Rape

 "What’s wrong?" Tim asked his wife Ann, as they laid in bed. He asks her that a lot these days and the answer is always the same. "Nothing." Usually she lets out a sigh afterwards, this time she just gave him, what seemed like a state mandated kiss on the cheek then rolled over and went to sleep.

Tim has been trying to fix what's wrong for a while now. Things use to be great between them. They were high school sweethearts who got married twelve years ago. Tim got a good job out of high school working in the auto industry and Ann went to community college for art. She always had a passion for it, she would say that “I have a lust for life that derives from all the art in the world.”

She even tried her hand at creating, mostly paintings and sculptures but it wasn't limited to that. She also dabbled in playing the cello, as well as writing poetry. They were planning a trip to Europe to visit some of the museums. Although it was years after they got married, Tim thought of it as a honeymoon, seeing as how they never took one. Tim loved her so much he would have been happy going anywhere with her. Ann had planned it for more than just romance, she wanted inspiration. The history, the architecture, and the different culture really excited her.

Two months before the honeymoon, Tim was on a business trip trying to earn a little extra money. Ann was walking home from one of her classes when her life changed. Ann was forced in to a van and was violently raped. Of course there was some physical harm done but what really did the most damage was the psychological aspect. It was the first time Ann had anything traumatic happen to her.

The incident, in some way, opened Ann's eyes to the ugliness of the world. But in large, what it really had done was close her eyes to love and beauty. That night something was stolen from her, more than just innocence or security, her passion was taken. Since that day Ann has never been the same.

Tim tried to help her through the whole thing, but he didn't know what to do. In fact he blamed himself for what happened to Ann. Being on that business trip he felt he had failed as a protector. Now he feels infinitely worse because he doesn’t know how to help her heal from this tragedy.

Tim was a patient man and was willing to try anything to help his wife find the person she was. The information he got from his research was very generic. They tried a few things with no success, first obviously was therapy, then they tried group counseling. Unfortunately they never caught the guy so she was unable to confront the man for some sort of closure.

Ann was riddled with “what if's,” what if she fought back more, what if she took a different route home, what if she wouldn’t have wore that dress? She knew these things were not her fault but still the thoughts of “what if,” seemed to live inside her brain. This feeling of guilt and the questioning of herself was maddening.

Far beyond the second guessing were some of the most awful things, the nightmares and flashbacks. They could be set off by something as simple as a commercial on television or a van driving by. The worst of them could leave her sleepless for a week. Ann knew this put a strain on their relationship but she didn’t know how to fix it.

In one attempt to heal they even took that trip to Europe. She understandably didn’t want to go before, seeing as what just happened. They both had hopes that this trip would, in some way, help. They went to museums, churches, and castles but nothing seemed to reignite her spark. Tim felt like he was dragging the empty shell of his wife around. He was hoping that after they returned she might of wanted to pick up a paint brush but unfortunately she just continued her melancholy ways.

Even though it didn't seem to work they continued going to therapy in hopes that some day she would have a breakthrough. There was one thing Ann wanted to try that Tim was just way too uncomfortable with. After months of her asking, and with conditions they even got an okay from their therapist, Tim reluctantly agreed to reenact her rape. Ann thought if she could fight her attacker off and end the whole situation on her terms she might regain some of her self-confidence and in doing so it would help her start to recover.

Poor Tim was unsure, he didn't think he could bring himself to do that, even if it wasn’t for real. He was very uncomfortable with the whole thing but he wanted the woman he loved back. That and the fact there was zero intimacy in the relationship was enough for Tim to give it a try.

The first time he tried he was very uncomfortable. He didn’t even know where to begin, all he could muster up was a weak little slap in the face. Immediately after, he felt so bad he couldn’t continue. He just whispered that he was sorry, the same sorry he always used, then rolled off of her, ending the whole thing before it began. That didn't help anybody. The next time he tried a little harder but it pretty much went the same way.

All this was getting to be a little too much for Tim. He did not want to live like this anymore, he missed his old wife, he missed the paintings, the smiles and the way Ann seemed to light up a room. Now her life is filled with black clothes, lonely nights and no conversation.

Tim still had a part of him that loved Ann but he couldn’t do it anymore. He wanted to get out of the relationship for years but he had so much guilt and was afraid of what would happen to Ann. He made up his mind to give the reenactment one more try, a real honest effort and if Ann doesn't show any signs of improvement he was going to ask for a divorce.

He had another business trip coming up and figured this would be the perfect time. He didn't want to do this alone so he asked their therapist to help. It took a while of convincing, she seen so many problems with it, not to mention she could lose her license if things went wrong. But eventually, after Tim told her his plan and explained that this was his last ditch effort to save their relationship, she agreed. She knew that in some way Tim was the only thing keeping Ann going and without him Ann probably was a danger to herself.

Tim came home from the business trip one day early, he rented a van, and called Ann to ask her if she could make him chili. He knew she would have to go to the store to pick up a few things. He tried to make this as close to the original occurrence as possible. Then the therapist and him waited in the van. When she walk by he jumped out, easily overpowering her, he threw her in the van, so hard it cut her forehead.

He told the therapist his plan but seeing it in action still shocked her. Tim felt guilty about throwing her that hard and at the same time got some sort of satisfaction from it. He didn't know why, maybe it was pent up from the years of dealing with this woman that use to be his wife. He then jumped in the van and they drove off. He began to forcefully rip off her pants, Ann started to resist and he slapped her, hard enough that her lip started bleeding too.

At this point the therapist was completely overwhelmed by what she seen. She knew what was going to happen but she just couldn't imagine mild mannered Tim committing to this so hard. She had seen enough, she pulled the van over and tried to get him to stop. Tim stopped what he was doing and told the therapist to, “Shut up and just keep driving.” After yelling he paused longer then what was necessary.

He hope that Ann would take advantage of this time, he had placed a few things in the van that she could use as a weapon. Tim wasn’t sure if she had the confidence to fight but then her frail sanity snapped, she grabbed a tire iron and hit him over the head. She had knocked him out and he instantly fell off of her. Next Ann got up and took a swing at the therapist but after seeing Tim get hit she was already hurrying out the door and continued running down the street.

Ann was still a little scared but mostly angry. This was the man who stole her life. She felt the urge to run away but couldn't resist the pleasure of taking another swing. This time hitting him in the ribs. It felt so good she swung again and then again. She hit him a total of five more times. Each time a little more rage came out.

When she stopped she felt better then she’s felt in years. Beating him was cathartic but she wasn’t done. She wanted to unmask this man to see who he was, what type of person would do this. With the tire iron still in her hand ready to swing again, she reached for his mask and started to remove it. Before she got it off all the way, she realized it was Tim.

She was in shock, the thought that Tim might have been the man that raped her years ago entered her mind. But thinking about it for a second she realized that they don’t have the same build and then she put a face to the voice of the driver, it was the therapist. They were trying to help. This just horrified Ann. She just brutally beat up her husband for doing what she asked. She didn't know what to do, she thought about calling an ambulance but she didn’t want the police to show up as well. Without being able to think of another option, she dropped the tire iron and ran home.

Tim got up a few minutes later, collected himself for a little bit and slowly limped his way home. Although he was quite sore and probably had a few broken ribs and possibly a concussion, he felt strangely good about the whole situation. He didn’t plan on getting hit so many times but he still considered the mission a success. When he got home he wasn't sure how Ann had taken the whole thing, he seen that the bedroom door was closed so he decided to nurse his wounds and sleep on the couch.

The next day he was awoken by Ann, she was sitting on the floor next to the couch holding his hand. He seen she was wearing the shirt he won her at the carnival on there first date but even more surprising was she looked happy. As soon as she noticed Tim was awake she smiled at him and gave him a gentle kiss on the head where she hit him. Still not saying anything Ann just gazed in to his eyes, the way she used to when they first met. Tim was used to them being silent towards each other but this was different, there was something familiar and reassuring about it. He wasn't sure to what degree, but he felt like this worked. He knew there was still some healing to do, by both of them, but this was the closest she’s been to the woman he married in years.