5 comments

Drama

Amy awoke feeling exhausted from her terrifying dream.    She had been trapped in this cycle of fighting with her best friend, Lilith, over and over.   She felt relieved that it was just a dream or at least she hoped it was.  She remembered that it was Lilith's birthday as she ran down stairs and grabbed the forest fluffy pancakes her mom made.    She darted upstairs and got ready, rushing out the door, late for school and needing a gift for Lilith.   

“Papers! Come and get your papers!” yelled the newspaper boy.   Amy rushed and grabbed onto the paper, nearly knocking the boy over.   She felt so bad, but just couldn't stop.   She had to get to school.  She read the paper, hoping it would have a gift idea in it, but nothing.  

“Oh no! Now what?”  Amy ran into the school and barged into the class.   The teacher scolded Amy, but she had no excuse this time so she sat down and looked at her friend with frantic eyes. Lilith looked back, then Amy gazed at her book hoping that something would come to mind.    Some idea of what to give to Lilith for her birthday.   

When the bell rang, Amy paced over to Lilith and told her that she didn't get her a gift yet and Lilith began to turn bright red.  She was mad and stomped off.  

 Amy thought that was selfish of Lilith to have done.  Then Amy began to cry and slowly she came to be mad.  

 “How rude of Lilith to get so mad at me for not having a birthday present right this second!”  she mumbled.  Just then Amy felt a weird feeling deep in her gut.  It was a feeling that said that she needed to get back at Lilith for being so selfish.  Her gut was telling her to get back at her.

Amy soon calmed down a bit, and snapped back to the zone, quickly ran to her next class.  Amy’s brain couldn’t stop being angry at Lilith.  She started to think of a plan, even though she didn't know if she wanted to continue with her idea.   An idea came to Amy's mind on how she would get back at her selfish friend.   She remembered that there was going to be a surprise party tomorrow night for Lilith’s birthday.   Just then she knew what she had to do.  SHE was going to ruin Lilith’s party and get her back for being so selfish.  

Amy had stayed up all night planning and she had felt so energetic but burnt out at the same time.   She dropped onto her floor and fell fast asleep, drifting away to soft fluffy clouds and sheep jumping around.   

She came back awake 2 hours later and ran to school, not even fully ready! Her friend gave her even worse of a glare than she had expected.   Amy sat alone at lunch and planned out how she was going to do it.   She placed the paper in her bag and finished the school day feeling ready.   When Amy got home, her mom stopped her and said, “Hunny, can I wash your bag? It is just growing dirt on it!”  Amy told her mom that she could wash it, ran upstairs, and rushed to sleep.  

When she woke up she noticed the time and realized it was time to begin getting her revenge.   She looked around for her plan and remembered that she left it in her bag.    Just then her mom knocked on the door yelling her name.    She opened the door and asked, ”Hi sweetheart can I talk to you?”

Amy's mom told her to sit down and she began to say, “I saw your plan.  Why would you do something like that to your best friend? I think we both know that's not what you want.”

She was right. Amy had to tell her mom what happened.  After she talked with her mom, her mom gave her the  look that said, “It's going to be ok!”  causing Amy to start crying.  Her mom hugged her like she was saving her from falling.    Amy's eyes began flooding with tears again.  Her mom gave Amy a soft kiss on my forehead and walked out of the room.    

Amy layed back down and began to think to herself that she didn't want to do this. She needed some time to think about everything but then her body just began to move, like she wasn’t in control anymore.  

She ran to Lilith’s house and set up her plan to pour food coloring on Lilith’s head when she walked in.  Time flies by and next thing Amy knew it was time for the guests to come.  She sat down behind the couch thinking to herself about how she didn't want to do this to her best friend.  But then, the door opens and everyone shouts, “SURPRISE!”

Her first prank was to cover Lilith with food coloring when she walked in the door.  She sprinted under the prank and set it off. Amy got covered in food coloring!   The next prank was to make Lilith slip in oil. Amy ran to the oil and blocked off the area.  Lilith ran upstairs crying. Amy followed her,  knocked on the door, and then opened it slowly.  It creaked and Amy said, “Are you ok?”  Lilith says that she is fine and that she asked if Amy did all of that.  Amy told her that it was going to be a prank because she got mad when she didn’t have enough time to get her gift.  Lilith stands up and opens her arms for a hug. Amy ran over to her and said, ”I'm sorry, I just have been having a really bad day and I got overwhelmed with everything going on.”

Lilith told Amy that it's ok that most people have bad days and have to let it out somehow.  We both had tears running down our faces as we hugged and cried for a few minutes.  We got ourselves together and went downstairs to the party like nothing ever happened.  We stayed up all night watching movies and laughing about war and happened.  We both stayed best friends and grew up laughing about it for the rest of our years together, and of course dreaming about sheep and clouds jumping around together.  

November 14, 2020 03:18

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5 comments

Ava McNurlan
18:00 Nov 20, 2020

Sorry about the POV switch I pressed the wrong button and it changed my words and I did find them all I guess,but thankyou for reading or looking at my story.Have a great day!

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Courtney Cloud
23:41 Nov 18, 2020

This is such a good idea for a story. I liked that you took this prompt in the path of two best friends. The first piece of advice I want to give you is to read your story out loud. There were a lot of sentences that felt a little long and muddled which I think would have been easier to notice out loud. Also as mentioned by Chelsea, you probably would have noticed the POV switch. Pay attention to punctuation as well. There were a lot of places that you missed out on a comma, and a few places that felt like you didn't need a comma where you p...

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Ava McNurlan
17:57 Nov 20, 2020

Ok thank you guys.I will make sure to keep that in mind!

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Chelsea Minjarez
22:22 Nov 18, 2020

This was interesting! I did notice that there is a point-of-view switch at the very end. The rest of the story is third-person, talking about Amy and Lilith. The last few sentences switch to first-person by saying "We" as if it were Amy telling the story. To keep the point-of-view third-person, you would need to use "They."

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Ava McNurlan
17:58 Nov 20, 2020

Thankyou for letting me know I had pressed the wrong button and I changed up al lot of my words so I may have missed some!

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