LONELY SOUL

I will finish it all today. So many years of irritation, pain, neglect -I will end it all today. Those people, who will die with me today, are no one to me. Why I should think of them? When my family was dragged away and shot by ‘them', then no one thinks of me. They never thought about how an eight-year-old boy spends his whole life?

 Today is that day – today is my test, the last test. I don’t like to kill common people, but what will they do if they survive? Neither they can change any society, nor do they need any ‘businesses. They just eat and……whether they have existed or not. However, I moved away from the front of the mirror. The joy of saying the words of one’s mind by looking at one’s own face is different. 

Today my target is to eliminate at least two hundred people. Those who gave me the assignment will get the money and my soul will get released in peace, freed from the shackles of so long. Then I will go under the ground or take the road above, who will decide? This society? Man-made religion? Or my KARMA? This question is very difficult. I do not know the answer. Even if I had known, I would not have given it, because everyone was trying to find my name from there. Only the political turmoil would begin again. This is what I want to finish today. The families of those I am going to kill today will also try to find my identity. 

The hotel I stayed in and the high-profile party on the lawn today is my target, is the biggest hotel in the city, like se eing the aristocracy. I have been training for the last three years to learn so many polite words, I had to learn their manners to punish gentlemen. Today is that day. 

Leaving my room, I walked down the well-paved corridor to the elevator. I have a barrier on my body, a specially made explosive jacket. Which is not possible for anyone to know. You know what, in the last six months I have been a part of ‘their’ system. From the post I am in, it’s not easy to suspect me and this is the opportunity I needed. Not to mention how I became a part of this system, it’s not a very important thing. What is important is that my personal frustration is a tool for those handfuls of people, to satisfy their business purpose, make common people foolish Guinea pigs and remove them from the world by the worms of hell like us, gaining the sympathy of the rest of the surviving people, day after day in politics, such an interesting subject can be tarnished without any hindrance. All the teams will get benefit from this. It is not a job to keep track of them.

 The elevator came, I got inside the elevator and pressed the switch to go to the first floor. I’m alone inside. It’s good that there is no one else. When I look into the innocent eyes, I also feel something inside me sometimes. The stone in the chest erodes a little. So, loneliness is very important for me while going on a mission. I checked the timer of the explosive again to see if it was OK. The head feels a little heavy. It’s fine! and for a while. The timer is set twenty minutes later. It will take me four to five minutes to get off the elevator. Then another five minutes to go to the center and execute the explosive. Let’s prepare me for the last time. Just a moment, then it’s all over, they’ll all be released with me. They don’t even know what is waiting for them after fifteen to twenty minutes. 

There was a sound. Suddenly the lights in the elevator went out and only three floors could not go down! Issues! What will happen next? who knows how long the power will come! But I don’t have so much time. What do I do now? The ticking sound of explosive timer seems to be merging with the heartbeat of the chest. I started sweating without knowing it. I shouted. I don’t know who, but I called. I didn’t get any response. Only fifteen minutes left! The moon market is now sitting where the party is taking place. Many people have gathered. They are drinking their last drink now. But shit! I started knocking loudly on the door, there was no answer. Looks like both are stuck somewhere in the middle of the floor. But someone to save me now!

 What a strange thing! I will not be there after twelve or thirteen minutes, but I think someone may come to save me. Hey, I’m not saying for myself, I have to complete my mission, otherwise, what is the use of my dying alone?

 I’m looking for profit-loss here too? Damn it! Hell worms like me should no longer stay here. But for those who are at the top of power, for those who don’t think twice about the loss of life is the same as my thinking. 

Only seven minutes left!

 This time my patience began to break. The whole shirt is soaked with sweat. Like crazy I started kicking and punching the door against the elevator wall. ---” Hey! please open it, brother.” I started screaming like a child. No answers.

 Only five minutes left! 

No! I will not die alone, I will not die without my frustration, my revenge. My mission cannot be ruined like this. I’m a ‘Suicide Bomber’ if I don’t finish my work, how will I go to heaven and show my face? 

Only three minutes!

 Am I going to die? In this way? I will die so terrible? After the blast, my soul will not be able to look at my own dismembered body, if there is such a thing. I heard that before dying, people get to see the flashback of their whole life for a few seconds.

 I closed my eyes. 

All the noise stopped next to the ears. I can’t find any similarity between what I was thinking ten minutes ago. Is this the fear of death? What did I do wrong? Went in the wrong direction? Went in search of the wrong ideology? Now there is no point in thinking. Nothing to do. Two drops of water fell from my eyes. I don’t know why. 

Ten…Nine…Eight…Seven…Six…Five…Four…………… 

Last time I could not understand what victory slogan to give, but the slogans of my ideology did not come to my mind at all. 

The elevator between the third floor and the fourth floor blew with a loud noise. There was not much damage because the lawn was quite far away. However, some people were injured. The police came, intelligence came, media came……The media coverage started with the headline ‘City now in turmoil due to terrorist attack’. The real identity of the severed head lying five hundred meters away from the blast point was suppressed amid political turmoil.