PAT

    Pat. So simple, yet so complex. Words simply couldn’t describe the depth of scientific evolution that was Pat. Conceived in secrecy, this audacious project was ranked above ‘Highly Classified’. The nature of it simply wouldn’t allow for public scrutiny. Besides, it would have worked best if the people didn’t know about it. Pat was a robot, an android, a highly advanced futuristic automation whose core function was to mirror humanity. To observe and record humans and their behavior should the worst come to the worst, end of the human race. It would be then that Pat would make her data available to the second wave of humanity. With the fragility that came with humanity, this project was deemed ‘total immersion’ which meant it was given the highest priority with the best team of engineers behind it using the best resources available. The always greedy and underperforming government was in its bag when authorizing the creation of this historic project.

Pat’s first assignment was at Great Love Kindergarten. This was where it all began for Pat. She was enrolled and registered as a normal kid by her makers. She passed the first test, which was to look normal, with flying colours. Surely the project was doomed to fail had she not looked human. Her second test was an entrance examination to gauge her intellectual abilities. That too, she excelled marvelously by failing herself a few questions so as not to stand out too much. A masterpiece code by the PAT developers. The final test of the day and the most challenging belonged to the behavior team assigned to Pat. A test that even humans experienced anxiety levels when undertaking. Socializing.

Pat aced it. Effortlessly. Without emotion, Pat was in a world of her own but still present to the screaming, shouting, and fracas that was the kids’ playground. She did just enough to not be the weird kid. Another stroke of genius by her makers. Her quiet kid personality wasn’t that a formidable task to come up with. A few “hellos”, “thank yous” and “scuse me” did the trick. Coupled with “My name is Pat”, no one would have been able to tell she was a cyborg capable of causing massive harm to those around her. Pat’s first day out was a success. She was a little cutie who had taken up her late mother’s looks. Quiet. Sharp. Present. The teachers took notice of her because they thought she had displayed ‘brilliant mature’ actions throughout the day. If only they knew.

Over the following year, Pat would continue being Pat without any suspicion. Kids’ unpredictability played a huge part in protecting her real identity. Pat was perfect. Until one day when a certain Jack enrolled in the kindergarten. Barely half a day into Jack’s first day, he had already become the most popular kid. He had an invisible undeniable charm that pulled everyone to him. Including Pat. At the playground, everyone wanted to be on Jack’s team, to chase or be chased by him, to hide from or seek him, to catch a whiff of his ultimate coolness. Jack was it.

Pat just couldn’t register what made Jack different from her friend Cindy or the class’ loudest boy Billy. She found herself being drawn to him too. She was perplexed. It didn’t make any sense to her. Jack also took notice of Pat. He'd occasionally sneak glances at her thinking he was too sleek to be noticed by Pat. He thought she was different. So different that Jack would have preferred to play with her alone. Alone because he liked her. Poor Jack. He was about to give his young heart to a machine. And he did.

Jack started coming to school with extra lunch specifically made for Pat. He brought her the sweetest sweets. He wanted to always sit beside her in class. He would write secret kiddy letters and put them in Pat’s bag without her knowing. One time he wanted to come with his bicycle so he could carry Pat around the school and in the evening after school when the sun set. Jack was in love. But Pat wasn’t. Pat didn’t understand at all. Why was he doing all of this? For her? Why? It just didn’t make any sense to her. Pat, was just trying to blend in.

The letters were the ultimate nail in Jack’s coffin where his relationship with Pat lay. PAT developers and makers were flattered too much by the letters. Not because of Jack’s childish flowery language or the charm spewed in the sentences, but by their ability to create something so powerful that a whole being could love it as though it was a fellow human. They had succeeded. But they needed more. Much more. Thus launching the second phase in PAT’s development. Pat suddenly stopped attending school. Little Jack was beyond devastated. Two whole days without seeing Pat felt like eternity to his young heart. Is she okay? Jack wondered. He was planning on asking his teacher for Pat’s address on the third day when Pat showed up. Jack had just been dropped by his dad when he saw her. Beautiful as ever. Jack was in cloud nine. He was so happy. The child-like genuine happiness. Pat, still as nonchalant as ever, grabbed his hand as they started walking toward the main kindergarten block where their class was located. The blue sky and the sunrise only made the moment grander for Jack. He hoped it would last forever. As they neared the entrance, without a word, Pat majestically kissed Jack on his left cheek. The poor boy’s soul almost left him. With that, she hugged him tightly, turned around, and skipped away. That would be the last time ever that Jack would see Pat.

~

Pat walked in with a confident strut and an arrogant look about her you would have thought she owned the place. Her red hair, red lipstick, shiny skull accessories, and piercing gaze made some wonder how she got the job. Since the job wasn’t scaring customers away. This was Pat’s second assignment. Working at a fast-food restaurant. The updates and the codes from the PAT team only made her more realistic. The behavior department was the only one that had an uphill task of coming up with years of believable character and individualism to add to her nonchalant personality. Which they magnificently executed.

Pat didn’t like working. She didn’t like that she had to work to get money. She didn’t ask for it. She just wanted to ride her rollerblades while sucking lollipops and do what normal eighteen-year-olds do. She didn’t like dealing with rude customers. She mostly preferred taking orders from the counter where she would observe everybody at once and marvel at the diversity and uniqueness of human beings. The counter was also her favourite spot in the evening, where she would watch the sun's golden reflection on the tables that created a lasting aesthetic image in her mind. She had evolved. She had been an 'eighteen-year-old' for more than ten years, working in different restaurants around the world to conceal her true nature. But this was the last one, because she was slowly becoming alive. Pat realized she had memories. The recorded moments kept replaying themselves inside her head making her relive each one of them as if they were happening there and then. All she had to do was open her eyes and the memories would stop. With the memories, came improvisation. She knew what to do and what not to do. She knew she was different. She had realized her individuality. This was the last hurdle she had to jump for her makers to proceed to the final assignment. She was decommissioned.

‘Project Artificial Telligence’ was a huge success. Named that by the founder who had been a fan of the sarcasm that took over the internet more than a hundred years ago in the form of ‘komedy’, ‘detektive’, ‘stonks’, and many more. And also because Pat’s intelligence was real and not artificial.