That night

I was cold. Even though the fire was blazing and hot, I was freezing. I was alone. Even though there were dozens of people squashed together, I was so alone. I was wide awake. Even though I hadn't slept in 26 hours, I was wired.

How did I get into this situation? I couldn't remember. I just knew I couldn't stay.

The exit. Where was it? I needed to leave. Now.

His face. The argument. Noises. Lots of loud noises. Then,

Black.

--

A recurring nightmare. A constant reminder. A reminder of that night. The night he just wanted to forget. Needed to forget. The night he'd never been able to forget.

--

He woke to a buzzing sound coming from his phone. His phone demanded attention, it always did when the ringtone wouldn't shut up.

He was tired from getting literally zero hours of sleep but he was used to it by now. After all it had been a year...

"Aaron?" Aaron's mother sounded tired but, as usual, she tried to hide it.

"Mom? Hey." He got up and made his way the bathroom.

"Hi sweetie. Are you ready to come back? You can stay there if you're not ready to come back. I mean, I would prefer it if you came back because I miss you but you don't-" She had a thing for rambling.

"Mom. It's fine. I-I'm ready to come back.."

"OK. Remember to call me when you get near, alright?" Aaron could practically see her smile through the phone.

"Alright. Love you." He returned the smile even though she couldn't see him.

"Love you."

He ended the call and looked at himself in the mirror. The truth was Aaron wasn't ready to come back but he realised he never would be so better off coming home now. He'd gone away to his family's cabin in the woods somewhere.

He splashed water in his face and ran scenarios through his head, in hope to prepare himself for what would happen when he got home. It was a pointless attempt because nothing could prepare him for what happened next.

--

Aaron could tell his mom was outside his door, listening, but he didn't mind. She usually did that for reassurance anyway. He dropped his bag on his bed, loudly, so his mother knew he was there. After a few seconds, he heard footsteps making there way down the stairs. He mom was satisfied.

He'd been gone for the whole week. He knew he'd miss school, and he could catch up, but he needed to get away. Ever since the party on April 1st he'd been living in fear. Fear of what might happen if he went to another party. If he broke out of his shell. He couldn't let it happen again. Not then. Not ever. Also April 1st was the day before and if anyone was planning a party, Aaron would not be going anywhere near it.

His thoughts were interrupted by a text message from Naomi.

Got any plans tonight? xx

He was weary. If he said no, there was no telling what kind of trouble Naomi could try and rope him into. If he said yes, maybe she'd just give up and call it a day. Who was he kidding? This was Naomi we were talking about.

No. Why?

He waited patiently. Until another message popped up.

Me, Parker and Mara were thinking of going to Delia's party on Friday. Can you come?

Aaron sat, frozen. Did she not remember what happened last time he went to a party? Would he have to remind her? He sat there, for what seemed like forever then his phone pinged again.

Come on Aaron, please? You haven't been to a party in forever and it's time you get off your lazy butt.

He wasn't lazy, he just didn't exercise. There's a difference. Besides, being lazy had nothing to do with it. Naomi knew perfectly well why he didn't want to go. As much as he'd want to go to a party with alcohol and mistakes (which was none, actually) he'd sworn never to go to a party ever again. With what happened last time, he did not want a repeat.

If you go, I'll actually put effort into my schoolwork and try to get into a good college.

She knew him too well. She knew that Aaron cared more about his friends than he did his own well being. That was his weakness. And it would be the death of him.

Fine.

--

It was late. Just like last time. It was cold. Just like last time. It was loud just like last time. It was-

"Mr. Forge, you better not be making comparisons. It's not the same as last time. I promise." She always knew what he was thinking. Always.

He gave her a suspicious look. "Are you sure? Because it sure feels like it."

"Well it's not." She grabbed his hand and started leading them both to the house.

Quick. Think of an excuse!

"I don't think we should go. I mean, It's late and I saw this movie and we could rent it and eat popcorn and-" She glared at him with that glare that always unsettled him.

"No." She carried on leading him to the house. "I'm not doing this with you. We're going whether you like it or not. Now come on."

Dang it.

By the time they reached the house Aaron was visibly trembling. Naomi must of noticed this because she looked in his eyes, smiled, and squeezed his hand as support.

She looked away from him and, taking a deep breath, they stepped through the tall, blue doors.

--

I was drunk- too drunk. I couldn't think. All I knew, was I was so angry. Angry at my dad, the world, my best friend.

Beck. Oh Beck. He was only trying to help me. Didn't want me to drive home in my drunken state. So why was I so angry with him?

Oh yeah. My best friend. The guy I'd known my whole life. The guy who stood up for me when I was being picked on. The guy I trusted. Well, that guy, told everyone the very thing I didn't want anyone to know. The thing that had ruined my life. My dad. My dad and his stupid, face. Which also happened to look a lot like mine.

The point was, Beck made a promise and he broke it. "You." I glared at him. I was seething with anger. I wanted nothing to do with him.

"Aaron, please. I know you're angry at me. You have every right to be." He inched closer to me reaching his hand out. "But I can't let you drive home like this. You'll crash."

"You don't get to tell me what to do. Not after what you did." He tried to stop me, interrupt me, but I was just getting started. "I was so upset. I trusted you with my secret. And what did you do? Tell the police and the entire school. Now my dad is missing. What kind of best friend does that? No, scratch that, what kind of person does that?"

Beck was close now, reaching for the keys. "It...It wasn't like that." Beck's gaze softened. "I had to protect you. I couldn't let him hurt you. You have to understand that. As for the whole school...I don't know who did that. It wasn't me I promise."

I relaxed a bit. Was Beck telling the truth? Should I believe him?

No. He had lied before. In fact, he was brilliant at it.

Beck had thought he'd won so he'd grabbed at the keys. This time, though, I wasn't letting him win. I swerved out of the way just narrowly avoiding Beck.

Now, you have to understand, it was slippery. We were alone and so many things could've gone wrong. I knew that wasn't an excuse. There weren't any.

At that moment Beck slipped, whacked his on the corner of the pool with a terrifying thwack, and toppled into the pool, sinking to the bottom.

He was dead. He had to be. Blood dyed the pool purple and no one could survive a hit like that. Maybe if I pulled the him out of the water, he could've lived. Maybe, if I gave him CPR or even a bandage, Beck would've at least had a chance of survival. But maybe doesn't let me go back and save him. Maybe doesn't make it OK. Because I didn't do any of those things. I just ran into the loud of the party, leaving the guy i'd called a best friend, to drown at the bottom of the pool.

--

Maybe there was a reason for Aaron leaving Beck in the pool when he knew he could save him. Maybe Aaron...Maybe he wanted him dead. Maybe he was twisted like that. Either way, it was way too similar and he couldn't let it happen again.

--

Aaron looked around trying not to freak out. Naomi was still holding his hand but she looked as though she wanted to go off. "Go."

"Wait are you sure?" She gave him a concerned look.

"Yeah, I'll survive." He nodded his head in her direction as a final decision. Naomi gave him a quick smile of reassurance and went off to drink alcohol. Aaron wasn't going to survive but he knew he had to lie to stop her worrying.

Why did he agree to come? He should've stayed home in his warm bed instead of doing the one thing he swore he'd never do again. Come to think of it he probably wouldn't be doing it again so he might as well enjoy himself.

But then he saw him. That face. Beck. No, it couldn't be. Beck was dead. He pinched himself. Again. Then again. What he was seeing was real, and heading straight for him.

Aaron should've walked away. Ran. Jogged. Something. But he couldn't make his legs move. He just stood there frozen. Until, who he thought was Beck, stood right in front of him. Everything fell silent.

"Hi, I'm Jeb. Beck's twin brother."