The Last Words Spoken

The last words spoken might be just that. To say the last thing before you go off into the wild blue yonder.

You turn to say what was on your mind and yet you forget what you wanted to say, lost in the vast complexity of the universe, never to be uttered again.

As you try to figure out how to say what was on your mind, what was in your heart, you stumble and then mumble, nothing.

You feel dejected, you feel a sadness cross your mind and realize that you should have stayed long enough to speak the words that were meant to be heard by the ears of the one you wanted to say them to.

Then the music that you wanted to play to match the moment is lost as well. You feel like you have been placed to the side, never knowing what might have been, or what would have happened, instead being lost in thoughts that do not matter.

You sense a loss greater than one should ever have to experience or a pain greater than one should have to bear. You leave knowing that when you remember what you were supposed to say or speak will never be heard and the moment will pass into endless darkness bringing only with it a void.

You walk away and out into the night, never feeling like you mentioned what was on your heart, that the words you felt while you were there, mind, heart and soul, all combined as one. You were there in person, but your thoughts were lost in suspense and could not bring to memory all that was meant to be in that moment at the time you were trying to convey all that you had rehearsed like lines from an upcoming play.

Then you are halfway there to the place you were heading to, at the stop that would take you home, getting your money out to catch a train. It was in this moment that you remembered what you were going to share and surprise them with a question or a notion.

Your eyes widen and your lips speak. You realize that even you were not sure how you did not allow yourself that much needed extra time to say what you had planned to say.

Then with a turn of your body, you start out walking fast, which becomes a slow strut, which in turn becomes a rush of buildings and people, that blur as you run faster. Your heart is racing, and your mind is processing thoughts, and you are not sure how to allow any of them to mess up the way you are thinking and what you will say when you arrive back.

As you get closer to where you were before, you feel flushed and are nervous. You sense there is a reason you came back, that you returned and are hoping that you both were thinking the same things at the same moments. You are this close to saying all that matters to you to say and express the emotions or feelings as they would relate to that which would be spoken.

You stop, hesitating and out of breath. You are sweating after that jog you managed in 2.7 minutes. The blood is rushing through your veins, and you are not sure if they will answer the door excited about your return as you will be when they see you standing there.

You are waiting yet you want to go ahead and feel the adrenaline slowly escape your body and finally allow you the opportunity to say what you wish to say, then wait for them to reply, hoping for an answer of "YES!!!"

As you ring the bell, your body is shaking with excitement, you are nervous once more, with a sense of ease as you find the feeling in your fingers, reaching into your pocket for the ring that you only earlier that same day, purchased and clung to for dear life. You were not sure how to react or to find a way to react. This was one of those moments that could either make you or break you. One word or one gesture could speak volumes.

You are let into the building, the door flung open wide as you rush inside. You slowly make your way up the several flights of steps towards your destination. You are ever so pacing yourself as you feel your heart beating as though it was about to come out of your chest.

When you land on the top step that leads down the hallway, which then leads to the door, the door that will be opened, where the apartment you will enter, falling onto one knee, to ask for this lovely creature to marry you.

You are about at the door, about to ring the doorbell, about to enter their apartment and say the words that were meant to be said and heard by their ears.

Their apartment door opens. it is with a rush of excitement that they come running out to meet you. You have fallen to the floor, with your hand remaining in your pocket, still clinging to the ring inside.

Your eyes meet in a glance, if only for a second. You are smiling and they smile in reply. You manage to get the ring free of your pocket and holding it out, they grasp in their hands tightly.

Without words or anything else except a knowing glance, you and she are sharing an unspoken moment. You are sure you are hearing her say, "They knew you would be back".

Fate had been friendly and had worked in your favor this time. You are amazed at how close two can be and not ever understand how or why.

You are not sure how to show your gratitude and appreciation. You figure you would leave things to chance or left to destiny.

How could they not know this as you pass out from exhaustion.