Shirley's Re-Re-Reawakening

Shirley pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, “Now you kids don’t get hurt now!” She’d watch her grandchildren run off into the park. She would open her hardcover version of Red, White, And Royal Blue, plopping onto the wooden bench. “Banana…” The toddler next to her would mumble. “Yes sweetie-pie?” She’d say in a baby-voice, playing with his hands slightly. The baby would go to bite at her hand softly, then drooling on his stroller. “Oh you are so sweet Micah!” “Banana…” Shirley would lean in, then feeling a light tap on her shoulder. “Mee maw, Colin fell off them swings over there!” Her granddaughter would look over, pointing. 

“Colin, are you okay sweetie?” Shirley would speed walk over, as that was her fastest walk. “Mee maw!” He would yell, holding his openly wounded knee. “Mee maw I’m gonna die! Help me!” Colin would whine, sobbing uncontrollably. “Come on sweetie, you won’t die. I’ll give you Mee maw’s special health kisses okay? I just have to make sure I won’t get sick while I do it.” She’d pull out sanitary wipes, ripping the packet open and cleaning his knee. “MEE MAW THAT HURTS!” Colin would wail, swaying around trying to escape. “Calm down sweetie, not anymore.” Shirley would put a band-aid on his knee, kissing it lightly. “There sweetie, now let’s go home.” “But I still have to do the monkey bars.”

Shirley would sigh, getting up and grabbing Colin’s hand, “I’ll get you a popsicle if you come home!” “Okay Meemaw!” Colin would smile happily, walking as if he didn’t skin his knee. “I want a cherry one!” He would swing his arms, skipping. “Well, you have that TRASH flavor. I’m gonna have grape!” The eight year-old girl exclaimed, walking proudly. “Jolene, nobody likes grape besides you. You pretend to like it so you’re different.” The boy spit back, putting his hands on his hips, not noticing the man standing behind him. “Kids, run!” Shirley gave the stroller to Jolene, running up to the man behind Colin.

“You leave my grandson alone!” She’d take her purse, hitting him across the face. “Woah, grandma got hands!” The masked man yelped, moving his head out of the way for the next hit. “And legs!” She’d kick him where it hurts, watching him collapse. “Now leave us alone!” She’d turn back to her grandchildren. “Woah, Mee Maw has superpowers! Purse Woman!” The children would exclaim, amazed by Shirley. “I guess over a decade of karate pays off!” Shirley smiled, grabbing the stroller. “Don’t let me forget to write a police report!”  “What’s a decade?” Colin looked puzzled. “You idiot- it’s five years!” Colin and Jolene bickered over and over, about to burst into crying. “You meanie!” Colin teared up, wiping his eyes. “It’s just the facts!” She’d run into the house as they walked up to the driveway. 

Shirley would start to set Micah to sleep, then hearing a yell from the living room. “Mee maw- is this you?” Jolene would hold up a picture frame, showing a teenage girl and young Elvis Presley. Shirley would imp up behind her grand daughter, “Well yes sweetie! I thought I told you about me becoming friends with Elvis?” “No! Well…you might have. I don’t always pay attention to your stories…” Jolene would avert her eyes, setting the frame back down. 

Shirley laughed, “Well sweetie, you can learn some pretty bizarre things if you listen to my stories!” Jolene perked up, “Have you gone to the moon?” “Not exactly, but I was in person for the moon landing! That was fun, I met a lot of nice men–and hot men too!” Shirley laughed, patting Jolene’s head. 

“Wait, did you do anything with cartoons?” Colin popped up from his chair, popsicle juice all around his mouth. Jolene scoffed, “Mee Maw probably didn’t, that’s only for celebrities!” “Well, I actually almost voiced Ms.Puff, but I was beaten by another woman.” Shirley put her hands on her waist. “Whoa! Told you so!” Colin hopped out of the chair, throwing his hands up. “I don’t believe it, Mee Maw! Isn’t the actual woman like thirty?” Jolene crossed her arms, pouting. Shirley pulled out her phone, looking up the voice actress. “Actually, she is eighty-four! One year fresher than me!” “Fresher?” Jolene grimaced. “I’m not gonna ask.” 

“Mee maw, have you been to space?” Colin ran over, nearly falling. “Careful now! I almost did, but I was pregnant with your mother. I did do several studies though! I found out that there are two hundred billion galaxies!” Shirley smiled brightly as she wiped cherry flavoring off of his face. “Two hundred what whats?” Colin tilted his head puzzled. “What’s an autopsy?” “No Colin, it’s a dictionary.” Jolene ‘corrected’ him. “No, it’s a correctary!” Colin balled his hands into fists. “No, it’s an obituary!” Jolene leapt at him, ready to fight. “Settle down kids! A galaxy is a system of BILLIONS of stars, held together by gravity.” Shirley grabbed Jolene’s shirt, holding her back. “I’m going to take a nap. Math is boring.” Colin yawned, stumbling to his room. 

“So, Baby Jojo, what do you want to do?” Shirley let go of her shirt, fixing Jolene’s hair. “I want to fight Colin! I will pick him up and throw him and-” “Whoa, you can take less time than that sweetheart. Do I really have to teach you some things?” Shirley smirked, looking down at her. “Wait! Did you have to write that police report or something?” Jolene contemplated, then popping up with her hand. “Right, thanks!” Shirley stumbled to her phone, filing the report.

“Back Jojo!” Shirley adjusted her glasses, patting Jolene’s back. A loud ding would be heard at the door, “One minute again dear!” She rushed to the door, answering it. “Hello! What do you need?” Shirley smiled. “Hello, I was sent here because of a recently filed police report, is this Shirley Stempel?” A man in a suit spoke in a calm, yet stern voice. “Yes dear! Come right on in!” 

“So,” The man would take a seat at the dining table, opening his sketchbook. “What face shape did this man have? Square, heart, maybe oval-shaped?” “Slightly oval, just like yours!” “Mhm, what type of eyes did he have? If you could tell me the color, that would be amazing.” The man started to sketch a face. “I think they were green or hazel, and they were almond shaped. His face was ironically similar to yours young man!” Shirley smiled, laughing slightly. “Were you able to see his hair? Or was it covered by a hat or a hood?” “It was covered by a hood. Sorry if that was important.” “So, what ethnicity was the man?” The sketch-artist moved closer to Shirley. “He was a caucasian male! Just like you!” Shirley paused, connecting the dots. The man would slam his notebook shut. Shirley covered her mouth concerningly, “Wait…”