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Fiction Coming of Age Funny

The heavy petals of rain devoured the light provided by the moon as I ran through the wet paved wet road with my briefcase serving as my umbrella. I feel the cold sticky wetness of mud crawl into my boots and onto my socks as I ran closer, and closer, to home. To my surprise, the conventional dead and rugged house I came to live in every day turned into a fairy-tale-like building; rays of light beaming out of the windows with plants giving an enriching sense of class to its homeowners. Curious and cold, I set aside the new yet beautiful site my eyes have caught.

I gently knocked on the old yet varnished wooden door, hoping, that Macy would quickly let me in. A minute has passed and still no answer of Macy's welcome. Frustrated and cold, I took it upon myself to open the door and quickly caught sight of a scene too strange for my drunken mind to handle.

"Welcome home sweetie!", greeted Macy with a sweet smile on her face while setting the table.

"Where have you been? It's a weekend." she continued.

"Work", I hesitantly answered, "I needed to pass a few documents to the boss."

"Really?- Weird ", Macy looking at me with skeptic eyes,

"I went by the store earlier.", she continued, "I thought to cook something nice since...", Macy paused, "I saw something tiresome to the eyes."

Nervous with her words I glanced my view away from Macy and onto the food she was preparing.

"What could that be honey?", I hesitantly asked.

“Well-”

Before Macy even had the chance to answer my question, I cut her off to turn the conversation into something else; something safer.

"That looks good honey", I said with confidence under my scared expression, "I'm sure am lucky to have you!"

I stopped and placed my hand on Macy's soft and fair shoulders, but, she swatted my hand off her shoulder like a fly on someone's food.

"Don't play with me Marv", Macy now yelling at the top of her lungs, "I know you didn't go to work today- where did you really go!?".

Terrified with the events, I nervously answered her question with my truth.

"At work Macy", I nervously shouted back, "where could I be of all places!?".

Knowing the next sequence of events, I turned away from angry Macy into our peaceful, not anymore, living room.

"Don't you act dumb with me Marv", Macy answered while following me to the living room, " I saw you at the store earlier- WITH SOMEONE OF THE OPPOSITE GENDA!"

I swallowed a handful of my own saliva before taking my seat on the soft and cozy couch.

"I went to the store earlier with Erika for lunch", I calmly answered while taking my wet and soaky socks off my feet, "why didn't you come over- we could have had lunch together."

Macy with a furious face slapped me with her ferocious hand. Her slap hit my face so hard that I can hear echoes of silence together with noise. With a little more force I was surely have gotten knocked out.

"You stinking pig liar", Macy screamed while shaking her hand, "I know your company doesn't offer women jobs- YOU.POLISH. GLASS."

Realizing that I sounded a bit dumb, and caught, I took the best solution possible for my own benefit.

"The world is changing Macy, so are we!" I confidently exclaimed, grinning in her face.

With a frustrated face, Macy stormed out of the living room and onto our master bedroom.

"Just so you wait Marv!", screamed Macy from the other room, "let's see how you can lie on this one!".

"What's up with her?", I whispered loud enough for Macy to hear.

"I come home late from work", I added with frustration in my words, "tired and wet, and now she's mad at me for something I'm innocent about?", I sighed with disbelief, "not tonight."

Restless and afraid, I'm sitting back on the living room couch, trying to change into my house clothes, holding an uneasy feeling of what Macy has up in her sleeves.

It didn't take long for Macy to come rushing back to the living room, holding her phone in her left hand and trying to access it with her right.

"Work you say?- Tired you say?", Macy brokenly continued, " then how can you explain this Mr. Marv!"

I stood up from the couch and squinting my eyes into the screen of the phone, where, an image of me and the girl I was with earlier, my arm around her shoulder with both of us smiling at each other. Damn, I'm caught.

Refusing to tell the truth, I instead made my own truth.

"Meh", I bluffed while pointing my finger at Macy's phone, "that could be anybody else!"

"Come on Macy, there are at least 7 billion people in the world; that could be anyone who happens to look like me.", I added.

Irritated as Macy was, she gently placed her phone on the nightstand of our living room and slapped me once again in the same area with her last slap. This time it was a bit harder and with anger.

"I knew it was a mistake not to confront you in the scene", Macy angrily shared her insight, "I could have humiliated you with your chick in front of so many people! But no, I chose to be civilized for your sake! Hoping that I was wrong. Hoping that one of those 7 billion was not you! But no!".

"You stinking good for nothing cheating pig liar!" Macy added as each slap landed on my face.

Macy began to cry while she continues to pummel me with her fists and kicks me with her feet to satisfy her frustration, which it didn't. And I was unable to do nothing, but, to curl up like a ball- protecting my head from my wife's fury, hoping she would stop. At least the crying.

December 03, 2020 01:53

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