Apple Of My Eye for you to reedsy whole thing

Shana Aubrey Harris (youngest of deux darling daughters), whose existence begat by this dada and da mama. Aye revel in your bursting at figurative seams! viz maturation, and discern by communicating courtesy private line telepathically, your aura, charisma, karma credit... finds me blinking back tear ducts ready to loose water works i.e. cry. Why? I feel ecstatic, magic, rhapsodic... how fate gifted this papa. Mine existence would be devoid without you, and forsaken without purposefulness, should cruel, horrible punishment undermined existence regarding vibrant lass. If the loss of such a daughter as thee would befall thee humble dada, one young lady more valuable than words can spell. A significant reason to live would be dashed, nixed, shipwrecked... Psyche of mine would feel marooned to die. Such emotional devastation could never be quashed even as gums mouthed or uttered fee fie foe fum – Jack (of Beanstalk storybook fame). Thee sole gal would also lack will would become unmoored, I cannot hex Spain an unimaginable absence. Yes as would also affect the fearsome giant). Thence, this grunting, groveling, and grieving guy forced to traverse terrestrial firmament like a zombie high king over a vast boulevard of broken dreams. I (re: this humdrum Harris heir), his lifesource ordinarily replenished, restored, revitalized... inner strength would be zapped. Emptiness would reverberate head to toes within mine soul asylum. Inconsolable grief could never be assuaged, eradicated, killed... (forever hijacked). A reign of emotional torture would find yours truly punctured analogous to mortally wounded animal. Willpower to defeat your hypothetical death (worse case scenario threatening psyche of most fathers and mothers, could not be staved, stanched, nor stopped, but tis fool hardy mill Laurel Lei – under Stan? Thus utter wretchedness to escape and allow, enable, or invite darksome, irksome, unwholesome... thoughts. Hence best for this brain to rejoice in your awesome, lithesome and winsome transformation since first hearing thee blood curdling scream. Though geographically distant (thanks given to parallel series of fortunate events), an independent state of being ushers kudos. At age twenty, twenty five, thirty... this papa lacked inner uber gumption to lyft himself by frayed bootstraps. Faith no more prevailed since... far back into boyhood. Circumstance and/or happenstance (mother being with child i.e. your eldest smart sister) necessitated cram session necessitating me to "hoist with his own petard." Prior to abetting gather rosebuds while I may found then singular son weathering ultimatums. Bubba and zayda (scores of years ago) verbally lashed, harangued, demanded... reprehensible irksome lassitude, habitude, attitude... interpreted, cuz to them (both parents), I long since crossed the rubicon (overstaying welcome) within 324 Level Road, and vexed them with (what appeared) absolute zero ambition, initiative, motive... to seek gainful employment. In truth, no aversion perse woke me against shouldering responsibility. More so, my mental health afflicted with unrelenting anxiety, fear panic, which prognostication schizoid personality disorder just recently honestly impacted, impeded, imperiled... adaptability to demands foisted by supervisor/manager. Essentially, I did strike out more than three times, and quickly established heavy dossier being let go (fired) one after the other. I felt fraught with agitation, emasculation, manumission... shackled courtesy invisible chains. An impossible mission to cope, finagle, inspire determination, inspiration, motivation... arose most likely since conception. While no means exists to validate said premise, I surmise with 20/20 hindsight inchoate mutation thwarted healthy biological development until parturition.

Likewise, thee precious Shana Punim also blessed (ha) with aberrant genetic material. As her birth parents, we (the missus and myself) ventured upon intervention. Why? A developmental delay became obvious. Said progeny exhibited absent verbal skills when she eclipsed the twelve plus months orbit around the sun. Unlike yours truly, whose psycho/social struggle appeared when I entered grade school, thee aforementioned offspring evinced clear cut absent ability to grasp language usage. Most every effort to talk (applying scant number of words) yielded to blood curdling, ear splitting, and ineradicable screaming way beyond threshold of tolerance. Assessment undertaken once this disability begged for urgent professional care. Thus unconditional love for biological charge spurred us (the missus and myself) to pursue every resource brought to our attention. No definitive diagnosis seemed apropos. Nonetheless at some early juncture (approximately when Shana attained preschool age), an medical appellation became necessary in order for appropriate therapy to proceed. Medicaid required classification regarding quite evident stilted communication. While psychiatrists, social workers, therapists, et cetera puzzled over identifying clearer insight, other aspects of her body electric underwent examination to winnow the best categorization. Audiologists applied hearing tests. Nope, no evident deafness. A plethora of knowledgeable and skilled specialists eventually described the malady as PDD-NOS, which stands for Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified. ... As such, PDD-NOS became the diagnosis applied to children or adults who are on the autism spectrum but do not fully meet the criteria for another ASD such as autistic disorder (sometimes called “classic” 

autism) or Asperger syndrome. Never one to decry our youngest of two darling daughters born this way (yea with a poker face) prompted speculation food for thought. Both this mister re: writer and spouse experienced moderate/severe psychological and learning challenges. These afflictions pronounced debilitating cognition and socialization. Special education and/or mental retardation comprised alternate classification, though neither adequately pinpointed horrendous academic and interpersonal advancement that beset yours truly or his wife. Scores of years gone by lacked manifold resources. Rather than experience dejection regarding the random genetic dice throw, we felt gratitude at abundance of heavenly expertise fielded toward exhausting every option in order to allow, enable, and provide the best opportunities mainstreaming our little lass (see). Additionally, a realization that many prestigious facilities (such as DuPont nemours pediatrics located within Wilmington, Delaware) catered to profound anomalies much more serious than hogtied our lovely girl. Over ensuing years (from inception of said evaluations kick starting sundry activities, facilitated programs, structured therapies, et cetera slow and steady progress evidenced as Shana exhibited expanded vocabulary, plus capacity to establish friendships. Unlike my abysmal classroom shortcomings, (an understatement), the lucky lass received swiftly tailored assignments. These custom made curriculums in tandem wit regular ieps (Individualized Educational Plans) a dogsend. They intended to ensure that our child afflicted with a disability identified under the law attended an elementary, secondary educational institutions received specialized instruction and related services. Positive academic experiences (nsync with no room for bullying (versus biological dada targeted as token scapegoat) infused me with envy. Most every day lessons wrought much more satisfactory experiences than mine. Where I detached myself (emotionally, physically, and socially), thee storied radiant quizzical prized offspring integrated herself much more

healthily again than yours truly. Oft times (closer to the present), I upbraided, teased, chided... thyself. Why, I blamed hereditary (mine) for loosing mutations upon thee daughter. Lucky duck she evolved into pleasing youngster, her life chock full of positivity, whereby baby steps taken since the get go gradually translated into confidence, fierce independence, livingsocial, et cetera. Thou all three of us (father, mother, and female child) within same family affected/afflicted with learning difficulty, social anxiety, time management, et cetera the most recent biological generation gifted with a gamut of qualities promoting outstanding characteristics such as iterated above plus ambition, courage, fortitude...

Largesse meaning involving tender loving care provided courtesy Montgomery county wide network served as an invisible safety web. Threads got stitched together with admitted agitation, frustration, irritation...,but now (actually since quite a few years in the past), I can only rejoice with spiritual celebration. Though das papa less risk averse, nor fraught with paralyzing panic attacks thank you prescription medication rendered by smart men and women soldiering within pharmaceutical companies (housing sophisticated laboratories), the means to cope more successful. Writing (prose and poetry) also cathartic to jog loose remembrance of unpleasant, nee series of unfortunate events. The perfect emotional storm left devastation and nearly cost casualty of one life, who currently refrains from suicidal ideations.