The Missing Piece

Loneliness.

Why does life seem to hurt so, so much?

It seems to tear you down, and when you're already down...it keeps you there.

The individuals whom haven't experienced such a thing...are truly blessed and don't understand the heartache.

Staying in these four walls for months on end takes a toll on a person. It took a toll on me.

Darkness.

The only thing that seems to comfort the wounded and the weak. It swallows you in slowly wanting you to stay forever, even if you want to or not.

You want to break free from the shackles of loneliness and hurt-but the firm grasp on your heart and mind is too strong for one to escape.

The feeling of being here is like a prison but yet a sanctuary and refuge from the outside world...you want to leave desperately but your mind says stay, its safer here.

Event after event, moment after moment, day after day, week after week, month after month...its never ending and never ceases to amaze what life will throw towards your way next

Sadness.

The state of mind that seems to suck you in and at first it seems nice and comfy, but after awhile-you'd rather die and the pain can be way too much.

Staring at these same walls amazes me. Studying all the intricate details in the ceiling, the shadows dance around the room as the Sun moves from the east to the west, the wind blowing through the trees-the branches waving at you as if they knew you needed a friend.

Sorrow.

All that seems right is laying in your bed, the indention of your body on the mattress and your heavy, tired head on the pillow.

Crying and screaming seem to keep the inevitable away for now until you're about to give. Maybe if I fall asleep, I won't breathe right. Please hear me, just hear my voice.

Fine.

A word that soon becomes your best friend. Your favorite word. It is sometimes overused to some people but its the right word for you, externally.

Internally you are screaming and yelling out in pain for help...just hoping and praying someone will hear you...maybe even comfort you.

Loss.

In the mist of all what's going on inside you. Inside your mind...if you've succumbed to depression, you have begun to lose the battle.

Not a bloody, violent battle that one might think of in your high school history class... it's a war raging in your mind between what its always been.......

Choices.

Good and evil. Happiness and sadness. Right and wrong. Life and death. The Devil and God. You and yourself.

But it doesn't have to be that way....try and work your way towards the light-try and escape the demons inside.

Since last March, a year ago the demons have been ravaging and tearing me into pieces slowly one by one, bit by bit

Not wanting to worry the ones I love is a rough life to live, when you feel like you aren't living-you're just surviving.

The world wants you to feel a certain way but your mind says something else and your heart says another.

Pain.

The only thing that seems to surpass any other feeling inside. Isolation doesn't help, nor does it make one feel better about the way you feel deep down.

While the world around you is slowly falling away from good and collapsing to its knees, you too are crumbling, and you fear you might fall into a bottomless, dark pit of despair

Tiredness.

You try to crawl out, your arms and your heart becomes weak...you just want to give in and let go to the monster under your bed, that has been dragging you under to the depths of hopelessness

All you feel is pain. Sleepiness...is your day to day...whether you like it or not.

You feel like you are getting dragged everywhere you go in a pace you're not used to and that you just drag other people down to your mood...and you feel like you make things worse.

Guilt.

Naturally in places when you live for life. Live for family and friends. Now are just blurs and silhouettes of the good times that once occurred, the laughs you once shared, the smiles you actually portrayed.

Now its solitude at every turn, not feeling enough motivation to socialize, even though it is what you craved while being in the room.

Second guessing.

All these thoughts and feelings cross your mind as you lay there lifelessly alone. Only you and your inner demons...haunting you; taunting your mind

Keeping you away from joy, family, things you once loved to do, peace, healthiness, and the One who is the only antidote

You want to be involved...you want to show that you care, but it seems like you have no energy...no life left to give to those around you let alone to yourself and your well-being.

Dawn.

Will it possibly be a new day? Or does the night still carry on...only you decide.

Will you face the monster in the dark or run towards the light and use it as a weapon against the unknown?

Am I strong enough? Am I willing to carry on with the weight of doubt and the world on your shoulders as you walk through life?

Only you can fight the fight against your own self. Only you knows your weaknesses and strengths in your mind. Only your heart knows how strong you are....if you're willing to take the first step out of the darkness.

The storm raging around you keeps you away from the Sun, the winds and rain block your view of the stars shining down on your tear stained eyes that burn from the hours of weeping by yourself.

But you cannot see the stars without darkness.

Light.

A hand reaches out towards you. You lay there in the dark, bottomless pit as the floor gives way. The hand still reaching as you cry out and fall into the abyss with the demons inside pulling you deeper within.

The light fading....as you still cry out for help towards the savior above to rescue you from yourself.

As you keep falling....not knowing what will happen next...not knowing you might've made it to the sunrise out of the long night, not remotely knowing if a cure was possible

The hand still reaches out....somehow the voice above you knows your name...and its calling to you over and over...

Will the voice begin to fade?

Will the light above leave or stay?

Will you respond?

Will you seek help?

Will the night that has lasted for months finally come to an end?

Will you at long last accept the missing piece?

Story Title Idea by a Good Friend of Mine-Elijah Adams