The Unwelcome Intruder

Submitted into Contest #260 in response to: Write a story with a big twist.... view prompt

2 comments

Suspense Thriller Fiction

“What was that?”

Allison’s head snaps from her monitor, the screen's glow casting eerie shadows across her face. She freezes, ears straining to detect any sound beyond the steady hum of her computer. The silence is oppressive, broken only by the rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall. The air becomes colder, prickling her skin as she listens intently. She has been alone in her one-story bungalow, or so she thought.

Did she hear something? Or was it the cats? It doesn’t sound like them, but sometimes they get into mischief. Kitty and Kat saunter into the office, their eyes glinting in the low light. They appear unfazed, so she figures it was just her imagination. Then suddenly, there it is again! Both felines' ears spring up as they look to the door.

Allison stares at the opening, a chill creeping up her spine. Kitty and Kat stay frozen like statues, their gaze unwavering. Silently, Allison reaches for her racket, her hand moving slowly, deliberately. Her long, manicured fingers slip over the black handle. It feels comforting in her grip, familiar and solid. How many times has she wielded this in defense? Dozens, if not more, especially in this seaside town.

She gingerly lifts her protector from the stand beside her desk, like a ninja drawing his sword from its sheath. She likes to have it close, just in case. There is no man here to take care of these kinds of things. She is a strong, independent woman who can handle anything independently. Without breaking her gaze from the threshold, she lifts the defense to hold it with both hands and stands.

The cats are far less intrigued than she is but jerk their heads toward the entryway again in unison. Allison advances, brandishing the guard like Luke Skywalker holding his lightsaber. She glides with deliberate steps, her bare feet silent against the cool hardwood floor. She approaches the door and peeks out.

Nothing but shadows. The corridor stretches before her, dim and foreboding, every shadow a potential threat. Allison steps out of her office, her pulse racing, her breaths becoming more rapid. Her companions follow, their movements ghostly in the dim light. Not looking where she is going, she bumps into the accent table, knocking over pictures as the felines bolt. “Shit,” she mutters, noticing a crack in one frame. She’ll pick it up later. She needs to continue.

When she enters the living room, her gaze darts around the dimly lit space, taking in every shadow and flicker of movement. The air is thick with the musty scent of old books mingled with the salty tang of the sea. Her grip tightens on the handle, its familiar weight a comfort in her hand. The silence is almost suffocating, broken only by the occasional creak of the house settling.

She pauses by the window, the moonlight casting long, menacing shadows across the furniture. Her ears strained to catch the slightest noise, the faintest hint of the intruder's location. Her breath fogs the window slightly as she listens, every muscle in her body taut.

A rustle comes from the kitchen, and she spins, heart pounding, ready for anything. Her mind races and adrenaline surges through her veins, sharpening her senses and heightening her focus. Her breaths come faster now, the sound resonating in the house's stillness.

The kitchen is a minefield of potential hiding spots. The granite countertops gleam faintly in the twilight, their surfaces cluttered with the remnants of her day: an open cookbook, a half-empty Starbucks cup, and a scattering of crumbs. A large island dominates the center of the room, its polished surface reflecting the dim glow of the overhead fixtures. The island is large enough to hide behind, and Allison's eyes flick to its edges, half-expecting to see a shadow move.

The stainless steel appliances stand like silent sentinels against the walls. The refrigerator hums softly, its sleek surface dotted with magnets and photographs, memories of happier times. Still wet from the last wash, the sink holds a few dishes, the leftovers of her unfinished meal. The faint smell of soap and leftover food mingles, adding to the kitchen’s unsettling quiet.

Her attention moves to the walk-in pantry, its door slightly ajar. The pantry is a cavernous space lined with meticulously organized jars and cans, cereal boxes, and flour bags. It is deep enough to conceal someone, and Allison cautiously approaches it, her guardian raised and poised.

A sudden movement behind the counter makes her heart skip a beat. Kat leaps out from behind the island, its tail puffed up in alarm. Allison lets out a shaky breath, her tension momentarily shattered. "Asshole," she whispers, watching the cat dart away, disappearing into the darkened corridor. She turns her attention back to the pantry.

She catches another glimpse, a fleeting shadow towards the back of the closet! It’s close. Too close.

She tightens her grip on the handle, her knuckles white with the force, ready to strike. She slowly opens the door with her foot in tiny, almost invisible increments. She dares not turn on the light for fear of having to release her weapon and enter unarmed.

A bead of sweat trickles down her temple, her breath coming in shallow gasps. Her body feels like a coiled spring, ready to snap. The air around her thickens, every sound magnified in the deafening silence. It comes at her! Right at her face. Squeezing her eyelids shut, she swings the weapon wildly around her, turning in place, knocking over cereal boxes and toppling cans of vegetables. The clatter and crash echo in the small space, a cacophony of chaos.

As she turns, she dares a peek. She is again facing the door, still brandishing her weapon frantically. Suddenly, there is a crackle, a sudden flash, and silence.

Allison stands there, breathing heavily, her pulse slowly returning to its normal rhythm. She stares at the fallen foe, triumph washing over her. She has done it. She has won. The house is quiet now, the overwhelming tension dissipating. She takes a deep breath, savoring the victory. After days of hunting, she has emerged victorious.

With a satisfied smile, she turns off the electronic fly swatter and heads back to her office, ready to finish her work peacefully.

July 25, 2024 00:41

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2 comments

Martin Ross
15:26 Aug 01, 2024

Love it! Vivid description, and the present tense style is ideal for the hunt. The description of Allison’s quarry’s death provides a What-the-Heck moment wondering if the foe is alien or supernatural, but the conclusion gave me an out-loud laugh. My wife goes into full Rambo-Elmer Fudd mode if a fly gets into the house. Great first Reedsy — have lots of fun, like I do!😊

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Allison Cellura
22:58 Aug 01, 2024

Thank you! It's semi-autobiographical 😄

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