Photo of Betrayal

I don’t understand. I just don’t understand. 

Carmen stared at the picture someone had taped to her gym locker. A woman sat at a fountain, another woman stood next to her, one arm wrapped around the sitting woman’s shoulders. They both beamed smiles at the camera. Carmen could tell by their body language that the women were comfortable and familiar with each other. 

How could she do that? Carmen thought to herself again. She sat there in her sports bra and yoga pants, sweat beading in her hair and neck. Why would Tiffany be spending time with her ex? Why hadn’t Tiffany told her she was talking to her ex again? 

It hurt. She felt pressure in her chest. It was clear that there was something going on. Why? Why! She slapped her hands down on her thighs and started beating out a pattern. She just couldn’t think. 

Carmen jumped up and twisted out the combination on her locker. She opened the locker and grabbed her clothes and bag, slammed the locker closed, shot the lock into place, and twirled the numbers. 

She quickly changed into her street clothes, shoved her dirty clothes into her gym bag, grabbed her work bag, and stopped. She stared at the photo lying on the bench. She picked up the photo and placed it into her work bag, then walked out. 

Amanda walked out of the showers and saw that Carmen was gone. She stopped and looked around.

“Carmen?” She called out. “Are you still here?” she went into the showers and checked – all the stalls were empty. 

“What the hell?” She turned around the empty room. 

Why would Carmen have left without saying goodbye, or letting her know? That wasn’t like her. 

She felt her heart leap into her chest as a thought jumped into her head: what if something had happened to Carmen’s grandma? She knew she was on the older side, and Carmen had told her that her grandma had a history of heart problems. She lunged for her locker, fumbled open the lock, and dug her key out of the bag. She pulled up her call log and pressed Carmen’s name. 

“Come on, come on, come on.” She urged. “Pick up.”

“Hello. You’re reached –” Amanda hung up. She dragged a hand through her hair and started to pace. Why wouldn’t she have answered? She needed to find out where Carmen was. She looked onto her “Find My” app and saw that Carmen was driving toward her house. She was driving the speed limit. That’s a good thing. Grandma must be okay.

She grabbed her clothes and dressed quickly. She had to get to Carmen’s quickly. Something was going on and she needed to know what. Carmen didn’t have the greatest history of mental health, and Amanda had promised herself after Carmen’s last episode that she would be there to support Carmen. 

Amanda pulled up to Carmen’s apartment complex and saw that Carmen’s car was in her parking space. She let out a huge sigh of relief. She had been tracking Carmen’s phone location until Carmen’s phone had died. Carmen was notorious for forgetting to charge her phone.

Amanda parked her car on the street across from the complex, grabbed her backpack off the front seat, shoved her phone into her back pocket, and jogged across the street. She entered the visitor’s code into the panel next to the door. 

“Come on, come on, come on.” She chanted, waiting for the door to buzz open. 

At the buzzer she pulled open the door, ran down the hallway, shoulder bumped the stairway door open, and bolted up the stairs. She burst through the second-floor door and jogged three doors down, dragging her keys out of her pocket. She opened the lock and shoved open the door.

Carmen sat on the floor next to the sliding glass door leading out to the patio. She had her work bag next to her and was holding the photo. She looked up as Amanda burst into the apartment. She stared up at her, blinked a couple of times. “What are you doing here?” Carmen asked, her face blank, her voice monotone. 

“Sweetheart.” Amanda said. “What’s going on?” She walked across the living room and crouched down in front of Carmen. Carmen looked at her and blinked.

“What?” She asked. Her eyes were glazed, unseeing.

Amanda reached out and pried the photo and saw Sharon’s arm wrapped around Tiffany’s shoulders. It was clear looking at the photo that there was romance and intimacy between the two women. And you could tell it was a recent photo because Tiffany was wearing the leather jacket Carmen had bought her this past Christmas. 

Amanda looked directly into Carmen’s eyes, understanding passing between the two with nothing being said. 

“Where’d you get this photo?” she asked.

“It was taped to my locker when I finished working out.” She said, staring at Amanda without blinking. “I don’t know.”

“Come on.” Amanda urged. “Let’s grab you a bottle of water and sit outside on the patio.” Amanda grabbed both of Carmen’s arms and pulled her to her feet.

She slid open the patio door and walked out with Carmen, who leaned onto her as though standing took too much energy.  Amanda sat Carmen down on a chair at the little bistro table. 

“I’m gonna go get you a bottle of water.” She told her. “Just sit there and don’t move, okay?” She asked.

“’Kay.” Carmen whispered, letting her head drop back against the chair. 

Amanda walked back into the apartment and strode into the kitchen. She opened the fridge and got out a couple bottles of water. As she shut the fridge door her eyes landed on a picture taped to the fridge door. It was a picture of her, Carmen, Tiffany, and Tiffany’s friend.  She pulled the picture off the fridge and brought it out onto the patio. She sat down across from Carmen and held out the water bottle. Carmen took it and held onto it, staring at the picture in Amanda’s hand. 

“I saw Tiffany’s best friend at the gym.” Amanda said. “I saw her walk out of the locker room and out the front door. She wasn’t in workout clothes, and she didn’t have a gym bag with her.” Amanda stared hard at the picture. “I remember it because I couldn’t place her.” She continued. “She looked familiar, but I didn’t know how I knew her.” She pointed at the picture. “That’s her. Isn’t that Tiffany’s friend?” She asked.

Carmen nodded. “Yes.” Her voice cracked as she spoke. She shook her head and opened the water bottle. She took a small sip, cleared her throat, and drank again, deeply. She drank half the contents, gasping out a breath as she put the bottle down. 

“Yes.” She repeated, her voice stronger, more controlled. “Her name is Michelle.”

Carmen looked at the picture on the table. She looked directly into Amanda’s eyes.

“She’s been friends with Tiff for a little over a year.” She said. “They met at work. Tiff was a good friend to Michelle when Michelle went through a bad break up.” 

Carmen inhaled deeply, held it, exhaled slowly. She repeated the meditative breath three times before continuing.

“She’d been engaged to a man, another coworker. She broke off their engagement three months before the wedding.” Carmen stared at the photo lying face down on the table. “he’d been cheating on her.”

Amanda inhaled sharply.

Carmen looked up into Amanda’s eyes.

“Yeah.” Carmen shook her head. “Turns out he’d been sleeping with his assistant. Everyone in the office found out about it. Michelle eventually transferred to another department. I think she works from home now.”

Carmen looked back at the photo. “Tiffany made a comment the other day, must’ve been a couple weeks ago now, about how Michelle has been distant lately, not wanting to meet up or go out.” Carmen flipped the photo right-side up. “Maybe the reason for the distance is because she knew that Tiff was cheating.”

Amanda nodded her head. “That would make sense.”

“Michelle and I exchanged numbers a few months ago. We’ve met a few times in person but haven’t really texted or called. I think I’ll text her now.” She stood and went into the apartment to grab her phone.

Amanda sat back in her chair and stared out at the courtyard, past Carmen’s patio. 

She was so mad. Carmen was genuinely one of the sweetest people she knew. She’d never fucking liked Tiffany in the first place, she thought. She scoffed at herself. That thought was so damn cliché. But it was true. Tiffany always seemed a bit – smug. Like she knew something you didn’t and reveled in that secret knowledge. She promised herself the next time she saw Tiffany – she broke off the thought as Carmen came back outside, phone in her hand, the charger still plugged in.

“She texted me.” Carmen blurted out., standing and staring at Amanda, phone held in her outstretched hand. 

“Who texted you?” Amanda demanded, grabbing the phone.

The message read: “Hey sweetheart! How was your workout? Want to go out for dinner tonight, or just come over?”

Another message came in with winky and kissy face emojis. 

Amanda looked up at Carmen. “What do you want to do?” She asked.

“I don’t know.”  Carmen said. “I don’t fucking know.”

She sat down and put her head in her hands.

“I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.” She repeated over and over, like a kind of mantra. “I don’t fucking know!” She shouted. 

Amanda jumped up, walked around the table, crouched down in front of Carmen, and wrapped her arms around her in a tight embrace.

“You don’t have to decide now.” Amanda said. “It’s 8am, she’s not going to expect a response right away.” She squeezed Carmen and leaned back. 

“Besides, you never have your damn phone with you anyway.”

Carmen let out a low, watery laugh. “That’s true.” She murmured. “It’s dying now anyway. It died on the way home. I plugged it in when I got home.” She wiped tears as they fell down her face. “I don’t know why. Force of habit, I guess.”

Amanda sat back. “Okay let’s go inside and plug it back in.” she said. “We can brainstorm what to do while I make you breakfast.”

The phone buzzed again. Both women looked down at the message notification from Michelle: “I’m sorry. I thought you ought to know.” 

Carmen and Amanda looked at each other.

“Okay.” Amanda breathed. “I guess now we know for sure that it was Michelle.” She leaned back on her heels “Why don’t we go inside, charge your phone, and figure out what to do after we eat?” She suggested.

“No.” Carmen shook her head. “No.” she repeated, more firmly. “I want to talk to her. Before I lose my nerve. I want to know what’s going on, how long it’s been going on.” 

“Let’s go and plug it into the charger” she said, “I’ll put the phone on speaker so you can hear while you cook breakfast.”

They walked into the apartment and straight into the kitchen. Carmen plugged the charger into the port and Amanda took out eggs, bacon, cheese, and avocado from the fridge. She grabbed seasonings from the pantry. She set it all down on the counter and looked at Carmen.

“You need me to say anything? Support you in any way?” She asked.

“You are supporting me.” Carmen smiled. “You know I can’t cook eggs to save my life.”

Amanda laughed and hugged Carmen.

“God’s truth.” She smiled and began organizing her area. “I’ve never known anyone who cooked as bad as you.”

“Hey!” Carmen protested. “I can make a mean bowl of cereal. And toast.” 

“You almost always manage to burn the toast.” Amanda replied.

“I like it well done.” Carmen sniffed.

“Psh.” Amanda scoffed. “Burned, not well done.” 

“Oh, go cook and let me make this call!”

Amanda turned away and smiled to herself. Carmen was no longer weepy but a little sassy. Good, she thought. Now let’s see what Michelle has to say. 

Turns out Michelle had very little to say. She didn’t answer the phone. Instead, she shot a text after letting the call go to voicemail. 

“Listen, I know you have questions, but I think it’s best you talk directly to Tiffany. I don’t want to get in the middle.”

“Well, fuck that bitch.” Amanda steamed. “That’s some bullshit.”

“Fuck!” she turned off the flame and moved the skillet to another burner. “She got me so mad I broke the damn yolk.”

Carmen laughed. “It’s okay.” She said. “It’ll break when you eat it anyway.” 

She smiled at Amanda. “Besides, I like my eggs runny.” 

Amanda plated the food and brought it over to the breakfast nook. She grabbed two iced coffees out of the fridge and sat on the stool next to Carmen’s. 

They sat there, eating their breakfast in silence, both thinking what to do next.

“She’s right.” Carmen broke the silence. She set her fork down and pushed the plate away. “I should hear it directly from Tiffany.”

She picked up her phone and texted: “Yeah. Let’s meet for dinner. 7:30 at Mike’s. See you there.” She hit send and set the phone back down.“I’m going to ask her in person. Where I can look her in the eyes and tell if she’s telling the truth.”

“Yeah.” Amanda looked directly into Carmen’s eyes. “Do you need me to be there?” She asked. “As emotional support?” She shrugged. “Or, you know, to hold her arms back while you beat the shit out of her.” 

Carmen laughed.

“Or so you can hold her while I beat her.” She continued, shrugged. “Either way works for me.” 

Carmen leaned her head against Amanda’s shoulder. “You know I love you, right?” She asked. 

Amanda wrapped her arm tightly around Carmen’s shoulder.

“Of course I do, sweetheart.” She murmured. “Of course I do.”

“Good.” Carmen responded. “Because I need you to stay home tonight.” She smiled. “In case I need you to post bail.” 

They laughed and sat there, leaning into each other, each thinking about what that night would bring. 

Carmen walked into Mike’s and saw Tiffany was seated at a booth in the back. She already had a glass of wine.

Carmen took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm her racing heart. Okay, she thought, let’s get this done. She walked straight to the table and slid into the booth across from Tiffany.

Tiffany looked up from her phone and smiled.

“Hey, baby.” She drawled. “Let me finish sending this text really quick, then I’ll put the phone away.”

“Who are you texting?” Carmen asked. “Could it be Sharon?”

Tiffany’s head snapped up. “What?” she asked, her eyes going wide and darting away. “What a stupid question.” She said and laughed

“I noticed you didn’t answer.” Carmen said. “I’ll take the lack of response as a yes.”

Tiffany looked at her, heat jumping into her cheeks. “What the hell are you talking about?” she demanded.

Carmen pulled the picture out of her bag and slammed it on the table, pushing it forward in front of Tiffany. “This.” She said. “This is what the hell I’m talking about.”

Tiffany stared down at the photo, the heat and color leaving her face.

“Wha –” She stuttered. “Where did you get this?” She asked.

“Don’t worry about where I got it.” Carmen said. “How long have you been cheating on me?” She demanded. 

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Tiffany licked her lips, her eyes not meeting Carmen’s.

“Yes, you do.” Carmen said. “And your refusal to even look at me right now tells me everything I need to know.”

“I can’t believe you.” She continued, teeth gritted in anger and pain. “I can’t believe you.” She repeated, this time louder, heads at nearby tables swiveled to see what the shouting was about.

“Lower your voice, Carmen.” Tiffany muttered through her own clenched teeth. She smiled tightly at the people nearest their table, causing them to look away. 

“I will not lower my voice.” Carmen said at the same volume.

“Carmen.” Tiffany said in a low, warning tone. “You’re embarrassing yourself. I suggest you stop and compose yourself.” 

“I’m not embarrassed.” Carmen responded, not shouting, but not bothering to keep her voice down. “You’re embarrassed.” She continued. “Oh, well. You should’ve thought about that before you cheated on me, then sit here and try and lie to my face.”

Carmen stood up, hooking her bag onto her shoulder. “I’ll save you from any more drama and leave.” She said. “Just one more thing, in case you hadn’t guessed it already.” She looked down at Tiffany, who had shrunk down in her seat, her cheeks once again flaring red in anger and embarrassment.

“We’re done. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t try to contact me.” She turned and walked out; her head held high.

“Yes, girl!” A woman called out.

“You tell her, honey.” Another woman said. “Don’t nobody need that.”

Carmen got into her car, turned it on, threw it into reverse, and left the parking lot. She grabbed her phone and sent out a quick message to Amanda: “It’s done. I ended it. You could see it all over her face. I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you.”

Amanda responded immediately: “Good for you! If you need me I’m there. Love you always.”

Carmen drove home. Tears pooled in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. This hurt. It hurt so bad. But she wasn’t going to let it break her. Maybe she should get away for a few days. Have a little vacation. Some distance would help. Some fun to help dull the pain. She’d plan it out with Amanda tomorrow. Maybe they’d invite Michelle. She’d done her a favor.