An Old Man's Secret

It was raining that afternoon, it had been since the morning, as a result, the ground outside the farmhouse was wet and muddy, the wind blowing heavily severely crashed into the cornfields giving out a mighty roar. weather reports had stated that the rain would continue on till the morning of the next day but in that rural town this was no shocking news, the citizens had gotten used to the erratic weather along with the isolation and the bad beer made by the only brewery in miles, these were the town's specialties amongst other things. The farmhouse that apart from its recently deceased owner had never seen another person within its walls for over a decade now saw itself harboring six people and was after a long time filled with chatter mostly of the redundant kind, the kind that the previous owner had despised and had once chased a neighbor for three blocks with a shotgun over. The atmosphere within the house was heavy, maybe it was due to the funeral that had taken place an hour ago, or maybe it was just the thought of being stuck in this backward town for another day that was driving the inhabitants insane."Why?....why did the old man want to be buried in this hellhole?..... and why were we stupid enough to drive three hours only to get stuck in this stupid house?" exclaimed Matthew, "couldn't we have just not gone through with the crazy bastard's wish and just had him buried in a local cemetery in the city.......like a bunch of normal people?, being back in this house doesn't help in any way!", the fifty-year-old lawyer's face was almost red by the end of the sentence, "Calm down dear, we do not want another stroke on our hands now do we? just remember what the doctor asked you to do if you ever got too angry again.", stated Martha in her usual calm, disarming demeanor."Matt, cmon now, don't make a fool of yourself in front of my kids, besides were already stuck in dads place till tomorrow, there's no need for any senseless ranting now," said Clive placing a hand on his brother's shoulder."Haha, don't the ranting and the pouty face were pretty funny besides don't worry about it dad, if not anything, uncle Matts screaming will probably at least drown out this awful music," said the highschooler playfully smiling at his uncle who it seemed was about to kill him, "Don't be annoying Mark, your father and uncle are talking, and this music is from your grandfather's collection if you don't like it you are welcome to go outside," said Joan, trying to save her son from his uncle's murderous gaze, "besides if its Iinconvenientnt here why don you go and get your sister here, that girl has been rummaging through the junk in the attic for an hour now", she continued."Well as much as I am enjoying this conversation, I think I am going to go scream into a pillow before I blow a blood vessel," said Matt and walked upstairs towards the bedroom. A subtle sense of mutual peace seemed to fill the room when suddenly a twenty-year-old woman carrying a dusty large brown box walked into the room, she looked around trying to make sense of the atmosphere in the room for a moment but upon failing to decipher it soon gave up, she then looked at Clive and said, "Dad, grandpa has some pretty cool stuff hid up there, I found a lot of rare books and some jewelry among other things, you should take a look through this stuff.", she finished." Thanks a lot, Mary!", said Clive taking the box from her hand placed it on the table and then started going through it excitedly. Joan, seeming displeased with his childishness said, "Clive isn't it about time we start reading the documents?", Clive never one to stand up to his wife quietly went upstairs to call his brother.

About ten minutes later the entire family was gathered in the living room, Clive and Matt sat directly in front of everyone, all eyes were fixed on the thick brown folder that was sitting on the table in anticipation, Clive took the folder in his hand and started, "Well now that all of us are here, we will go through this folder as dad had instructed and with any luck, we'll all be a bit better off by lunchtime, " Mary and Mark chuckled but the other three just looked embarrassed and averted their gaze. Mark started opening the folder and placed his hand inside and pulled out a single sheet of paper along with what looked like a journal. The family seemed a bit perplexed by the lack of professional documents and hurriedly moved from their places trying to take a peek at the sheet, Clive almost instinctively pulled it towards himself and started reading it as if to prevent a stampede, "To my sons and their families, I can currently illegal that you must be confused by the lack of a legal stamp on this paper but I ask all of you to bear with me and continue reading. I know that I have made several mistakes in the past that turned you away from me and I have chosen to remain stubborn and live in isolation instead of making any attempts at reconciliation, but the contents of the journal with a bookmark within accompanied by this letter are something that the two of you deserve to know. unfortunately, I have never been able to save enough money to be able to hand it onto you so apart from this journal and the rundown house I can offer you nothing more, I hope that you can forgive me for that and even if you can not I still urge you to read the journal. Dad."

"Hmph, shouldn't have expected any more from the old man," said Matt, "we were stupid to think that he would have ever helped us in any way or at least tried to make up for his mistake. This was just an enormous waste of time !" he exclaimed. "Matt! no need to bring up the past now lets just read the damn journal and get him out of our lives," snarled Clive.

Joan with a disappointed look and an almost immediate lack of enthusiasm for what was about to follow tried to get up but found her self pulled down by Martha's hand who gave her a look crude enough to keep her in her seat. Matt slumped back into his place with a soul, Mary and Mark had now lost complete interest in the entire matter and would have gotten out of the room immediately if not for their aunt's glance. With a look of exhaustion and contempt on his face Clive started reading the journal,"21st July 1967........this is from thirty years ago," he paused and looked at his brother," from when we left this town," Matt seemed perplexed, his attention now back to the journal he waited for his brother to continue. Clive started reading the bookmarked page," Today early morning my sons left home and currently I can feel nothing but anger towards them, they left without saying anything even after everything we've been through in the last few weeks. I know that I should not be feeling this way, after all, I have done the unacceptable to them, I have killed their mother." The room was completely silent Matt could not look up and Joan instinctively held the hands of her children, Clive continued reading," my wife Darla along with my kids have been my everything since I can remember, for the longest time I have enjoyed our isolated life in this small town but it seems that my vision isn't enough for my sons and what happened has only strengthened their resolve to leave. A month ago the boys had just gotten into a fight with me, saying that they had found a job in the city through a fried and they were going to leave by the end of the year I have always been against the idea of losing my family but my wife had convinced me over time that the boys' ambitions are too large for this town and believing this I agreed to her proposal to go look for a home for all of us in the city, I was ready to leave everything that I had in this town to live together with them. My wife was the most radiant and loving person that I have ever come across, she would always put others need in front of her own which made others love her but I think this kept her from doing what she wanted to do and I did not help her in this regard forcing my own needs onto her, never asking her own. Perhaps that was the reason why she took solace in an old hobby and started gambling in settlements

away from home, most afternoons when the kids and I were working the farm she would leave under false pretenses and would always come back several hours later seeming a lot more cheerful, ready to attend to her duties as a wife and mother. This continued on for years before I finally found out her secret, but it was too late, last Thursday when the boys were working the farm a group of local loansharks came to the farm demanding repayment from me, my wife who was next to me seemed almost pale and that was when I learned her secret and the way she had financed her hobby. The men kept demanding money and in trying to diffuse the situation I moved forward calming them down only to get hit in the face with the butt of a gun by a young impulsive hoodlum, I fell to the ground, it was just a minor injury but it sent Darla into a fit and she tried to wrestle the gun away from him, the boy in his state of panic..... pulled the trigger."Clive stopped reading, his hands were trembling and he felt as though he was going to fall down any moment, Mary's eyes were watery at this point, no one dared to say another word, Clive trying desperately to compose himself continued reading again, "That evening when the police asked what happened in front of my children, I couldn't say it...... I couldn't say the truth and destroy Darla's wonderful memory in the eyes of the town and most importantly my sons. I don't mind taking the blame and saying it was my addiction that got her killed and that she protected me till her last moments, and at this point Iknow I can not blame my sons for leaving but I am a weak man, I always have been and with my greatest source of strength gone, I do not know how I will be able to remain sane, living alone in this haunted house. I cannot bear the weight of this secret already I know that the reality of what happened is something that I can never reveal to anyone that's why for the sake of my own sanity I am writing this down and even though I know that this is a secret no one should ever know I hope that one day my sons will finally learn the truth and ill be able to find peace at last."

This was too much for Clive, he broke down falling to his knees and crying, "This...this can't be! that's not what happened! Why didn't he...? why?....", cried out Matt but he couldn't find the right words...or any words. Mary and Martha had already been bawling for a while and Mark along with Joan were desperately trying to maintain their composure. That night the entire family celebrated the memory of the old man and his wife, they revealed their greatest secrets to each other, for that is what the old man would have wanted.