She Loved Them All

Mel anxiously tapped her fingernails on the run down table. She sat in the local cafe, her regular meeting place with Vic. It was Christmas Eve, but she wasn't feeling festive, and she was supposed to be going up to the lodge with the guys, just like every year since they started that tradition in their senior year of high school. But this year she was about to break that tradition. For over a month she had been keeping a secret from them, something she had been trying to tell them but couldn't. Sipping on her piping hot peppermint latte, she waited, wishing for a good ending.

The chime on the cafe door jingled. Mel looked up, waving. She hadn’t expected the cafe to be so crowded, but it was packed with groups of friends and families. Vic finally noticed her sitting in the back corner booth by the window and weaved through the packed tables, careful not to bump anyone with his heavy down jacket. Before he even sat down, Mel missed him already. 

“It’s freaking cold outside”, he shivered, rubbing his hands together and blowing on them. 

“What are you having? You’re usual?”

“Of course.” Mel lifted her cup triumphantly. 

A waiter came and took Vic’s order. While he waited for his drink to arrive they spoke about nothing, just familiar idle chatter, the same they had done for years ever since he asked her if she had a spare pen back in school. Mel thought it was amazing that they had stayed such good friends all those years, that Vic had never tried to date her. In fact, it was a damn miracle that neither he, nor any of the guys had tried. She was just one of the guys, safe in their circle, protected by their muscle. But Vic seemed strange. He kept pausing, staring at her, like he was searching for the right words, which was unusual for him unless he had a confession. She ignored it, she had her own confession to make and didn’t need his stopping her from getting it over with.

“I’m surprised you called me here today”, he started.

 Perfect, she thought. 

“Yeah, well, I wanted to speak to you alone”, she said, trying to stay calm. Her hands were shaking.

“Coffee too strong”, he asked. The waiter came, placing his drink down. Vic thanked her and immediately tore open a brown sugar packet. 

“Sure”, Mel agreed.

“You know, I’m actually glad you called me out because there’s something I want to tell you too.” 

Mel gripped her hands tightly, trying to force the words out before he could say anymore. 

“The truth is, Mel, you and I have been friends for years, and…well.” As he struggled to collect his thoughts his hand dug into his coat pocket, but Mel didn’t notice, she was trying to bring her own words out, but she was too late. From his pocket, Vic pulled out a small white box and pulled it open, revealing a simple gold ring with a small diamond in its center. Mel gasped, speechless. This was all going wrong.

“Mel”, Vic said shakily. He slid from his seat in the booth and got down on one knee. His movements didn’t go unnoticed, the air of the cafe had suddenly changed and there was an excited hush as all eyes turned towards them. 

“Mel, will you marry me?” He held up the ring, his eyes hopeful, almost pleading.

“Before you answer”, he started. “Just know that I’ve always loved you, since we were kids, I loved you and I’ve always wanted to be with you but never wanted to ruin our friendship. But I can’t keep away from you any longer. You’re my best friend, you are the most amazing, sincere and genuine woman in my life and-”

“I can’t”, she cut him off. Vic looked up at her, dejected. His hands slumped, slowly lowering. 

“I’m sorry”, she sniffed, wiping her sleeve across her eyes, smearing her make up. “But I can’t. I was actually supposed to tell you first. I’m going to Egypt in two days, so I’m not going to the lodge with you guys and I can’t marry you because--”

Her phone rang. 

“Yo, yo, yo! Pick up the phone giiiiiiiirl!” 

It was Zane’s infamous ringtone, the one he recorded so she would always know when he was calling. Vic’s gaze had shifted to the floor, the ring closed into its encasement once again. Mel didn’t wait, she had to get out of there.

“Sorry, Vic”, she whispered, hurrying out of the cafe. There was a hushed commotion, and somewhere she heard a woman sympathetically say, “that poor guy”. Yes, she thought, poor Vic, ring in his pocket, ready to give it his all. Why hadn’t he asked her long ago, she screamed in her own mind, angry and confused.

Again her phone rang, Zane’s deep voice demanding her to pick up. 

“Hey”, she answered, exasperated. She got into her car, warming up the engine.

“Yo, where you at?”

“At the cafe, why?” 

“I’m at your house.”

“Y-you are?”

Mel’s eyes darted back to the cafe entrance as Vic wandered out in a daze, head down. She felt awful and watched him with tearful eyes as he quickly made his way to his car. For a moment their eyes locked and they held on for a second. She tried to smile but he quickly tore himself away, shoving himself into the car and slamming the door, taking off without another look back. One down, four to go, she thought, feeling nauseous.

“Hello?” Zane’s voice brought her back to the present.

“Sorry, uh…okay, I’m coming home now.” She hung up, anticipating the worst and trying to recover from the first one. This wasn’t how she had planned it. She had wanted to tell Vic in private first because she had hoped he would support her decision and help make breaking the news easier. Had she known he was planning on proposing to her she wouldn’t have bothered. 

Pulling up in front of her house she saw Zane standing at the front door, hands in his pockets and watching her park the car. Mel took a deep breath. Zane was excitable, often times unpredictable, and had a habit of yelling when upset. She was afraid to tell him, but if he found out through someone else it would only be ten times worse. Stepping out of the car she walked up the drive way, joining him at the door.

“Finally”, he joked. 

“I’m surprised you’re here”, Mel said as she opened the door. They both inside, stamping the snow off their shoes on the door mat. 

“Yeah, I came to see if you need help packing.”

Mel cocked her head to the side, examining his words. 

“Help packing? Since when do you help me pack?” It was strange, but maybe she could work with this. 

“Yeah, well last year, who was it who ended up sharing my blankets because they forgot to pack their own?”

Thinly smiling, Mel raised her hand.

“And who was it who got her period and didn’t have any pads?”

Again, Mel raised her hand.

“And”, Zane went on. “Who drove almost an hour into town…through the freaking snow…to get you your feminine hygiene pads!”

“I get it”, Mel grunted, running her hands through her hair. 

“Okay then. So lets see them suitcases.” He went upstairs, Mel following, arms crossed tightly against her chest. 

Her room was a mess. Her drawers hung open, almost empty, her closet had only a few things hanging in it, and the vanity was a cluttered mess of toiletries. Zane examined the room, shaking his head.

“Girl, you need all the help you can get. We’re going to the lodge for two days, not two months.” 

On the bed was a large suitcase she had been working on since that morning. Another one, opened but full, was on the floor on the opposite end of the room. He went to the vanity, looking through everything.

“You wanna take all this stuff with you? I guess last year made you over prepared?” He chuckled, and then stopped abruptly as his eyes fell on her passport, which had a folded piece of paper tucked into its pages. He opened it, saw the words EgyptAir, and then looked back over at Mel, who but her lip, arms still crossed.

“The hell is this, Mel?” He held it up like a father who had discovered drugs stashed away in his daughters room.

“I wanted to tell you sooner”, she said. 

“What, that you’re leaving?” He looked back at the paper. “In two freaking days?! What the hell?” 

“I’m sorry. I can’t go to the lodge because of this.”

“Okay”, Zane put the passport done, pinching the bridge of his nose. “But you’re coming back.”

“No”, she said suddenly. “Well, eventually, but I plan on staying there for a long time, and-”

“You can’t do this to me, Mel!”

His outburst made her jump, her hands squeezing her arms tightly. Zane suddenly took a hold of her, looking into her eyes hard. Mel thought he might hit her, but he suddenly let go.

“All right then, I’m going with you. I don’t know why you’re going to Egypt, but if you plan on being away that long then I’m going.”

“Y-you don’t get it, Zane, I have to go alone.”

“Why? You were planning this, without telling anyone? Or am I the only one who doesn’t know?”

“I just told Vic this morning. And he proposed to me.”

“Vic proposed”, he started, eyes wide. Mel nodded, unsure as to why she even had to mention that part. Zane looked away, laughing to himself and shaking his head.

“Vic, my man”, he said to himself. “He was serious, huh? But too late.” 

Zane reached into his pocket and pulled out a box. The sight of it made Mel sick to her stomach and she prayed it was a joke. Holding it in his hands, Zane looked at it thoughtfully, smiling, then frowning, putting the box down on the vanity. Without a word he left and Mel heard the front door slam. She didn’t dare open the box. 

Again, her phone rang. Mel was tired, she didn’t think she could bear to tell anyone else of her plans. She felt sick, weary and regretful. No doubt Vic and Zane would tell Frank, Troy and Ashton. 

She waited for another ring, but nothing. Rather than checking, she busied herself with packing. After some time there was an angry knock at the door. With a sigh she heaved herself off the bed and made her way to the door. She had been expecting only one, but found herself confronted by the five heartbroken and angry faces of the five most beloved men in her life. They all came in, not waiting to be invited.

“Vic told us what happened”, Ashton blurted angrily. “You made plans to move to Egypt without telling any of us.”

“And”, Frank cut in, “You only bother to tell Zane and Vic.” 

Mel felt small. The five men she had always depended on, been a part of, were now confronting her, towering over her like angry giants, demanding an explanation. Troy, who was always quiet, stood silently beside Vic, who no longer looked dejected but fired up. And Zane stood in the rear, eyes downcast. Of course they were upset, they had every right to be. She had let them all down. 

“Enough”, Troy suddenly called out. He came forward, looking at Mel sadly, then back at the others. 

“We should tell her the truth, too.” 

“What?” Mel looked at Troy, confused, then back at the others. Suddenly, Troy pulled a small box from his pocket, opening it up. 

“You too”, Mel almost shrieked. 

Frank and Ashton both pulled out boxes, revealing the rings encased inside of them. Mel’s jaw dropped as she looked at the three men all standing with rings in front of her.

“I don’t get it. Why…all of you…no. No, this is wrong, it’s not supposed to be this way!” The tears started coming and she struggled to breathe in between the sobs. 

“We’re all in love with you, Mel”, Troy said seriously. “So we all planned to propose today and whoever won would go to the lodge with you. Alone.”

“You all suck”, she suddenly screamed angrily. “Here I am, beating myself up over being afraid to tell you about my plans, but you were all planning to propose to me like this. Like some freaking contest! Is that what I am to you all? A prize?”

“No”, Vic answered. “But try to understand, Mel. You’re one of the guys, but you’re also the woman we all love. For years we’ve all held ourselves back for the sake of friendship. But then we all came up with this stupid idea and figured whoever you chose was worthy and somehow, through the grace of adult maturity, we’d all manage to hold on to this friendship."

“Either that, or let it quietly crumble away and allow ourselves to grow apart”, Troy added. 

“But as it turns out”, Zane spoke up. “You were planning on leaving. So all we want to know is why. Why didn’t you tell us sooner?”

Mel bit her lips, trying to push the tears back inside her so she could speak. The five men waited quietly, patiently, huddling around her like a protective barrier. She felt safe within these walls, but she knew she had to leave them. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath.

“I took my shahaadah over a month ago.” Eyes still closed, she waited for a response, but they all remained silent, so she went on.

“I’m going to Egypt because I secretly became a Muslim and I realized that I need to be in an environment that is more Islamic. I wanted to tell you guys but I was afraid. I love you all so much, and it breaks my heart.”

"It breaks out hearts, too", she heard Frank say.

Opening her eyes she looked at the faces of the men standing around her and to her astonishment she found them all smiling. 

“So no Christmas, then”, Ashton joked, breaking the silence. The group laughed. Mel shook her head. 

“Okay”, he nodded. “I support you.”

“Me too”, said Frank.

“And me”, added Troy.

"Us too", Zane spoke for both himself and Vic.

"We love you, Mel", Vic said, kissing her on the forehead. The rest came and gave her the last hugs and kisses they would share with her, their hearts heavy with grief.

"Keep the rings", Frank suggested. "Incase you come back with a decision."

Teary eyed, Mel nodded. But she knew she could never choose just one because she loved them all.