowing hair and ocean blue eyes, "Whenever you feel alone, just look at the stars. You are that star, the one that is shining ever so brightly in the night sky and I am that tiny distant star that is close to the moon. When you miss me, just look at my star and I'll look at yours." Amal smiled at the boy who possessed puppy-like eyes and said: "You are my Aahil, my prince." They held each other's hands and played under the palm trees by the beach from dusk till dawn. Waves of ecstasy and passion passed into each of their bodies but they were too young to recognize the emotions they felt inside. Years had gone by but their bond never broke. When Amal would walk home from school Aahil would accompany her until she reached the front door safely. As the years went by, they slowly stopped playing under the palm tree by the beach. Because the little girl, Amal, was so not young anymore and villagers spoke all sorts of things about the two young people of opposite genders spending their time alone. 

That's when it started, she weaved words for him, sitting by the candlelight at 3 a.m, as the world lay fast asleep. Amal expressed the emotions of her heart designed and decorated in metaphors. Every weekend, he’d wait for her letter. Sometimes, they would meet in secret too. Aahil felt it, the word he once read in a book at the local library. Forelsket, the euphoria one felt while falling in love, and without even realizing, Aahil was drowning in the sea of her ocean blue eyes, the ones as deep as the abyss of darkness, and he felt nothing but never-ending endearment for the girl who wrote for him, a girl as beautiful as the similes of poetry. 

It was one of those nights when rain poured heavily and the wind blew furiously. But Aahil had received a letter at the doorsteps of his house, a letter of love, a letter from her. 

“Dear Aahil,

I think of you when the sun goes down. I think of you when the sun comes up. Your star is shining very bright tonight. I miss you.

Love Always, 

Amal”

He missed her too, for that is why he must meet her tomorrow and tell her the truth. Adil was a grown man who had to handle the responsibility of his sisters who were unmarried and a mother who was widowed at a young age. He couldn't see them suffer, that is why he had to do it. Travel to a land far, far away, and send a few bucks back to his village so he could take care of the women of his house. But, Aahil felt a sense of discomfort in his heart. It was, as though, his heart and soul were begging him to remain where he was. As though they were begging him to stay. 

Aahil and Amal met under the palm tree by the beach at midnight so no one would notice them at that hour of the day. After she heard about his departure, tears couldn't stop pouring from her eyes. 

"But you said forever" she whispered. 

"I know," Aahil said, "But just give me a little time."

"How much time do you need? What is so important that you have to go to a land so far away? Can't you earn money here?"

"You know that I am the man of the house. I can't just run away from my responsibilities. I have four sisters at home and they are all unmarried. They sew clothes all day just to earn a few pennies and even that isn't enough for all of us. Don’t they deserve to feel joy too?" 

"But, what if you forget me?" Amal said as he stared at Aahil with tear-stained eyes.

Aahil cupped his beloved's doll-like face in his hands and whispered, his voice trembling with grief "How can you say something like that? I will never forget you, ever. Whenever you miss me just look at my star and I'll look at yours. Whenever you are sad or you want a shoulder to cry on, imagine your pillow as me and cry as much as you want to. But no matter what happens, you must never forget the years we spent under the palm tree by the beach from dusk till dawn. Wait for me until I come back. Wait for me, under the palm tree by the beach from dusk till dawn. One day I will come back and that is when I will marry you. You are mine and I am yours.  And nothing can change that. Not even my departure, not even the distance between us. Nothing."  When Aahil said these words, Amal could hear the heavy sadness in his voice. Feeling the warmth of the sun in the season of winter, and the coolness of the drizzle in the hot season of summer, growing up, they felt it all together. Watching the leaves fall from the trees as they’d die, turning into spectacles of dust and crunch, Aahil never knew that one day, they’d end up like the fallen leaves too. He was grateful to the Almighty, for finding love, without even looking for it. Because Amal was someone he never knew he needed in his life, until this very moment as he held her in his arms and spoke of the future, the future that was unknown. And that was when they kissed under the moonlight by the sea. That was when they sealed their promise with a kiss. He wanted the time to stop, so he could experience the feeling of kissing her for an eternity. Because Aahil knew, both of them were meant to be. And Amal? she was willing to wait for him, as long as it took, even for an eternity.

But as the years went by there was no sign of Aahil. Five years, six years, seven years and a decade had gone by. He hadn't even written a single, even to the one who was waiting for him back home. Amal could wait but her age didn't and neither did her family. A rich merchant named Adil from a nearby land asked for her hand in marriage. He was a pleasant man with a soft-spoken nature. No matter how perfect they said he was, but he wasn't her Aahil, her prince. The one with whom she played under the palm tree by the beach from dusk till dawn, young reckless and in love. She couldn't tell her family about the promise they sealed with a kiss under the moonlight. What excuse could she give? that she was waiting for a man she hadn't seen in ten years? the boy she doesn't know is dead or alive? And just like that, Amal realized the bitter reality of life. That no matter how much we love someone, no matter how many times we've promised them forever, no matter how many kisses we've kissed, some things are just never meant to be. Some people just aren't written in each other's fates. 

Amal married the rich merchant Adil and moved to his land, living under the roof of his mansion. The house had an eight-foot long window and a balcony from where she could see the entire sky lit up with thousands of stars. Amal spent most of her nights sitting in the balcony studying the sky with an aching heart. She no longer longed for Aahil. Instead, she loved him from afar. Like the sun loves the moon. But Aahil's star and hers were the ones that stood out. Amal gazed at her beloved's star and wondered "Are you out there somewhere unable to sleep too? Are you staring at my star right now as I stare at yours? Please, do not consider me disloyal when you were the one who couldn't even write a single letter to me too. I waited for you every day under the palm tree by the beach, from dusk till dawn. But you never came. Are you there? because even if I am married to a man who possesses everything that a husband should, he just isn't you. I miss you."

Aahil was the only reason she felt buoyant even on the most despairing of days. But like the flowers of a dandelion, Ahil had disappeared into thin air, and Amal felt nothing but sorrow. Nothing but sorrow. It wasn’t until that moment, Amal had wished to feel liberosis, a desire to not care too much over what has passed, and over the things that are yet to come. Sleeping in the same bed with Adil, a man she did not even love, Amal felt a crack on her beating heart. A heart that belonged to only one person. But he was gone now. Her Aahil was gone.

Forever. 

Years went by, Amal and Adil had two beautiful daughters. Both of them had inherited their mother's smile and kind eyes. One afternoon as Amal was wandering the bazaar, she came across a bangle stand. She couldn't make out the face of the man who sat at the counter of the stall but he kept chanting the words "Bangles for sale, Bright beautiful bangles. Pink color. Red color, orange color. We have all the designs available in every color." From the way he spoke to the way he looked around, Amal realized that he was blind. 

"Hello" Amal greeted him.

"Hello, ma'am." He replied. "Which piece of the bangle is your favorite? You can choose or I can show you one of our special collections."

"Yes, show me from your special collection" 

the blind man took out a box from underneath the shelf and showed it to her. 

"I'd like to try this one." 

"Ma'am, if you don't mind. May I help you wear those bangles?"

"Yea" Amal smiled widely at the man who couldn't see yet his gesture seemed very kind. She put her hand forward for him to put the bangle on. When their skins touched, a familiar spark went through their bodies.. A feeling of love and a feeling of despair filled their hearts. She knew it, the moments their skins touched "Aahil" she whispered. Tears filled her eyes and for a moment, everything stood still and the people that walked around them didn't matter. It was a moment they had once again gone back into the memories from their pasts when Amal was a young maiden with flowing black hair and Aahil, a reckless boy in love. But that moment didn't last long when she pulled her hand away from his hold. There were so many questions running through her mind. What happened to you? How did you get into this part of the town? Weren't you supposed to be in the land far away? What made you lose your eyesight? How did you lose so much weight? Why did you never write to me? Do you even remember me? Do you know that our stars are still there shining brightly in the sky every night even though almost twenty-five years have gone by? Do you remember the promise we made and the kiss we had? Do you remember the times we played under the palm trees by the beach from dusk till dawn? Amal wanted to ask all of that but she didn't. Instead, she faked a voice and said "Thank you, I don't want to buy anything. Perhaps the next time when I come around I will buy something for sure." saying these words, she walked away without hearing a word he had to say. After finding her two daughters who were buying dolls at the toy shop, she rushed to her car knowing fully that she will never come to this market again, ever.

As for Aahil, he knew for sure that she was Amal. He knew it was Amal the moment she came near him because he could feel her presence. She was a soft composition of piano, a tune he never wants to forget, even when he turned eighty. She was a poem written by the heavens above, and the words of that poem have been engraved on his heart for eternity. And Aahil knew he could never erase Amal from the closet of his memories, even if he wanted to. Because she was the one who taught him, the beauty, the grace, and the bittersweetness of lovers who are not meant to be. 

Aahil smiled to himself and thought "She still smells like strawberries. And she is still a terrible liar. Her hands aren't as soft as they used to be but they still felt as beautiful and they calmed me. I am glad that she is okay. She is happy. That's all that matters. I pray she won't be heartbroken for too long. But loving her? It wasn't a mistake. It was anything but a mistake. We were infinite. Our memories are still alive. In the moments spent under the palm tree by the beach from dusk till dawn. It's a shame I cannot see her. She must still look as beautiful as the day we kissed under the moonlight. I miss you, Amal. I miss you.’ It was a feeling of nostalgia, a feeling to remain near to someone, to touch someone, to feel someone, to hear their breath quicken as you make love under the light of a thousand stars, and to hear them whisper your name with a passion, to hear them say the words “I love you” and wanting to hear these words from the same person over and over again. He felt an intense yearning, a grief for the places and people in the past, the ones that remain no longer by his side. The ones whom he loved with every ounce of his heart, and promised to never be apart, but life is uncanny, it has ways of causing us pain, and no matter what we do and how hard we try, some people are not meant to be together with each other. That is when he realized, a person could be your soulmate, he could be a part of one of the most important chapters of your life, and still not remain by your side. 

That day Aahil and Amal never separated, they were alive in each other all along. They carried each other on their wounded hearts and were together despite being miles apart. Aahil smiled to himself slightly with a thought running through his mind "At least we still loved each other, at least our stars still burned bright. That's the thing about pure and innocent love. It never really goes away. It stays with you, wherever you go, wherever you go."

Staring at the sea of stars above him, Aahil whispered "You will always be with me, out stars, they are forever infinite."