IF MY HEART COULD SPEAK

Cherry had always an extraordinary imagination. No other homo sapiens could have a vision like him, his friends believed. He could have talked with his cat JoJo. It was like he could sense and comprehend, the enunciation and intimate convictions of all incarnate things. What a miracle child!

A generous, introverted, clever, young man was born to a middle-class south Korean family and got a name, ‘Kim Choi-Joon’. The lengthy name had to adjust in the city of dream, and he momentarily rendered it cherry.

Cherry’s father had the ambition to make him a judicious, skilled gentleman. So, he had accumulated wealth as more as he could and sent his child out of the home country to the dream country, New York City.

Cherry always had fantasy dreams. He used to recollect them after waking up and make it into stories out of them. What smart sounds! He had constituted his fantasy sphere bigger than the universe that he adored to stay in it all the time.

The fictional realm had everything that he had not in real life. Trees with multiple wheels, racing each other, big, scary dinosaurs establishing food in their kitchen for their families and chilling, living a normal life like human families. His world was overflowing with reconciliation.

The visions became more authentic when he grew up. It primarily centred on the real-life of individuals who had a distressed life, in his fantasy world they would be liberated from those difficulties. But his life was not permitted to go through that fantasy world. Because he needed to live that life in real. And his life was differing from all of those things. Troubled.

His timid psyche always stayed in the fantasy world. But he had the one largest problem he sought to release from. When somebody chatted to him, he could think of all the retorts he wanted to but when he talked, everything switched. His sentiments blocked him to say the proper words and he used to come to an end up with things to answer what he should on behalf of it. This is how he was in real life, clogged like an ant.

Life never runs on your chosen track. That was for every people and for him too. His imaginations got heavy on him when he grew older, and decided to write this whole imaginary world, so anyone else could also enjoys that world. He decided to become a writer, but his father wanted him to be an engineer. What a tragedy! Like it said before life never runs on your chosen track.

He arrived at New York and got admission to NYU. Although New York was his fantasy city as it was for every writer who chose to publish their books. Now he had to write everything and just to publish. But that was not straightforward. 

A complete day at university and after finishing off it, he had to work part-time at café to comply with his expenses for living. Life was stuck in between the struggle of satisfying his parents dream. And his dreams were laying off somewhere in the dust.

one day he roused up in the middle of the night with a dream. He did not emphasis on the dream because he had a nervousness on his head he considered. That day when his father phoned him to converse, he decisively revealed that he wanted to write a novel after his last year’s graduation complete. Although his father had known the behaviours of his writing.

His father assumed that there would be no future for him in writing as it was not his era’s subject and he should focus on education because that would let him be a real man in their society. The writing was scrap, he believed. Poor imagination!

Cherry was angry at a point and wanted to engage in battle for his freedom. But could not. at the time he sensed how his parents laboured to make his life better and the sentiments transpired again and made him halt to answer everything he wanted to. Those grubby emotions!

Days chucked like and his impatience got higher on to write that daydream world, but he had no time for anything. When he travelled from the metro, he never got a seat because the other locals used to chill on it every time. When there was some little space, every time he could not call for them to have it. How introverted! He had no guts to talk with any strangers because it was the last thing he could not imagine. The answer to people.

Every time he imagined having people’s reaction to being delighted or normal, but they would not, sometimes they had spoken with anger, egos and attitude. Which he was never ready to feel it. So, he ceased talking to people who he could not imagine responses.

His friends at university used him for assignments and for money and he let them do it because he could not withstand them by revealing no matter what. The actual world was the merciless thing he could not control himself. Life was uneasy, uncontrolled and felt stopped. But he prayed every day in the hope of an inspiring sunray who could change his life. How believable!

One day when he was working at café, a woman, perhaps a fairy from heaven entered the café. Her perfect beauty and long, nourished, strawberry smelled hair and her exotic manners of expression, everything attracted cherry’s eyes. He never realized it was happening to a real world. He slipped into his fantasy world. But it was happening in real life.

He sensed it when the lady requested him for a milkshake. He had a mask on his face so, she could not see him. She was busy talking to her friends. She was an Asian too, perhaps a Korean or maybe a Japanese. Could be anyone. But beautiful. He did not speak to her as much. But he was busy imagine her in a fairy tale.

When she left, cherry saw her till she disappeared. He felt something unusual first time ever that day, he wanted to talk to her, but he could not. how penniless! 

He was in his own world, feeling of her, talking to her and hanging out. After concluding his shift, he reached home and snatched a pen and paper to write something on.

He penned about her. He wrote a story about him and her that how they both get to know each other and fall in love. How loving!

He realized that he would never meet her again in real life so, he authored every prospect he would like to be live in with her. He tallied the conflict as his real-life issue that he could not confess anything to people or speak.

In the story, he wrote that he loved her so much but could not declare because she was married before and her marriage was on the edge of divorce. She asked him to help her in that vicious time. He did help him, but he wanted to hold her hand for the whole life, but he could not. how miserable!

But he had the subsequent intensity strength that day. He laid every dread aside that day. He penned that his heart was speaking inside but he had to turn it from the outside. And he did. How fantastic!

He finally hoarded all his courage and professed to the fairy from heaven and the love of his life. And she accepted it with a warm heart and kissed him. And the story closed with a happy ending. The man who could never speak and always chose that ‘if my heart could speak’, and finally he won the battle against all and said it. He gave the title to the story ‘if my heart could speak’. A desire that instead of himself, what if his heart could speak but he had to be a courageous man to speak on behalf of his feeling. And he did in his story. How heroic!

He completed the story and felt the moment of joy he never had before. He promptly grabbed his laptop and wrote down everything. His story was well structured, filled with emotions and inspirational. He remembered the short story competition from the university. He sent his story to it. He never grasped that, unexpected his imaginations would want to be written on a piece of paper. This adjustment made him feel so inspired. He was happy to write for the first time. And It did not take a lot of time.

He always wanted an extra, perfect time for his novel, but he realized the day that he could write damn speedy with wonderful deciding of words. Now he was ready to write everything he imagined without any delay.

Finally, the happy days were coming back, and his prayer was heard in heaven. The next few days went so well. He attended university in the morning then the café shifts in the evening and he wrote his dreamy novel at night and then proceeded to sleep.

After that time, he was happy as heaven and now he could speak to people instead of letting his heart speak on behalf of him. He never greeted the woman of his dreamy world again from that day. But After some more days, she emerged. How pleasant!

That time when she entered the café, he fixated on her again with new inventiveness and believed as she knew him and had talked with her a lot because he did in his envision story. He eliminated his mask from the face with all brave and stuck his eyes in her eyes.

For a second when she observed him, she was amazed by his aspects. And the way he stared her, she felt like she recognized him from years. She forgot the conversation with her friend as she was drowned in his eyes. She ordered the milkshake. She felt nervous as he was glaring her beauty with all his respected eyes. What a romantic view!

The last time cherry could not disregard those moments. And now this time the girl could not forget the moments. Cherry desired to talk but again he felt that if my heart could speak. Oh! Come on cherry!

The girl left the café but in the end, he glanced at the man’s eyes again. She was in love. her eyes could speak. How charming!

Cherry could not sleep that night. Now his fancies were fluctuating into reality. The story really helped him altering his life to a positivity.

After a few days, later cherry went to a party with friends. His all-university friends were congregated there. Now he was capable of the intersection with anyone because at least he could voice from his own now. He was not that longstanding cherry anymore.

He saw that girl. She was so stunning yet in shadowy lights. Everyone was twirling. Cherry finally definite to the conversation to her. He alleged ‘how beautiful she is! I should talk to her. That day she was glaring me as she desired to talk. This time I am not going to expect that if my heart could speak because he is afraid. So, my buddy Mr. dumb heart, you let your self some rest and let me do some action. Ok, so I will start a smooth conversation and ask her to dance. That would be a great move. I hope she would accept it if she would like me too. And definitely, she would derive.’

He slashed the throng and went a bit nearby. But what he saw, made him stop there. She was chuckling with integrity with someone holding her back. They were dancing. She was so happy with that man. The man holding her so close to her body. It made cherry’s every imagination let go off. He trod back. He left the venue as soon as possible. How heartbreaking!

When cherry was going back, she saw him. The girl saw him. How spectacular!

The next day cherry was working at café regrettably. His imaginations took the dejected mode to reflect on the girl. He could think of the ingenious, but the miserable story, a boy meets a girl. Boy falls in love. Girl feels that too. The boy tries to talk to her, but she was taken. The boy feels hopeless and the story ends.’ How terrible!

The girl entered the café at that time. She was alone. She came directly towards him. Cherry perceived her. He sensed again that innermost feeling. But he annoyed to keep himself busy. She ordered the milkshake again. He kept busy making it. No one tried to talk. Girl jammed her eyes in his, but he did not lookup.

“Are you a student at NYU?” she finally said biting her lips.

The boy stopped working. He thought ‘oh no, she is trying to talk. I do not want to. She is someone’s girlfriend. It would be very embarrassing if she would know that I starred her like that. I should not talk. But if not then it will be stupid, wait, I should. But should I ask her that he has a boyfriend?’

“yes, are you too?” he asked, whacking his appearance behind the mask.

“um, yeah, humanities.” She answered, supposing some more from the boy. Her talked look intended.

“yeah good.” He said but not more. He wanted to ask her about that day but desired the last time that if his heart could speak.

“I saw you that day at the party at the university. You left early?” she asked.

‘oh no, she noticed me. That is why she knew where I study. And now if she knows everything about me, damn I would tell her nothing about myself. But what should I say about why I left the party because it was because of her?’

“yeah, I was feeling sick. So, I left.” He said really fast without observing at her, screening himself busy in work.

“oh, ok.” She stopped. She needed to talk something but looked like she was thinking. ‘if my heart could speak’.

“by the way congratulations. I liked it the most.” She spoke.

“what? I mean what are you talking about?” he asked and stuck his eyes to her. He thought ‘what is she talking about? Did she think I’m someone else’s? maybe my mask, she did not recognize me.’

“oh! I mean your story. You won the competition. That was an amazing story about that boy and the girl, truly inspirational. It made me feel that I really should talk by myself instead of feeling that ‘if my heart could speak’.” She said.

‘what? Nooo... way, when did it happen? Wait, I won the competition never knew that. She read my story and hope she does not know that it was written about her, about us. No way what is going on?’ and suddenly his thoughts stopped. His heart stopped talking. Because he hunted to talk now.

“thank you so much. I just abstract something like that and engraved it down.” He smirked, detaching his mask.

The girl leered back to his face and glared his eyes. The atmosphere reformed into a fling.

“well, I had sent one for the competition but maybe your one was natural and with great potentials.” She said to his eyes.

“oh! Well, I had no idea this would happen, it was just written for some familiar one.” He said without intellectual anything.

“who? Your girlfriend?” she asked.

“oh! No, no, I don’t have a girlfriend, it was just inscribed for a fantasy friend.” He lied.

“ok, great.” She said and took the milkshake from the counter where he replaced.

“um, so, you wrote any kind of stories like that for any familiar one?” he asked without hesitating.

“yeah, for an imaginary boyfriend, as I don’t have one in real life.” She grinned and observed at his eyes again.

“ok.” He sneered and looked into her eyes.

The eyes were matched, hints were switched.

“well, you know you said that every time that if your heart could speak, but it really does. Your heart speaks through your eyes.” She said and left the counter.

Cherry could not express anything, this time neither he nor his heart. Because both were stunned from, as both were approached by a girl and her heart.

That day cherry finally converted the one who used to speak with everyone instead pleading ‘if my heart could speak’.

He cultivated his communication with the girl of her imagination and now the real one. Both started to hang out. And became the lovers.

As cherry’s imaginative story who won the competition and made him the good writer got him the girl and the respect towards his parents. After that, his parents were happy and desired him to choose the pathway he wanted.

He wrote a novel and published it. It was inspired by his life that how not every time you should approach that, ‘if my heart could speak’ because it is afraid at some corners. So, you should speak of yourself because it does not help you every time. And at the end, he married the love of his life who was not an imagination now but real life.