Xavier's Regrets

Trigger warning: suicide

This story takes place in seventh grade.

Xavier was doing his work in math class, and a girl with curly brown hair and green glasses tapped on his shoulder.

"What do you want, Jessica?" Xavier answered in a rude tone.

"I was wondering if you could help me on this question," Jessica asked innocently.

"No, now leave me alone."

Jessica turned back to her work sadly and and continued on it. After class was over, Xavier decided to see Lia, his crush, but then he saw her with another boy. She looked lovingly at him and he did the same towards her. Xavier felt sad because he wanted Lia to look at him that way, and not the boy that she was already looking at. The bell rang letting the kids know that they could go home, and so everyone started running out of the building, but as Xavier was walking home, he saw a few girls and boys were picking on Jessica. Throwing paper and kicking her, but Xavier didn't do anything and simply walked away.

When Xavier got home, he saw that his parents weren't there and he went up to his room. He started getting upset because he saw the girl of his dreams with another boy. He wanted Lia to fall in love with him, but now he knew that it was never going to happen. He fell asleep and woke up a few hours, he walked downstairs and saw his mom making dinner.

"Hi honey. How was school?" His mother asked.

"I would rather not talk about it, Mom."

His mom knew what that meant. "Aww, I'm sorry you had a bad day honey."

Xavier shrugged his shoulders. "It's like every other day I guess, you wait for something good to happen and then a bad thing happens instead."

"Don't worry hon. You'll find a good day, I promise. It just takes time, that's all. Trust me."

Xavier smiled. "Thanks Mom."

"Hey, this all reminds me, me and Dad were planning on making your favorite dinner tonight. Salmon and rice."

"Wow, really?" Xavier asked in surprise.

"We haven't made it in a while, I figured, why not."

"Mom you're the best." Xavier gave his mom a hug.

***************************************************

The next day at school, Xavier was in science class. Him and Jessica had the same class together. Jessica never told anybody this, but she had a crush on Xavier. But she knew that he would never feel the same way, but that would never stop her from trying.

Before Xavier came in class today, he saw Lia kissing the boy she was with yesterday in the hallway. The boy's name was Jaxon. It appeared by them snogging, that they either were boyfriend and girlfriend already or they were going to be pretty soon. This just made Xavier even more upset.

After class was over, Jessica decided to go talk to Xavier, or make an attempt.

"Hey Xavier." Jessica greeted.

Xavier turned around. "What do you want, Jessica?"

Jessica sighed and got straight to the point. "I saw the way you were looking at Lia yesterday, I saw her snogging another boy. Xavier, I'm so sorry."

He started to get angry at her. "So, you're spying on me now?!"

Jessica tried to calm him down. "No, no, no, Xavier, that's not what I mean, all I'm saying is that I saw the way you were looking at her. I promise I didn't mean it!"

Out of so much anger Xavier had slapped Jessica across the face. Jessica put her hand over her stinging red cheek and ran out of the school.

That day, when Xavier got home from school, he was grounded for three months for hitting a girl. He was suspended for two weeks. By the time he got back to school, he kept hearing around the school that Lia and Jaxon were now boyfriend and girlfriend. Now he lost the one girl he loves forever. He still didn't feel bad for Jessica and believes that she got what she deserved.

For the next few weeks, Xavier didn't see Jessica back at school. He didn't worry about it.

One day, she finally came back four weeks after Xavier came back. She wasn't her normal self like she was before. She had long bandages around her arms with red on them. She was obviously bleeding. Jessica had attempted suicide after Xavier was suspended. No one at school liked her and even her crush was clear that he didn't want to be near her. This started to make Xavier upset knowing that Jessica was suicidal.

Once they got to class Jessica didn't even talk to Xavier. She didn't even look at him. At lunch, when he went over to the table that she was sitting alone at, she turned away from him. She wanted nothing to do with him. He was upset by this and went to a table full of boys. When she turned away from him, she started to started to silently sob.

When school ended, Xavier tried to go back to see Jessica, but she already started running home.

By the time she got home, she started going on her computer. People went to her private messages in her Instagram and told her to just die, and how she was weak when she started cutting. Everyone that messaged her told her this. She changed into a blue tank top and tight black shorts, grabbed her blade, went to the bathroom, locked the door, and turned on the water in the tub. She waited for it to fill up, and while she did, she looked at the blade in her hand. She felt that this decision was better for everyone. For Xavier, for the people at school, and for her mom and dad. She turned off the water in the tub, climbed in and started relaxing in the water. She soon lifted her blade in her left hand and slit her right wrist. She did the same thing to her left. Blood started to fill the tub, it turned the clear liquid into a dark red liquid. She closed her eyes, her body went limp, and she was gone.

The next day police showed up at the school, students started wondering what happened. Everyone gathered in the auditorium. The principal went up on the stage, grabbed the microphone, gave a shaky breath, and started speaking.

"Hello students. We have just been informed that a student here has passed away due to suicide yesterday. I am sure that many of you know who Jessica Miller is."

Xavier's mouth hung open in shock of what he just heard. The girl he knew, the girl he wanted to apologize to, was gone. He didn't even realize that he started falling in love with her. Now it was far too late. Some people around him started silently laughing, others were shocked, and a few people were crying because they were her friends, and now he didn't even know how to react. Because he was a bully towards her. He felt so guilty.

"Her body was found in a bath full of blood by her father. May we give a moment of silence for Jessica and her family."

The auditorium went quiet.

When they went back to class, Xavier found a note on Jessica's desk.

It read "Xavier, if you find this, I want you to know how sorry I am for bringing up Lia. I know you loved her, and it was wrong of me to bring her and her boyfriend up. The only problem is, I didn't know how to tell you this, but I have had a crush on you since second quarter. I know you probably don't feel the same way, I just thought that you should know. Love, Jessica."

Xavier started crying a bit because now he knows that the girl he was starting to fall in love with is now dead. He knew that he was never going to live down what he did to her.

Moral Of The Story: Don't bully people, because it may cost them their life, and by then, you may deeply regret it.