Forgiven

It's been one of the most hectic days of the weekdays.Today's work was very tedious because I had to make up for my three days off.I took the days off so I could take care of my father.It's so sad to see him like this,emotionless,weak,etc even though I always pray for him to suffer what he caused.He has been battling with cancer for the past six months.It all happened when I went to pay him a visit.I did not want to go but my aunt cajoled me.I got there that Saturday sunny afternoon,we were in the living room and he went on his knees apologising to me but my anger took over me,I started cursing hum not thinking of him as my dad,said some spiteful words to him.I was about heading for the door when my father rushed to meet me and he collapsed on the floor.I had to quickly rush him to the hospital.My dad and I don't have this ‘father and daughter' relationship because I do blame him for my life.My life has been messed up since I was 13 after my mother's death.She died an horrific death which I witnessed but thanks to therapy and Halsey.

The Wednesday morning was so beautiful.The opened windows in the sitting room welcomed me with this refreshing air,I felt relieved from the pains I was feeling in my body.I couldn't go to school that day because I was sick even though I tried convincing my mom I would be fine but she did not listen to me.She hates it when I go to school with a sick face and tiring legs so she decided to take care of me that day by cooking my favorite.I joined her in the kitchen to prepare our breakfast then afterwards we go to the hospital to check my health.Though I had this feeling in me I am good to resume back to school after two days of been an absentee in school.The food was ready and we were about to eat when we heard a knock on the door.My mom went to open it and she was followed by this hefty men subsequently my mom phone beeped and I saw a text from my dad saying ‘leave the house immediately with Sofia'.I did not understand what the text mean but as a smart girl I sense it could mean we are in danger with my mom situation.I had to grab a butter knife quickly and hid in my shorts.

I saw my mom struggling with these two hefty men,she was fighting back but they had the upper hand.She was brutalized,she reached several punches from them which made her to bleed badly.After the massive beating she received we were taken upstairs to the masters bedroom,my mom was tied to a chair so was I.They asked her questions about my dad but she wasn't cooperating with them which made take her two thumbs,gave her several cuts,cut one of her eyes and finally killed her.My heart was beating so fast,I was screaming and crying so many thought in my head,why was she protecting him?he is a non-stop gambler,he promised to change but never changed.In a blink an eye,I found myself in a moving car.My hands were tied.I asked where we were going no response from them,I asked about my mom still no response.I began to shout but it was in vain.I couldn't stop hating my dad that moment and the image of my mom lifeless body on the chair flashed in my head.She did not deserve that.She was the best mom.

I opened my eyes slowly and I realized I was in a hospital.How come?I couldn't remember what happened when I caused a distraction in the car.An elegant nurse came into the room at that moment and asked how I was feeling and I replied ‘I am better.How did I get here'?.She told me to be calm and have some rest and she left.The next image I saw made me want to puke,tears sting my eyes.He came close to me apologizing and I started screaming,hitting him.Two nurses came in and told him to leave.How could he?where did he get the nerve from?.I went on screaming even when he had left.I stayed in the hospital for two more weeks taking treatment,therapy and all.I was still traumatized about what happened to my mom.After my discharge,I started living with aunt Michelle and her daughter.She lost her husband in a car accident.She took me in and treated me as her own.Halsey,her daughter and I became good friends and sisters.

My life wasn't so good because I have PTSD and I have been on medications.It's been long I saw my dad,he only writes letters which I never read though I wanted to burn all of the letters into ashes but I decided to keep them in a box.I heard he hasn't been living so well,he got a decent job but still has has lot of debts to settle.And the men who killed my mom were sent to jail.I missed my mom everyday and I won't forgive my dad for it.

Two weeks ago,my dad sent a letter to my aunt telling her he would like to see me but I did not agree to it until my aunt begged me to pay him a visit so I can hear what he want to discuss with me and that when the incident happened.

Today's work wasn't hectic at all,I was done before time today and I headed to the hospital to visit my dying dad.So sad to say.Though when I was young before my mom's death we had beautiful days with each other.He had a nice job then,no debts,no troubles.We lived a happy life until he lost his job.He and my mom always get into fights,he started staying out and that when the gambling began.

I hate visiting the hospital because I hate seeing people in pain.I opened the door gently,he was lying on the bed weak,sleeping peacefully I guessed.He heard my footsteps and opened his eyes,he smiled at me as I walked towards his side.‘Hi dad' I said.‘Hi Sofie' he said back still smiling.He doesn't look handsome as he used to look,he looks pale and older than his age which is devasting to see.We just continued staring at each other.After some minutes,he broke the silence and pleaded to me,explained his reasons which I actually see no obvious reason in it.The doctor said he has few months to live that they can't further the treatment again because he is at his last stage.I felt weak when I heard,emotions overwhelmed me.I left the hospital headed to my dad's house.

I opened the door and walked into the sitting room,old antiques around.I got to his bedroom and I saw a family picture of me,my dad and mom by his lamp side.We looked so happy and beautiful.Tears rolled down my eyes as I hugged the picture to my chest.I searched his drawer and saw more pictures,I picked them one by one.Then I picked this particular picture of me,it was the last picture with my dad before our unhappy home.I was so happy I won the spelling bee competition that day,my dad was behind my success then.I was so happy,we were so happy.I noticed at the back of the picture there was a message there.It was written as follow:

 ‘Dear Sofie my love,I know you hate my now and you're ashamed of me as your father.I am deeply sorry for the pains I caused your mom and you,so sorry for breaking our family.I love you so much and I am sorry I couldn't help you achieve your dream,sorry for who I turned out to be now.I might not have the strength to tell you this and I don't want to live you alone in this world but it seems I deserve it anyways.I love you Sofie'.

I couldn't stop myself from crying,I love and hate him.And seeing the text about leaving me alone in this world made me cry harder.He was my mentor,we planned to achieve a lot together.He promised to help me become the best lawyer in the country.l decided not to go to college because i couldn't do it without him.Everything faded away.I got a job so I could help my aunt out even when she insisted.At 21,I don't even know what to do with my life,no dreams,aspiration.Nothing.I was just there in this lonely life.

I did not know it was time for him to leave,I was with him that evening after taking him out to feel alive again.We visited the park and had a beautiful walk.A day to remember,he looked so handsome and young again.I wished my mom was here with us.He was lying on the bed and we had a soft conversation,holding hands when I felt pressed.He did not want to let go but I had to go because I was so pressed.I told him I will be back soon.Before I came back,he was gone.He knew it was time because he left a message for me on his right hand.A picture of me when I won a gold medal in my junior swimming competition with message at the back of it.

 ‘Dear Sofie my love,I guess the time is near.I really wish to stay longer but I can't.I still miss and love your mom.I bought some books for you to practice law.Check the bag in the closet.It has always been our dream.I am sorry you'll have to fulfill it alone.Promise me you will.I hope you forgive me,Sofie.I love you forever'.

I couldn't hold back my tears.I whispered to him even though I know he can't hear me.I hated you for some years but I forgive you dad and I love you too.I cried my eyes out.I called the nurse and two of the came in with the doctor,they checked his pulse and heartbeat and later covered his lifeless body.

Few weeks after my dad's funeral,I decided to go back to college to study law.I promise to fulfill our dream dad.You and mom birth a strong girl and I will make you both proud.I love you both forever.