Willy and the Aliens

My dog is generally a worthless mutt, and powerful lazy, but that particular night, far on the yonderest hill of my shabby little farm, he found himself some aliens. I'd heard him yapping and carrying on so I fetched my rifle and drove my old truck up the hill. It's a hill dips into a little bit of valley, and my truck isn't real good on its best day, but I stayed the incline to the top and got out to have a closer look. I've about 100 acres of land that never grew much, and that never saw much excitement other than the changing of the seasons. The door slamming seemed to echo for miles; it sound unnatural loud. I inched out, willing my eyes to adjust themselves to he darkness. The stars were doing their best to give light, but it was terrible dark, so I followed the sounds of the mutt, who was no longer barking but kinda wimpering real friendly like. I got close and sure enough, there were aliens right there in my little valley, hid away from the neighbors, and seen only by me....and the mutt.

Now some folks are always clammering about aliens, you know? They want to see them, discover them, trouble them. Me, I don't keep with all that fuss. I got out of the truck and approached them real friendly like. If you meet an alien in a dark valley, or anywhere for that matter, friendly is something real appealing.

And it helps to have a mutt like my mutt. I have to thank the mutt for kind of being my welcoming committee--World leaders would do well to have this mutt of mine..... Of course them not speaking my language, I did my best hand signals to let them know, as they say, "I come in peace". I did this a long time till I felt like a windmill waving my arms around, but eventually they seemed to get it and

sure enough, we begin to understand one another, them picking right up on my hand talking. We had a fine time of it, and afore you knew it we'd worked out some fine communicating.

I liked my aliens right off. Why, there was a daddy and a mamma alien, and a couple of young 'un aliens that were mighty cute. They seemed genuinely taken with the my mutt of a dog, and I almost had a mind to leave him there.

As I drove back down the hill, it occurred to me real strong like that I better keep them secret, and for awhile I did.

Next day, I began to figure they might be hungry, but how was I supposed to know what an alien would eat? Come to find out, they ate all of what I brought, were mighty happy to get it.

As the days and weeks went by, we kinda graduated from hand talk to learning bits of one anothers lingo, to where I was feeling pretty proud of myself.

Now you might think it'd be an easy thing to keep such a matter as this secret, but let me tell you that a nosy neighbor can really unravel your plans.

Down my road lives an old coot who pulled into my yard and got right to the point.

"Willy" he says," what you making so many trips up that hill of yers for?"

I spit some chew and looked at him right squarely.

"What's it to you"? 

He gentled down a bit.

"Nuthing" he says. Just curious".

I hemmed and hawed for a spell. If I told him, what would he do? Maybe he would meet my aliens....decide to help....

Of a sudden, I decided to let him in on the secret. Just like that.

And just like that, you can count that decision as high on the long list of dumb things I've done in my life.

One look at him and I pretty much knew what he'd do. An hour later I had a Deputy Sheriff poking around my place.

"Help you, Sheriff"? I asked casually.

"You got something here you're hiding"? he asked point blank.

Well, I deflected him for awhile, and I tried to be all legal like and asked him if he had a warrant. That slowed him a little and he finally left, but I knew he'd be back and try to take my aliens away.

I went up the hill and told them, and us being practically family like we were, we showed some sorry faces.

Now, I have a sister named Lynda who is interested in aliens, and when I left there I decided to call her. I paid the price of listening to her blabber on about this and that, and when she was finally talked out, I told her my conundrum.

For once, and I mean a rare once, she was quiet. Real quiet. She started a blabbering again. She had connections, she had a plan.....

It was no surprise to see the deputy cruising down the road at dusk. Course I called my sister, for that was in the plan, then went out and commenced to watch.

That deputy steered right onto my property, following the trail I had made with my truck. Yep, I figured, he must have got a warrant.

I swung my rifle over my shoulder, and headed out on foot, keeping an eye on the cruiser, which was making pretty slow progress.

By now it was getting dark, so when I was hid behind a sizable rock, I took careful aim and Boom!

I plugged his back tire clean thru and it was flat as a pancake. I chuckled as he got out with a "what"! look on his face.

I hurried up over the hill, and there was Lynda, good as her word. She was packing my aliens up real quick and efficient like.

Now the stars were out, and I felt alone and sad all at once, for I was real sorry to see them leave. I went around and said goodbye to them all, lastly I came to the papa alien. We were both a bit misty eyed, and I put my hand out in friendship. He took it and smiled.

"Gracias Guillermo. Muchas gracias por todo".

I answered back in my best Spanish.

"Dee nada, Jose. Dee nada".