And justice for all

It has many offensive things.

“And they never saw the ogre ever again. The end.”

All the kids clapped and cheered. They sat close together on the library rug listening to the young man’s tale. Their teacher looked pleased. She blew her whistle signaling it was time to leave. One by one the children exited in an orderly fashion, screaming at the top of their lungs whatever came to mind.

As he placed the book back on its shelf Aron heard another man’s voice call out to him. He wore a suit and tie and carried a black briefcase with him. His face was like glass, almost raw, perfectly shaved.

“Nice story, the kids seem to like it.”

“It never fails,” Aron said. “Who doesn’t like happy endings?”

The man smiled and extended his business card saying

“That’s true. Why don’t we get a cup of coffee? There’s a shop nearby.”

Aron dropped it and grabbed his backpack. He tried to push past the man but was tackled and came crashing down. Aron reached for a knife and stabbed with ferocity. The man’s face was torn to shreds as - 

“Why can’t you write a nice story?”

“What? Aron was a child molester and the detective got stabbed but I was planning for him to shoot Aron later in the story.”

“It’s a prompt about community and helping people, being grateful.” 

“Fine, let’s do the one with the tree:”

Father and Son were planting a Tree in the Garden on the Sixth Day."

“Don’t do that.”

“What now?”

“Stop it with those pseudo-intellectual-watered-down-misinterpreted bible-inspired stories. You're not clever.”

“I mean it’s kinda clever…”

“What about the raking leaves story?”

“All that comes to mind is that youtube video where Michael Myres makes snow angels in the leaf pile. Who goes around raking other people's leaves? I’m sure that's illegal.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Thou shalt not rake, my son.”

“I’ll start this time. I’m doing the professional in retirement:”

There was a knock on the door at three am. Jim wasn’t expecting company. He gently pushed the blonde's hand off his chest. Taking care not to wake the brunette he rolled on his side and landed like a jaguar on the hardwood floor. There was another gentle knock. Naked he cautiously walked so as not to wake the redhead that slept on the sofa. A third knock came this time louder. Jim opened the window and stepped on the ledge, his muscular legs balancing in the blizzard.

“Why do you have your guy butt-naked on a ledge?”

“He’s gonna circle around to the window in the hallway and surprise the guy knocking.”

“Who’s knocking at his door? You're running out of hair colors.”

“You're funny. It’s the sergeant major. There’s been a gas leak in enemy waters and Jim’s the man for the job.”

“I see. Jim is like this solid snake that has sex with a lot of women but is never satisfied. He leaves them breathless but can’t get off because the only thing that he enjoys is war.”

“Maybe he doesn’t need to be this cool. Forget the women. It’s just him -”

“Buttnaked.”

“Yes, in his room at three am.”

“And he sets sail, standing on the windy deck with his strong thighs-”

“Muscular legs.”

“Right, and then he dives and finds a magical realm with ponies, talking goats, that kind of stuff. And the citizens of the enchanted water-farm call Dick Justice the Chosen One.”

“Very subtle.”

“Don’t worry nobody’s gonna read it. All that’s left is the one giving thanks. What do you have?”

“How about a news anchor saying:”

“Thank you for that lovely story about Colombian coffee. I never knew so many blends could exist, haha.” 

Diana brushed her hair when she said it. She bit her lip as well. Realizing others might pick up on it she regained her composure and continued the interview.

“Mr. Justice, I-”

“Please, Diana, call me Dick,” the strong-thighed man said in a sad yet stern, manly voice.

“Dick, how come a military man so highly decorated knows so much about art and nature, coffee and so many beautiful things? “ 

Her ears were glowing red. Dick’s pale blue eyes burned holes in her skull.

“I fought for my country whenever needed. There’s nothing beautiful about war, I take no pleasure in harming others. But when freedom and justice are at risk then I’ll risk my life fighting for what’s right.”

A sigh escaped Diana’s lips, and her chest heaved. 

“You see, Diana, the world is filled with beauty and wonder. When the desert left me for dead, my unit decimated, the only thing that kept me crawling forward for miles was the rising sun over the dunes. Have you ever seen the dunes, Diana?”

Diana swallowed hard.

“It’s like an ocean, dancing in the cool morning breeze. Shadows slither, and chimes ring when grains of sand roll against each other. And the air is heavy, charged with a magical life essence.”

“What do you mean?” Diana asked, leaning forward and touching his knee.

“Water, that which brings life to everything and everyone. The moisture is what supports life in that harsh place. I like to think that there's beauty in all things no matter how hard, rough and barren it may appear.”

“I can fix you,” she found herself whispering, a tear running down her cheek. Dick caught the crystal droplet, crumpled it in his fist, and said

“Thank you, Diana, I had forgotten what it felt like to cry. I shall keep this tear inside of me and promise to shed it only when world peace is reinstated. I must take my leave of you.”

“And Dick Justice jumped out the window rappelling upside down in the T pose. He jumps in his German car and tears the tarmac like he tore your mom’s ass last night.”

“Diana leans out the window, her lush hair blowing in the wind. She’d lost a button, so her chest was exposed a little kinda hot, but also classy. A split second after her phone chimed: Dick sent a pic.