Take up your sword

“Are you all right?”

“Gods, will I be again?”

“That. Well, I can’t be sure of.”

“Hold your tongue then. Please.”

“You don’t have to be alone right now. It’s not right for you to be.”

“As if I have any choice in the matter.”

“Move over.”

“I cannot.”

“Then I must just sit around you.

“Are you… well?”

“Ha! I know you always took me for a fool, but I never imagined you as such.”

“I’m. God, I’m sorry.

“Tell me something.”

“Such as?”

“Anything. Just - anything.”

“I am cold.”

“I’m - I know.”

“I. I never expected-”

“Something else, mate. Please?”

“Authority looks good on you.”

“Really? Never thought I’d hear you say that. You’ve never listened to it once in your life.”

“Perhaps that is why I acknowledge it now.”

“Don’t be a prat.”

“Apologies.

“Do you ever think it’ll be legal?”

“What will?”

“Me. To exist.”

“I- I. I don’t - Do you think that matters much now?”

“I am curious.”

“Don’t be. You look like a nervous rat when you ask questions. I- I don’t know. It’s no answer… I just don’t.”

“You said that when your Father ruled. What for you?”

“Please, shut up, mate.”

“When can I ask if not now?”

“To- Oh.”

“Oh.”

“Shut up.”

“It will not be long, now.”

“I said for you to ‘shut up’.”

“You are right: I have never listened to your authority before.”

“That’s what made you so good.”

“I’ve always been better than ‘good’. Every opportunity: I’ve served you. I have done what I could, always.”

“I’m realising.”

“You should have realised a long time ago.”

“You should have told me.”

“It’s always been illegal.”

“It’s dangerous is damn well why. I should have been killed a long time ago off the back of it; you should have been-”

“How long do you think now?”

“You’ve always been better trained at medicine than I-”

“You’ve seen men die before. You’ve caused it.”

“As if you haven’t. We’ve been friends a long time. I’ve seen you kill people.”

“At your orders, m’lord.”

“Stop that.”

“What, my lord?”

“Stop calling me that! You never have before. Unnerving.

“Minutes. Best guess.”

“Between three and a half and five.”

“You’re slipping. That’s a wide window.”

“I know.

“Would you have ever let me serve under you if you’d known?”

“Not the best knight I’ve ever had. Shoddy marksmanship, atrocious conversationalist-”

“Still talking to me-”

“And a dogged friend. I - I don’t know if I’d have hired you. Then. Again. Knowing what I do now, as the man I was then, but - God - yes. The man I am now? The man I am off the back of all the effort you seem to have put into making me? In a heartbeat.”

“Would you have killed me yourself? If you had known.”

“Not a question I want to answer, mate.”

“I won’t press.

“Would you have?”

“Not an honest man, are you?”

“To you? As much as I ever could be.”

“The other knights? Do they know?”

“No. As if I could ever tell them.”

“Because you thought I’d kill you?”

“No, because you would have.”

“Not something we’ll ever have an answer to, I guess.”

“It is a smidge unnecessary.”

“No need to rub it in.”

“Will you kill me now?”

“What would be the blasted point?”

“Even if I was not - well. If this-”

“I don’t know. If I knew I’d feel like this…”

“I knew you care.”

“If you didn’t know that after a decade-”

“Not just that. When I fight, I know the way you see me. You see me. I can only thank you for that.”

“It was I that put you into this position. Where is the thanks there? Where is it owed?”

“It is. I was so bored before I met you that I thought my entire life would be one monotony after the next. You were the stick that broke my cogs.”

“You realise that that phrase is a bad thing?”

“Whatever. I’m no… machine around you.”

“And what has that given you? This is an awful place to… To spend your last.”

“Smell of a sheep shed not proper enough for you?”

“The smell of war. Yours is not the first blood I’ve smelt today.”

“Who else? The others? Which?”

“The enemy, mostly. Our side - there are no other fatalities, to the best of my knowledge.”

“Not a fatality yet.”

“How many minutes did you give yourself?”

“Less, now.”

“Well.”

“It has given me the best years of my life.”

“Hm?”

“You. Working by your side. At your order. You have given me the best years.”

“Stop with the sentimentality. You’ll give me hives.”

“That might be the sheep dung.”

“Awful place you’ve picked.”

“It was close. Sheltered.”

“It’s small.”

“Move closer, then.”

“Wriggle over.”

“Gerrof. I’ll be in the hay and waste at this point.”

“Then don’t pick a sheep shed.”

“I remember a lot. About when we met. The past - gods - elven years? You always were a judgemental prat.”

“And, you, an incompetent clutz.”

“This was not clumsiness. You led us into a slaughter.”

“It’s not a slaughter until someone dies.”

“Give it two minutes.”

“Not funny.”

“No, it isn’t, is it?

“How did you find me?”

“Followed the girlish cries.”

“Inapropriate. But, in all, gods, help me, sincerity, I am - dare I say it - proud of my service.”

“Really? You’ve complained the whole way through.”

“For eleven years? I remember differently.”

“Every other word. Like a pack mule given voice.”

“You never were a poet.”

“I’ll leave it to the girls. Perhaps that’s why you’re so excellent at it.”

“Cruelty knows no bounds.”

“Can’t handle a good tease.”

“I am handling a lot right now, as you can see. Straws and such.”

“Stubborn as a mule.

And, were you being serious? That authority looks good on me?”

“Everything does but that horrid mauve. And, that look on your face.”

“Can you blame me for my expressions?”

“Then neither can you for my shortness.”

“I suppose you’ve earned it. A little release for your tone and words.”

“As you have earned the looks of consternation when you wear that shirt.”

“Insubordination was not one of the things I allowed, mate.”

“What will you do? Nothing, now. No executions can scare me.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“Less than a minute now.”

“How long have you not been able to feel your fingers?”

“Since before you arrived. How could you tell?”

“Your sword is slipping.”

“It has been used. It has fulfilled its use. Have I?”

“Are you asking to be let go from your duties?”

“I am asking if you continue to need me.”

“I fear I shall ever. My mistakes have caused that hole between wants and needs met to be dug - it is no fault of your own.”

“It was the army set against us. Not you. I was… overwhelmed.”

“And, now it seems it is my turn to be.”

“When did you realise? That I am a criminal.”

“I think there was always that hope. I am not smart enough to claim I have always known, but I have always… hoped.”

“Perhaps you are criminal with me.”

“Your hair is soft. What do you use in it?”

“Your fingers are callused. Soaps and herbs.”

“They smell like you.”

“Are we losing?”

“They would be back now if we were. I hold out hope.”

“Are we losing?”

“I am losing.”

“You’re warm.”

“As you are cold.”

“It has always been my honour and my duty.”

“To be cold?”

“Shove off - I'm being sentimental here.”

“I thought I told you to stop with that.”

“And I thought I told you that I do not respect your authority.”

“But it does look good on me.”

“It does look good on you. You have me beat, there.”

“I think… I think you have had me beat longer.

“Your lips taste like blood.”

“I would assume that would be the blood.”

“You aren’t funny.”

“But, on occasion, I am honest. Serving you has been my greatest honour, and my greatest duty.”

“This isn’t funny.”

“You should go back to the battle. We are losing.”

“They’d be back. We have time.”

“Do we?”

“I. God, I will always hate you for this, but I… I release you. From your duty.”

“Thank you. It has been my greatest gift.”

“How many minutes do you have now?

“Hm? How many?

“You are cold - take my cloak.

“I don’t care. They’d be back now. We aren’t losing. We aren’t. They would be back by now. Are you listening? Are you hearing me? They would be back. This… This isn’t. This won’t be a loss. Take up your sword. I revoke my words. Your duty remains. Take up your sword. Take it! This isn’t funny. I am sorry that it is illegal. Did you need to hear my apology? Take up-”