Harlequin Reality

"Surprise!" Tilly exclaimed once her face came into view through the open front door. She raised an eyebrow and gave a gentle shake to the wine bottle in her hand. "To celebrate your success, we're getting sloshed tonight!"

Sam pursed her lips and glanced nervously at the couch behind her. Tilly followed her gaze and gasped slightly. "Oh! I-I didn't know you had- ahem- a guy over…" she trailed off while looking him up and down in approval.

"I… I don't. Not really." Sam pinched the bridge of her nose and stepped aside to allow her friend inside. She quickly sauntered over to the strange man on the couch and eagerly extended her hand to him.

"Hiya! The name is Tilly! Boy, Sam somehow seemed to forget to mention you before, but I have no idea how someone like you could have slipped her mind. Say, uh- do you need something else to wear?" She bit her lip and looked down at his shirtless torso complete with hardened nipples. Sam quickly shut the front door and rushed to the couch.

"Please, I'm begging you, please please don't be doing this right now. We really need to talk."

"Indeed we do. Does he need a shirt by the way? And… Has he been this slicked up looking the whole time?" Tilly put a finger to her lips and watched as the mysterious man rubbed oil on his chest.

Sam groaned and threw the towel that had been clenched in her hand towards the slick man. "He does this a lot. I may have overdone it with the oily body description." She turned to her friend and grabbed her hands, pulling her attention away from staring at him in confusion. "Listen, I know this is going to sound completely insane, but I really need you to listen to me and believe what I'm telling you." Tilly kept her eyes on him for a few moments more before slowly turning to face Sam. "This is Fabrizio. He's-"

The man leapt to his feet and dramatically tossed his long brunette hair over his shoulder while clutching at his chest. "I'm Fabrizio!" his masculine voice boomed throughout the room while Sam hid her face in embarrassment. "I would die for the woman I love! I would travel to the ends of this earth if it meant that-" his passionate speech was cut short by Sam hurriedly covering his mouth.

"Yeah, yeah." she shook her hands, gesturing for him to sit down "No need for introduction, Fabrizio. I'm taking Tilly to the other room… And please wipe off your chest again."

Sam guided them to her bedroom and gave one last look at the couch before shutting the two of them inside. Tilly sat down on her bed and flicked her eyes left and right in thought before speaking.

"Sam… What the fuc-"

"I know." She flopped backwards onto the bed and pointed at a stack of papers that were resting on her nightstand. "I finally finished the story I had been writing all this month, right? So, I went to print a physical copy of it and after a few pages had printed… out of nowhere there were suddenly a bunch of kittens on my bed." She sat up and lifted a fleece blanket that had been resting on the chair beside her bed to reveal five small kittens meowing loudly.

"Aww." Tilly cooed, then shook her head."Wait, I'm not following."

Sam walked to the bedroom door and paused with her fingers on the handle. "It's weird, right? But I couldn't figure it out until more pages began printing and then…. Then he showed up on my bed too. I didn't know what was going on or how this was happening so I completely panicked and unplugged my printer."

Tilly's eyes shifted to the nightstand where the printer sat with a towel draped over it. "So...you're saying that your printer is bringing you cute kittens and hot men?"

Sam opened the bedroom door and called for Fabrizio. "No, I can't explain it, but for some reason my printer is bringing my story to life."

Fabrizio glided through the door frame and stood with his chest puffed out and hands on his hips. Although being shirtless prior, he wore a loosely buttoned white shirt that billowed by some unseen gust of wind that also expertly tousled his mane.

"Wasn't he- where did he get that shirt?" Tilly scratched her head, paused for a moment, then looked at Sam. "Kittens are in your story too?"

She sighed deeply, then pointed Fabrizio in the direction of the kittens. He inhaled sharply before grabbing all the kittens in one swoop into his muscular arms. He tumbled to the ground now wearing a tight plaid shirt and laughed as two kittens began nibbling gently at the stubble on his chin.

"I just adore animals. I run a no-kill shelter in my small town of Chesapeake Falls." He propped himself up on his elbows and stared right at Tilly while a dark look came across his face. "I can't even imagine that there's people who want to hurt animals out there in the world." A single tear fell down his cheek and his lip trembled slightly for a moment before a kitten jumped up and pawed at his face. His expression broke and he began to laugh again while playing with the kittens.

"Whoa." Tilly mouthed quietly and Sam wordlessly nodded. They sat in silence for several minutes watching Fabrizio roll around on the floor with the kittens like it was some sort of strange cologne commercial. Tilly cleared her throat, breaking the silence. "Um… maybe we can try a different printer?"

The two girls crouched over the small printer set up in the guest bedroom and shared nervous glances while Sam's finger hovered above the print button. She finally pressed the button and they both held their breath as pages began to pile onto the tray. After a small stack had formed, they smiled at each other and let a sense of ease wash over them. Sam twirled around in her desk chair watching the pages file out while Tilly left and came back with wine glasses.

"So what are we going to do with Fab-"

A loud crack emitted from the printer, followed by a bellowing laughter that surrounded them. Sam rushed to the printer and yanked on the cord till the whirring of machinery stopped. A domineering presence loomed behind her until she stiffly turned around to be greeted by a well-built tan man with a long vertical scar peeking out from behind an eye patch.

"Hugo!" Fabrizio's voice seethed in the doorway. He furrowed his eyebrows and gritted his teeth while the invisible fan tugged at his button down shirt.

The man with the scar laughed heartily and propped his leg upon the desk chair. "Yes! It is I! Hugo, the rogue pirate king! And…" he paused before flipping his coat backwards to reveal his shirtless body. "-your evil twin brother!" He tore off the eye patch to expose his lengthy scar and scowled at Fabrizio.

Tilly rapidly shifted her attention between the brothers and settled on staring at Sam with an unreadable expression. "Pirate? Evil twin brother! What the hell kind of story did you write, Sam!"

Sam returned a sheepish grin and shrugged. "I wanted to write something for the bored housewives?"

With a mischievous grin, Hugo withdrew a sword and pointed it to Fabrizio's neck.

"Bored?" Tilly exclaimed, while flailing her arms and gesturing around them. Fabrizio had materialized a sword to partake in the fierce fight and slid it beneath the sword pressed to his Adam apple. "I'm definitely not bored!" She screamed to be heard over the clanking of metal and male grunts.

"I mourned months over you! It was only in the arms of my beloved Katherine that I was able to find solace from the depression caused by the news of your death." Fabrizio stood panting before his brother; his hair matted with sweat but perfectly placed against his sharp jawline.

Hugo's face twisted into a look of disgust. "Katherine! You stole my woman?" He furiously swung his sword with a guttural yell.

"I truly believed you to be dead, my brother!" he remorsefully replied while defending with his sword.

"You would only be so lucky." Hugo retorted before plunging his sword into Fabrizio's abdomen.

"Oh my god!" Tilly screamed and ran out of the room.

Fabrizio crumpled to the ground as his twin towered over him with a sneer. His lips quivered and slowly lost coloration as he simply blinked in disbelief at the wound in his belly. "Hugo." He rasped and weakly pulled his brother towards him. "Tell- tell Katherine, I-I love-" His body started to crumble into ash until it blew away into oblivion.

Hugo fell to his knees and ran his fingers through Fabrizio's ashes before quickly drifting away in the same manner.

"Well that was interesting to say the least." Tilly chimed in; She walked into the room carrying a bowl with the burnt remains of the story, grabbed the other papers off the printer, and set them ablaze with her cheap lighter.

"To be fair, this was the part where Katherine was supposed to storm into the room and say 'tell her yourself'. It's supposed to be very moving." Sam mumbled while Tilly rolled her eyes and walked away.

It wasn't very surprising that Tilly didn't want to read her story after experiencing the characters first-hand so she rather quickly decided to go home. Sam was left to clean up the toppled furniture and ashy carpet.

" Perhaps I should write something about winning the lottery instead." She said to herself when a small kitten rubbed against her ankle.