Friendship Bracelets

Aiden had been in the passenger seat of his mother’s car since seven o’clock that morning, staring out the window. He usually loved the snow -- something about the beautiful cleanliness of it could brighten his mood in an instant. As a child, he would wake up early every morning in December, glance out of classroom windows, even skip TV time after dinner, all just to make sure he watched the first snow of the season. And once it happened -- and, more often than not, he was there to see it -- he would do his homework at the desk next to the big living room window, where he had a perfect view of the pristine blanket of snow covering his front yard. Other kids would eventually complain about the bitter cold, or the bits of snow that would manage to make it into their boots, but Aiden never got tired of it. 

Snow was clean, and it was perfect. But this February morning, all Aiden could see were the dirty parts. The mud sludged against the edges of the driveway, the deck coated in grime from the thousands of boots that walked on it every day, the horrible feeling of his soggy socks squished against his feet. He found himself wishing it were summer again -- and he hated hot weather. 

I don’t care how hot it is, he thought to himself. I just want to go back.

Go back to what, exactly? To the fights with his stepdad about college? To the near-daily proddings from his mother about where he was, who he was with, and what he was doing? Or to the awkward smiles he got from past classmates he saw in town? 

Of course not. What Aiden wanted to go back to was peace, and calm, unchanging times, and doing the same thing every day. To before everything went to shit. To --

No. Aiden didn’t even want to think about him.

He glanced up at the front door of their old house. His mom and stepdad were finally on their way out. He watched as his stepdad followed the mover to the big moving truck, then promptly looked down as he noticed his mother approaching.

“Well!” she said too cheerfully. “You sure got up early today!”

Aiden didn’t reply. 

“I didn’t think you would -- I thought I’d spend at least an hour trying to get you out of bed!” his mom tried again.

This time, Aiden looked at her, trying his best to manage a smile. “Nope.”

Her bright smile faltered a bit when she saw his weak one, and she turned to start the car. “Alright! Do you have everything? Are you ready to say goodbye?”

His mom didn’t wait for an answer, probably because she didn’t have one herself. She started up the car and followed the moving truck out of the driveway and onto the road.

Aiden sighed softly and watched the house he’d grown up in disappear in the side view mirror -- but they turned the corner, and it was gone. Aiden doubted he’d ever go back. 

He looked suddenly to the friendship bracelet on his wrist. The red and yellow strings were dirty, and the ends of them were split and frizzy from years of Aiden messing with them. He wondered if Jordy still had his on -- if he’d worn it that night. He tried to remember if he’d seen it on his wrist the night they’d reunited, but he hadn’t been paying attention to those little details; his mind had been clouded by the fact that his dead boyfriend was actually alive and well. 

Aiden frowned, remembering how happy he had been to see Jordy again. Looking back, it was kind of ridiculous. Jordy hadn’t explained anything. They’d spent the night talking about mindless things and childhood memories, and then Jordy just left. He hadn’t even given Aiden a hint as to how or why he faked his death. 

But that wasn’t unusual for Jordy. He rarely told Aiden anything personal, much less any dark secrets. They almost never talked about Jordy’s family, and when they did, it was mostly about Tristan, or little arguments he’d had with his mom. It was only ever the tip of the iceberg with Jordy; Aiden never got to see what was below the surface. 

He knew that it was partially his fault. He knew that he couldn’t just pin the blame on Jordy. After all, it wasn’t like Aiden ever tried very hard to get Jordy to open up. He’d tried to convince himself that it was because he didn’t want to make Jordy uncomfortable, but it was really because he didn’t want to make himself uncomfortable -- and he was pretty sure Jordy knew, too. 

Sure, Aiden shared a big portion of the blame, but Aiden was in no mood to let Jordy off the hook for anything. Because right now, what was happening to Aiden was Jordy’s fault. Or, at least, that’s what Aiden assumed -- there wasn’t any way to know for sure. But if he was right, then Aiden was moving because of Jordy. 

Aiden sighed again, this time more angrily, and he noticed they were parking in front of the town’s only bookstore.

“Michael has our stand-up mixer,” his mom explained. She noticed the look on Aiden’s face -- but wasn’t quite sure what emotion it expressed -- and added, “Why don’t you come in? I’ll buy you a book or two.”

Aiden had no interest in leaving the car, but, knowing that his mom was trying her best to keep everyone’s spirits up, he smiled and followed her out of the car. 

“Michael told us to come in through the back,” Aiden’s mom whispered. “Kind of ridiculous if you ask me, but I didn’t argue.”

They walked around to the back, where Michael greeted them. He offered to help Aiden’s mom carry the mixer back to their car, to which she graciously thanked him and asked if Aiden could pick out a book or two. Michael looked apprehensive, but agreed under the condition that they were gone before the store opened. 

As Michael helped his mom with the mixer, Aiden aimlessly browsed the shelves. He was in the Mystery section when he ran into a former classmate. 

“Oh -- Julie, you still work here?” Aiden said, face already reddening. 

Though she was trying to hide it, the girl was clearly regarding him with disgust. “Yeah, I’m taking a gap year.”

“Me too,” said Aiden, rubbing the back of his neck in an effort to appear more composed. “Er -- how were the holidays?”

“They were good,” said Julie. The two of them looked at each other awkwardly for a second before she looked down. “Sorry -- I know this is insensitive or whatever, but I’ve heard so many rumors --”

Aiden sighed. “Right.”

“Was it you?” she said, eyes narrowed. “Did you kill them?

So many times in the past few months had Aiden been in heavy conversations like this one, where the other person tried to weasel information out of him, but he hadn’t once been asked directly. He wasn’t really sure how to respond. 

“No,” he said finally, trying to pack as much earnestness into that word as he possibly could. “It wasn’t me.”

Julie frowned, and Aiden couldn’t tell if it was out of disappointment or because she didn’t believe him. Either way, she didn’t seem inclined to ask any more questions.

“Alright,” she said, then turned around and disappeared into the storage room. 

A bell sounded from the front of the stoor, and without missing a beat, Aiden turned back to the bookshelf. He knew his mother had probably had several conversations just like the one he’d had with Julie, and figured she would be better off if she didn’t know her son’s last day in the town he’d grown up in had included someone asking if he was a murderer. 

When he saw his mom’s face, though, he knew that she’d just been asked the same thing -- and she may have even been convinced that the answer was yes.

Their eyes met, and she smiled. “Did you find a book?”

“Oh -- it’s alright, Mom, don’t worry about it,” he said.

She nodded, looking almost relieved. “Right. Let’s go, then.”

She turned around, and Aiden ran to catch the door before it closed. They passed Michael on their way to the car, who was looking solemn, but rather satisfied. He waved slightly as they drove off. 

They’d only gone a few blocks before his mom snapped.

“Did you kill them, Aiden? Did you kill the Vergaras?” she cried. 

“What the hell? No!” Aiden exclaimed. “You really think I would do something like that, Mom?”

“Of course not -- but what Michael said makes a lot of sense -- you did have a motive --”

“What the hell? What motive?”

“I don’t know -- revenge! They were Jordy’s family!”

“Even so, you think I would kill someone? For revenge?”

“No! I just -- I don’t -- I don’t know, alright?” she said. “It’s been a lot -- this rumor, and having to move, it’s just -- it’s been a lot.”

“I know, Mom,” Aiden sighed. “But you have to believe me. I would never kill anyone.”

“I know, honey. I -- I know.”

She wouldn’t look at him. She hadn’t looked at him since they’d gotten back in the car, and Aiden had a feeling it was because she was afraid she’d see someone other than her son looking back at her.

After a couple of minutes, he resumed staring out the window. More people were on the streets now; some walking their dogs, others grabbing coffee, a few jogging. Even though they were all too absorbed in their own activities to even notice the car, Aiden felt as though everyone’s eyes were on him. He hadn’t been able to shake that feeling ever since that fun conversation with his parents two and a half months before, in which his stepdad had told him about the rumor that Aiden had killed the Vergaras. 

At the time, Aiden couldn’t believe it, but after thinking about it, the whole thing made a disturbing amount of sense. He knew who’d killed them. He’d known -- as much as he possibly could have without any solid evidence -- ever since their murders had been announced. But there was nothing he could do about it, because the one who had killed them was supposed to be dead. An unsolved mystery… Until, of course, the rumor started spreading. And suddenly the mystery was solved, even if only to the townspeople. 

And so Aiden was caught in a catch-22 of sorts.

Maybe it’s karma, he thought to himself. He was examining the ragged friendship bracelet, and once again wondered whether -- almost hoped that -- Jordy was still wearing it. 

“Time to say goodbye,” his mom said softly, still looking straight ahead. And Aiden shifted his gaze to the side view mirror, where he watched the town he’d loved as a child but grown to despise fade away.