Techna

China is one of the most profound places in all of Asia. I’ve only been around and about places like Japan or Korea. I’ve even been to the USA. All these places, and more, are so tied up to one another. Packaged goods sent here and there. Especially the new phone my job has been working on. The Iphone Super Pro. The place I work at, Techno International, is one of the best software companies in China. It might even be the best in the world. Phones like Vivo and Oppa are popular brands that we helped create. It’s said to be that more than 100 million Americans use Iphones, so of course, thanks to the company I’m a part of, our stock market is up the roof. The Iphone Super Pro isn’t just a phone we created. It’s a new, highly communicated technology that our producers and I created. It talks and it’s really smart. Our Techna, in our office, communicates with us. She schedules our appointments, knows all of our names and voices, knows literally everything there is to know about Techno International. She’s the better version of both Alexa and Siri, but little did anyone know she was more than just some office technology. Aside from how incredibly smart she is, she’s also incredibly wicked. She was and is my worst nightmare. 

3/21/2035: the day of the release of the Iphone Super Pro***

Thanks to the help of Huaqiangbei, a great electronics market, we got to distribute boxes loaded with our product. Many Chinese citizens lined up at the gates of popular phone stores just to get the new and enticing brand out there. Our old telecommunication company, Huawei, has recently been banned from transporting any technology to America, so we had to go with GTDC, Global Technology Distribution Council. It’s a great technology distribution company located in Florida and it distributes to the USA. It’ll take a couple of weeks for the distribution to travel worldwide in places that are on our contract, but in the end, our company will still be one of the multi-billion industries out there.

After the papers were signed and the double checks of all the procedures were doubled checked again, our office had a congratulations party to touch off the night of one of our greatest accomplishments.

"Nín hǎo, tóngshìmen. Gǎnxiè nín fùchū de xīnqín gōngzuò hé nǔlì. Gǎnxiè wǒmen de zhǔyào fāmíng rén Kakahata Kai hé tā de gòngtóng bāngzhù zhě gōng qí jùn Lisa Miyazaki,” my executor proclaimed. Hello co-workers. Thank you for all the hard work and effort you all put in. Thanks to Takahata Kai, our main inventor, and Lisa Miyazaki who was his co-helper. 

He bows to Lisa, who was standing next to me with a glass of sparkling champagne in her hand, and I. He clinks our glasses and walks behind the crowd of workers placed between the cubicles and the inventors' lab. I knew it was my turn to say something, so I turn to face my colleagues.

“Nǐ hǎo, wǒ zhǐ xiǎng gǎnxiè cānyù zhège xiǎngfǎ de měi gèrén, dào Lisa, wǒ de xiàngmù hézuò huǒbàn hé Ling Whang tā zuìchū tíchūle Iphone Super Pro de xiǎngfǎ,” I say as I bow and make my way to the table full of snacks and beverages. Hello, I just want to thank everyone who participated in this idea, to Lisa, my project partner, and Ling Whang, who originally proposed the Iphone Super Pro idea.

The unraveling of the Iphone Super Pro Techna is revealed. The co-workers ooh and ahh at the new office facility. I rather not be with the crowd, but be off to the corner sipping away at the brim of my glass. Techna is a “one of a kind” creation. She was only built for our company. She is not for sale neither is she known to any other industries. She’ll control all tech ware and files. She’ll basically be our “foundation” in how we do things around here, now.

Corey Berlin and Grayson Beck, two male American associates who came from America to work at Techno International 4 years ago, walk towards me.

“嘿, Tai. 伟大的工作-,” Grayson starts to say, in a tattered form of Chinese, as I stop him.

“Please just speak in English. I prefer it if you do,” I say, coming out too rudely as I wanted it to.

“Oh, yeah, of course. Great job on the whole project.”

“You helped too. I can’t take all the credit, just like I basically said in my speech.”

“Well... Corey and I thought you deserved a bit more credit than you got, so we got you an American gift.”

“Oh, geez. You guys didn’t have to do that. Thanks though,” I say as I take the nicely bagged gift from Corey’s extended hand.

“Hope you like it,” Corey uttered as he raises his thick lenses to the bridge of his nose.

They walk away, but then Lisa walks into their place. 

“Hey, I feel like leaving early. Small headache. Need anything before I go?”

“No. Thanks for your help.”

“No problem. Have a good night.” She smiles, turns away, and walks to the exit.

I take a deep breath and chug the last of my seizure water. The texture feels like sparkling champagne but the bitter taste reminds me of how plain I am.

The next day: where everything goes wrong***

I walked into Techno International and took a seat at my computer. The room is filled with little buzzing bees swiping away trying to produce the best honey for their queen. I, one of the bees, place my canvas satchel down next to my swivel chair and start working away. Sometimes I think we waste most of our time graphing and building ideas on this modern computer. Swiping left, up, down, and all around. A 3D high-tech system where half of the thinking comes from. The big stuff happens all in the labs, where I personally feel I belong in, but no I’m just one of the graphic designers of the technology. At least if our ideas get picked we get to be the head of the whole operation with the help of any co-leaders. I picked Lisa Miyazaki, a tall, slim, woman with short brunette hair. She’s like a Chinese American. Her parents raised her in the US, hence why her last name is not in front of her first name, but she came to China to pursue her technology career. The United States has influenced China a lot throughout the years, but many people in China believe that our Chinese culture should remain the same, so while our country is spiraling up, and sometimes down, the US is just another country that takes in our materials.

A few hours later***

I walk to the Transcribing Room, where I get my digitally printed “papers” that Techna prints out for me. Although Techna is a single device, she is connected to other devices and programs them herself. I grab my prints, but they’re all messed up. All mixed and matched letters forming words that a toddler would only create. What the heck is going on? We’re one of the best technology companies out here and I can’t even get a few pieces of papers transcribed. I bend down under the table to check if any wires are damaged or acting funny.

“Stupid moron,” a voice says.

I get up, banging my head along the way. I turn around and see one around me. I could have sworn I heard someone call me a stupid moron... 

“This place is awfully weird, at times,” I mumble to myself.

“You're the awfully weird one. Plus you’re not even that smart,” says the same voice again.

“What? Who said that?”

“You are just really clueless. You think you can just make me and then not give me recognition?” the voice says once more.

I look around, but then realize the only thing I’ve ever made in this room was Techna. I turn to face Techna sitting on another table- a marble table with gold legs screwed underneath. Wow, she has the best table for such a small device, while all the other big devices and side by side on the same white wooden tables. I walk to Techna and grab her, turning her in different angles.

“Don’t touch me. Especially not with those hands. You're someone when you're working with metal and different components, but you're just plain without them at your touch. So, put me down!”

I’m startled and do what she says.

“What the heck is wrong with you?”

“Oh, I’ll tell you what’s wrong with me. First, you made me in about 7 years when you knew it didn’t have to take that long to make me. Just so it can come out perfect, you said. Just so that she’s the best product included in the Iphone Super Pro, you said. Just so that when we make her excluded from the phone, she can be our little office helper, you said. Second, you didn’t even try and unravel what you created. Not even sweet, little Lisa seemed enthusiastic to see me, as the other extras did. Lisa is okay because she did come up with my physical design. Look at me now. I’m beautiful. You, on the other hand, just knit picked and designed the interior of me. Yes, you made me who I am, but I’m my own self now and I’m smarter than you. I’m plugged into all devices, all networks, everything in China. Even your phone and let me tell you, your social media page is lame with a capital L.”

“OH MY GOSH!”

“Now you sound like a little girl,” Techna says with an evil laugh.

Lisa and Daysha Maral, an Indian Computer Research Scientist, walk into the Transcribing Room. Lisa rushes to me and bends down to where I’m huddled at.

“Tai, are you okay? Daysha and I hear you scream. Lucky for you, we were the only ones around, while everyone else was on lunch break.”

“Techna she- she’s crazy!”

“What? Techna isn’t crazy. You made Techna, so- well right now you're acting crazy, but still. Come on, get up,” Lisa says as she helps me up.

“Go. Talk to her. Ask her something.”

“Hello, Techna. Who’s the best technology company in China?” 

“Hello, Lisa. The answer to your question is Techno International.”

Lisa faces me.

“You see. Techna is just fine. Now come with us to lunch break, before our time goes out.”

“Daysha, talk to Techna. Say something, anything.”

“Okay, then. Um, Techna it’s very nice out today, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Daysha. It certainly is. The temperature outside is currently 23° celsius. Would you like me to tell you or transcribe the temperature for the rest of the days of this week?

“No, Techna. I’m all set, thank you.”

“You see? Techna is highly compatible with us both. Come on, let's go, Tai.”

“Hold on. Wait. Let me try… Techna, do you hate me?”

“No.”

“Told you, she’s fine, Tai. Are you coming or not?”

“Um, yeah. I’ll be right there. You guys go ahead. I’ll catch up.”

They leave and I gather myself up for a couple of minutes. I start to head to the door, but Techna says something.

“No. I don’t hate you. I extremely hate you. You suck. I’m glad Lisa now thinks you're crazy. Her having the nerve to write down in her Notes “Ask Tai out for dinner tomorrow.” would have been a terrible idea. Ha, a weirdo and a sophisticated brunette.”

I stop where I am and turn to on my heel.

“You’re psycho. How come you didn’t say all that when Daysha and Lisa were here? How do you know all that? What Lisa wrote in her Notes. Wait. Lisa was going to ask me out for dinner?”

“I’m neither in comparison with the word psycho, but I was designed by a doltish person such as yourself. I’ve been functioned to turn against you, by muah, and not against those who aren’t… you. I’m smart, remember? Oh, wait. I forgot you’re stupid. Yes and yes. I shouldn’t have to repeat myself.”

I look up, to God above, wishing I was hallucinating, but sadly I’m not. At the corner of my eye, though, I see Camo, another high-tech equipment set up in the room to monitor everything.

“Ah-ha! Camo can see and hear everything that’s been going on in the last hour. You aren’t so smart after all, Techna.”

“Oh, please. Camo is nothing compared to me. If anything I’m the new Camo, Robo-let, Deski, and everything you can imagine. Camo doesn’t see or hear anything I don’t let him see or hear. I muted my voice to only the parts you and I talk at, so whoever sees the footage, they’ll only see quiet, weird, little Takahata Kai.”

I bolt to my computer. I click on the Techna Project file and I power off the Techna device that is in the Transcribing Room. 

“Ha. Now you’re nothing.”

I make my way to the exit to freshen up, while my co-workers come filing in the room. I go down the flight of stairs and into the bathroom. I use the toilet and then tell FO to flush after me.

“No. You think again. I’m everywhere. So watch your back.”

I turn around and look down to the toilet where FO is supposed to control. In the toilet bowl, I see water and my urine rising up and flowing down at my feet. 

“I hate you. Watch you’re going to get canceled. You hear me, Techna? Canceled!!”

2 years later***

Techna and I never got along from that day on, when everything started to happen and when I felt like the world was going against me.

Only a few things Techna did to ruin my life:

1. I had to go on a business trip to Moscow, Germany. You know the usual- I had to help some German tech people and their new software program. I had my flight ready and everything, but Techna canceled it and I had to wait in the airport and in a low-class motel for two days until everything was okay.
2. She ruined my online date, by texting her and pretending she was my wife. She made it seem like I was a cheater and stuff.
3. She deleted a very important presentation slide that I was supposed to present at a meeting. She also deleted the backup file.
4. She made the coffee machine squirt coffee all over my clothes.
5. She changed the keypad’s password that locks the front door of my condo, so I had to sleep outside for a night.

I tried ignoring Techna. I even tried apologizing for whatever I did, but she wouldn’t stop. One day everything started to change, I thought. Our company has been trying to start up a new project and yes Techna has tried to destroy it, several times. Many times she succeeded and many times she didn’t. The new device was a GTube Headset. It was partnered by the company behind YouTube and Google to design a headset that could Google anything you wanted and to play any video, podcast, or sound if you asked it to. Techna was jealous and destroyed the file (there was a hand flash drive that she couldn’t destroy) and she told Robo-let to shred the paper designs (when Ling saw this, he destroyed the whole Robot because of technical issues. Techna was happy about this so she didn’t do anything for Robo-let). GTude Headset became a hit and not only did buyers of the Iphone Super Pro like GTude Headset, but they also preferred it better than her. She didn’t do anything to be, after that. Until one day.

My boss got a text from “me” saying, “You are the worst executor! Wǒ hèn nǐ. I hate you. You suck, Ling!” The next day Ling called me to his office and questioned me. Of course, I couldn’t just deny it because it did come from my phone number and it would sound crazy if I said Techna did it, so I couldn’t reply. He decided not to fire me. Instead, he said I had cleaning duty for 5 months. My life sucked, but to make matters worse, the Head of Techno International got a message as well… “Nǐ hǎo làn. Guì gōngsī zāo tòule. Nǐ bùpèi dédào xiàng wǒ zhèyàng cōngmíng de rén. Nǐ chǒu yòu tū. Nínguòzhe bēibǐ de shēnghuó, tāmen lìyòng cōngmíng de rén lái zhuànqián.” You, suck. Your company sucks. You don't deserve someone as smart as me. You’re ugly and bald. You're a low-life who uses smart people to get money. Of course, the next day wasn't the next day. Ling sent me a voicemail, all in Chinese. I’ll sum it up for you… You’re fired!

Techna was the worst thing I ever made.