Clean-up Crew

1. Write your story about two characters tidying up after a party.

You never knew what to expect during one of these parties, but you knew Buffet Laura would be there, and to expect the unexpected. This was a small town full of eccentrics, and Buffet Laura was sure to be anywhere that free food was available, and stick her hands in everything. Although wiser from the past few events she had thrown, Pat had several of her colleagues watch BL and give her the food rather than let her serve it, yet she still managed to get into the recycling bins and pull out dirty plasticware, only to proceed to stick it into the serving platters for others to be contaminated….see, the unexpected would happen no matter how well one prepares. Pat catered the event, right down to the flowers and decorations for this art award ceremony, and her best friend Jill always helped out with cleaning up afterwards. All Pat could think of was the biggest drink she could buy when they were done, and she decided a martini in a glass the size of her head was in order. Fifteen minutes to a martini, ten minutes to a martini...the countdown began in her mind hours before, when the boring speeches were being given. Just a bit more sweeping and they were there. 

Pat had her colleagues help clean up afterwards, or that countdown would have been much longer. The men put away the chairs; carefully lifting so as not to scrape the floor and cause damage and cost a deposit Pat was responsible for. Being creative was her thing; she loved to cook and entertain as that bordered on her artsy side,  making food and flowers beautiful, so was always touched when people asked her to put on a party. Jill was more analytical, and good with damage control. Her bff had some health problems, so the more she could make trips to the car, carrying the large boxes of catering supplies Pat had brought from home, the better. The two women had an eye for detail and worked well as a team; they often said they should go into business together, as the parts of their respective personalities that were not the same, really complimented each other. They just couldn’t think of a venue, although they both had a knack for garage sales and finding treasures for themselves and others. 

Once the two ladies got the place deposit clean, they walked over to the American Legion nearby. Pat, although not a military brat, had found out through records that all the men in her family had served in the US, prior to serving in Europe before they came over. It was a proud distinction she had. Pat loved attending the potlucks and Veteran’s Day events there, and got a kick out of the dive bar, homey environment. Plus the drinks were cheap, so that was a bonus. Jill wasn’t as big a drinker as Pat, but when she did...watch out! Many a time Pat would have to guide Jill by the scruff of her jacket out of places after a sniff of a cork too many. Pat usually liked wine, and all the posh nosh that went with it, but Jill liked spirits; neither was big on beer. In this small town, there was always something going on; gallery walks, music festivals, Shakespeare in the park...all free, and all inevitably with Buffet Laura and other eccentric characters, like the woman that rode in on her bike always dressed in Victorian garb, including corset [queue music of wicked witch from Wizard of Oz here] or any of the other hippies that never left Woodstock. But hey, there was plenty to do, most of it cost nothing, Pat would prepare elaborate picnics carefully paired with wine, and the two women that considered themselves the only normal people in town, would enjoy the venues and each other’s company. 

The fifty yards or so it took to get to the Legion felt like concrete boots walking there to Pat; she was spent. The ladies ordered their cocktails and settled into rickety seats, with the usual crowd. Pat was intent on guzzling her martini, which sadly was only normal glass size, and the ladies only had a few sips when a drunken familiar local came by. He could barely stand, but Pat knew him right away; the Chaplain for the Legion, ironically, who liked to drink freely his communion wine in a whiskey glass. As sauced as he was, he must have been doing a lot of praying tonight...and apparently Jill was the answer to those prayers in his inebriated brain. He staggered over to their table, and immediately started hitting on Jill! 

All the women wanted was some peace and quiet in an alcohol-fused state, and this happens. Normally it was Pat who was there, and because she dressed and acted posh, it got attention. Both women stuck out in a crowd, one blonde the other brunette; Pat had spent much of her adult life in England, and Jill spent much of her childhood growing up in Saudi Arabia, so they both had an air of distinction about them. Hence, they were used to onlookers, but not out and out drunks fawning after them. The not-so-holy Chaplain was not going to stop. LIke most of the other people in this town, he came from here, he was related in some weird segue to the wealthiest founders of the town, back when they thought it would be the next San Francisco. That didn’t happen in the 1800’s, but based on the amazing Victorian architecture, you could see that the founding fathers certainly thought it would. The reason the women knew this about him was it was mentioned on one of those ghost-busting ‘reality’ shows, since the followers of such things tend to believe paranormal activities live in these old places...his family had the most elaborate tomb in the cemetery.

Even though neither woman wanted this attention tonight of all nights, he wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Pat had to speak up; she said she had a long day, they wanted just to chill, that her friend wasn’t interested, and so on. The Chaplain knew Pat from the Legion from bringing her famous food to events there, so rather than listening to her, he insulted her, either out of drunken logic or to very pointedly hurt her and get her to back off. “Oh, so I see you brought your DAUGHTER tonight with you!”, he said to the friends that were close in age...not a thing to say to impress! In his mind, that meant by proxy, Jill would be a good girl like Pat, good wife material, not a skanky pool hall girl but someone that would make homemade muffins and potato salad and let you stay out all night drinking. Not! Insulting a woman’s age is NEVER a great come on...yet for some reason, men do it. * Note to men everywhere...if you want to impress a lady or just get laid, don’t go there! He then started playing with Jill’s curly locks, and Pat was now like a pitbull protecting her friend. Honestly, they just wanted to decompress from the stress of the party and not be hassled. Pat told him to NOT touch her friend, that was unwanted attention...she looked around to see if any men would defend them, but no one was going to get into the Chaplains way. The two women instead had to gulp down their untouched drinks and leave, more stressed than when they came in.

A few months later, it was Jill’s turn to play hostess. She worked at a fancy resort that was about to re-open; it was professionally catered so Pat didn't have to lift a finger other than show up and lift the full champagne  glasses to her lips and offer moral support to her friend. The event was styled beautifully; the kind of thing Pat wished she had the budget for. There were many white linen tables with elaborate flower arrangements, a full buffet, waiters wandering around with trays of nibbles and drinks, and someone tinkling the ivories of the grand piano that had stood untouched for many years. Lots of people showed up; it was a success. Jill’s boss was highly-wound, an 82 year old that refused to quit working because he thought he would die if he did. He was a nervous mess, riding Jill more than usual, so Pat was there to offer moral support. Of all people, who wanders in? No, not Buffet Laura, thank God; it would have taken all the cute cater waiters to keep her from putting her bare feet into the cheese platter. No, it was the Chaplain! Moderately sober, he saw the two women, now had a vague recollection of who Jill was. Pat kept trying to play offense, keeping the two apart. She used her mobile in cases she couldn't physically block him, to warn Jill of his whereabouts. Eventually he caught up with Jill, near the shrimp platter. Apparently he wasn’t as obnoxious, as without a few jars in him, he was mostly harmless, although he did hit on her again. Pat watched and cringed in horror. What with her boss going nuts and this guy, it was Jill’s turn in the hot seat. Eventually the two women got to see part of the tour, or rather Jill took her to one of the rooms they normally don’t show, and they had a laugh and a scream. They look out of each other and laugh and cry together and even play interference as pest projector...after all, what are best friends for, but an emotional clean-up crew!