Love Confession

  “I need to tell you something,” Cecelia said, and had already felt as though she were burning. She lifted a shaky hand to her smoothie, the drink perspiration making it hard to grip in her already damp hands. As she sipped and worked up the courage to finish what she had started, Parker grew more fidgety with every moment that passed. He waited in the silence, which only made it more difficult to work up her nerve. They had an amazing friendship and got along easily for the past year that they’ve known each other, but now the air in the coffeehouse around them was practically humid with awkwardness. During this time, they’d done everything together, from volunteering at the library, to church, to parties, and just hanging out together every chance they got. She’d developed a crush on him almost immediately, but with still being in high school and never having a boyfriend, she was satisfied with leaving things the way they were. This past summer, however, her friends had encouraged her to confess her feelings. “You don’t have to ask him out,” Sierra had said. “You just have to tell him how you feel.” After being reassured for the millionth time by her friends that he returned her feelings, she had agreed to confess. Now that she was faced with it, her entire being seemed to shake in fear and dread. Second guessing herself, her thoughts were racing with what could happen if he rejected her. What if she lost her best friend? What did she even want out of it? Even though she had agreed to it with the resolution to not expect to start dating, deep down she still hoped that’s what the outcome would be. She snapped back to reality, setting her drink down. She opened her mouth to speak, but Parker beat her to it. “I know what you’re going to say,” he said, refusing to meet her eyes. “Don’t—”

“I have to,” she interrupted. She was surprised for a moment by her bravado, especially with his warning, but she pressed on. There was no way she was going to go this far and just leave it. “I-I like…” Cecelia squeezed her eyes shut and dropped her voice to a near whisper. “I like you.” She opened her eyes, but still didn’t look at him. “I mean, I like-like you. And you don’t have to say you like me, too, and things don’t have to change…” she rambled on, not pausing for breath. They went on like this for a while, with her stumbling through messy explanations and Parker glancing around at anything but her. Finally, she forced herself to stop. For a second, the air between them was filled with nothing more than the sound of her winded breath and the bustling coffeeshop around them. Her emotions were too scattered to be able to read his expression and had no clue what he was thinking. Parker cleared his throat. Was his face red, or was that just her hopeful imagination? “I understand. Don’t worry, I won’t let this affect our friendship.” It took her a moment to let that sink in. First, she felt an icy stab in her gut. Then, she struggled to draw breath. She was working through forcing herself to breath when his phone buzzed. He reached for it, sighing a little. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but my ride’s here.” They rose to their feet and he opened his arms for a hug, how they usually parted ways. As they stood in their uncomfortable embrace, she fought back tears as he said, “We’ll be fine, I won’t let this become awkward.” She nodded numbly at the lie as they pulled apart. Up until now, none of their hugs had been so difficult. Had she just ruined her first real friendship? With a final wave goodbye, he left, leaving her to wonder if she’d ever get to truly be his friend again.

Cecelia stared at the text she received from Parker. It had been two days since she had told him her feelings, and while they had talked a little since, their interactions had been brief to say the least. Now, she was dumbfounded by his most recent message. You can tell people we’re dating if you want to. A wave of emotions rolled through her as she tried to process this. Confusion, then excitement, then anger… What on earth was he thinking? She texted him back. Are we? There, now it was back in his corner. This boy had some explaining to do whether the answer was yes or no. His response was immediate. Do you want to? She almost swore. Damn his non-confrontational self. The next two hours was filled with nothing but texting back and forth, negotiating the terms of their possible relationship. Boundaries, goals, and whatever else was a remote concern. Oddly enough, things started to feel almost normal again. Being overly analytical was a specialty of theirs, and it felt good to talk to him like this again. Even if the subject at hand was tense and embarrassing. Finally, they agreed to date for a week and reassess their relationship after. While it was a tentative and weird start, her heart fluttered with the idea that she and Parker were finally dating. After a year of hinting and subtle (otherwise known to others as nonexistent) flirting, she had finally caught his attention.

…

Hello! This is a story about me and my (now) fiancé, Parker. This was our humble beginning four years ago. While he may seem to be a reserved (and almost rude) love interest, this was filtered through my perspective at the time. In reality he was incredibly embarrassed and maybe even more scared than I was, and he squirms every time I tease him by reminding him of his “you can tell people we’re dating if you want to” text. Overall, we’re very much in love, and he was actually the first to tell me he loved me after only a week of dating. We’re so excited for our wedding this July 2021!