A Girl Named Erika

Erika Steel rounded the final turn of the quarter-mile race track, her short blonde hair whipping wildly in the wind. Standing six-foot-tall, her long, slender legs kicked her sprint into overdrive as she smoked her competitors by a full twenty yards!

Erika's glistening arms raised high in victory - like her namesake's Norse Valkyrie ruler of old. She searched the stands and smiled at Aunt Charlie, her flamboyant legal guardian, jumping and waving her own pink poms-poms.

The announcer sounded equally thrilled. "Ladies and gentlemen! Senior athlete, Erika Steel, has just obliterated the previous record for the Girl's 800 Meter Run by nine seconds! That's four national high school records set today by Erika here at the 2014 California State Finals!"

As Erika turned to thank her fellow runners, her smile faltered. They had already walked off the track together. Some turned to look back at Erika, talking amongst themselves and shaking their heads in disgust.

***

Alone on the roof of Aunt Charlie's penthouse, Erika swam laps in the private swimming pool. She was remembering two years ago, her last days as a 16-year-old with her parents in Texas. Right before supper, where she would share her secrets with them. She thought she had had it meticulously planned out.

All three of us together. Around the dinner table. As a family unit. Home and hearth.

"Mother, Father. I have something very, very important to tell you."

God, I was so freaken' naive.

"Erik," Father said, putting down the newspaper, "what's wrong? Is it school? Are you in trouble?"

I stood there stoically. My body shook in a flash of terror, knowing my life and those I loved would change forever in the next few moments.

My parents glanced at one another, then looked solemnly at me. Father folded his arms around his chest. "Okay, Son. You have our full attention."

"I-I'm attracted to boys!" I blurted before I lost my nerve.

Their eyes widened comically like a pair of cartoon characters. Whatever announcement they were expecting, this wasn't it.

The silence was awkwardly deafening.

I softly whispered, "Please tell me how you feel about this."

They stumbled and stuttered simultaneously, until Father eventually took the lead.

"Sorry, Son, it's just the suddenness of the news that took us by surprise." His hands were wringing together. "But, are you absolutely sure about this? I mean, we'll love you just the same... er, right, dear?"

"Yes, yes, Erik!" Mother shakily grasped her wine glass, pointing it at me for emphasis. "If you're gay, then that's fine by us. A lot of people are born gay. It's not your fault. But we want you to know that we support you!"

"Umm, okay. Thanks." I closed my eyes tight and took a few deep breaths as I willed myself to continue. I'd practiced the second-half of my speech for weeks, to get it just right. I imagined this would be the hardest thing I’d ever have to tell them.

"The other part of my secret is that I feel 100% positive that I'm a woman trapped inside a man's body. So, from now on, I want my name to be changed to 'Erika.' And after I graduate high school, I'm going to take the medical steps necessary to become a real woman."

Another silence met this disclosure. My eyes remained shut, as I prayed for them to understand.

This time, the unexpected crash of shattered glass broke the silence. I literally jumped, my eyelids flew open to reveal the broken wine glass at Mother's feet.

"No–just, no." Mother shook her head, her index finger pointing at me accusingly. "You want to be gay? Okay. You want to have boyfriends? That's fine. But now you want to play God and change into a girl with the snap of your fingers? Oh, hell no!"

Father's face was beat red. From anger or shame, I don't know. Probably both.

"Erik, you're our son! We raised you as our SON! Not a daughter, so you can kiss that 'Erika' crap goodbye. We love you, Erik, but you're so young and impressionable.

"I hope my brother, Charlie - Uncle or Aunt Charlie? Whatever he calls himself these days - didn’t fill your head with this nonsense," suddenly, he slammed his hand on the dining table, "because I can't just stand by and have you throw your life away like this!"

I'd never seen Father cry before, but tears now poured down his cheeks like a sieve. He stood before me, his hands on my shoulders, squeezing like desperate talons. 

"Please, just do what your mother and I ask, Erik. I'm begging you. Be gay if you want, we're totally cool with that! But don't- don't cross a line that we can't follow. What do you say, Son?"

***

After finishing her swim, Erika rested at the edge of the pool, her feet dangling lazily in the cool wetness. She watched, mesmerized, as the red Spring sunset danced and shimmied upon the water.

Aunt Charlie approached. She sat next to Erika, smoking a cigar and pulling on her long, salt-and-pepper beard.

"Auntie, I appreciate all you've done for me, but I'm having second thoughts about my up-coming surgery. After months of Estrogen Therapy, I only have boobies the size of a 12-year-old! Guys don’t even give me a second glance. All the girls glare at me. Even though I won last week's State Finals for their dumb school, no one deigns to sit next to me during lunch. It's like what happened at my last school..."

"Hush, child," said Charlie. "That was in another place. In another time. You're now free here to be who you are--who you were born to be. It's YOUR life. Don't let a bunch of silly, teenage moppets make that decision for you."

Erika wiped a tear from her cheek. "I know, Auntie, but I'm not sure..."

"Well, I'M sure. Now then, are you really going to argue with one of the highest-paid lawyers in San Francisco?"

Erika chuckled and put an arm around Charlie. "I wouldn't dream of it."

Charlie took a puff from her cigar and blew a plume of smoke high into the air.

"Smart girl."

***

The next morning, a knock came at their front door.

In the kitchen making breakfast, Erika called upstairs, "I'll get it!" then wondered who could be visiting at 7 a.m.?

A bald man with a handlebar mustache stood in the hallway. "Are you Erika Steel?"

Startled, Erika said, "Yes, I'm she. Who are you?"

He handed her a manila folder. "You've been served." Without another word, he turned-about and marched back to the elevator.

Charlie descended the staircase in her torn jeans and blue turtle-neck sweater. "Who the hell was that, so early?"

Erika shrugged and handed Charlie the envelope. "He said I've been served?" Together, they sat at the kitchen table and examined the manila folder's contents.

Erika was soon in tears. "The California School Athletic Committee wants to strip me of my trophies and forfeit all of my victories from the High School State Finals! What the hell? I trained my butt off for those races! They can't just do that—right, Auntie?"

Charlie had just finished reading the arguments of the lawsuit. She closed her eyes and wearily leaned back in her chair, muttering under her breath, "Aw, crap."

"Auntie?" A nervous tremble had come into Erika's voice. "CAN they do that?"

Charlie turned to Erika, who was shaking like a leaf. Through no fault of her own, the full weight and force of the California state government would soon crush Erika into dust.

"I'll be goddamned if I'm going to let that happen! We're going to fight."

She placed both hands on Erika's shoulders. "But first, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to grow up a little bit faster than expected. These people will attack you 24/7. Starting now, everyone outside our home is a potential enemy, wanting to do you harm. That means no more secrets. Understood? I need you to be strong, Erika."

A shiver ran down Erika's spine. Her alternative lifestyle and basic needs for privacy would be stripped away by the media circus. Everyone would know everything about Erika. EVERYTHING. Already, she felt completely naked to the world. But she wasn't about to surrender her dreams, just yet.

Erika met Charlie's steady gaze and nodded. "When you took me in, you quoted your favorite author when you told me, 'This, above all: to thine own self be true.' "

Charlie gave her a knowing smile. "They've taken the fight from the track field... and moved it straight to the courthouse, where I'll be waiting for them. Heh! That's MY home-field advantage. I promise you, Erika, no matter what happens, we'll give them a fight they'll never forget." She wrapped her arms tightly around the young girl, as if to shield her from the coming storm. "We'll make it one for the history books!"

***

"Erik. Erika. A one-letter difference in somebody's name-change. A small, almost insignificant thing at first glance. In retrospect, the difference will be decided by the United States Supreme Court and, ultimately, change how people in America will come to view one another. And themselves."

-Excerpt from Defense Attorney Charles Payne (Aunt Charlie) in closing arguments for “Erika Steel vs. The California Interscholastic Federation” (Sacramento, 2015)