DIARIES OF RAYMOND PRICE

PIECES OF FLESH

The sand beneath my feet looks like scorched rubble. I smell the air and it beckons me to let my wings loose. Now that my enemies have encompassed me, I must use my claws and teeth to save myself, then I shall hereafter flee to a distant land in terror for my life

My wings are frail and painful on my back. I spread them far and wide but my heart aches because they cannot save me from my enemies. Though I move with great speed, though my talons are as strong as the beast from whence I came, though my eyes can see through the gloom of the night, I still pray that I could give up all my faculties to be normal.

The recollection of my former life has become vague and I moan because of the monster I have become. I do not feel the tears trickle down my face even when a river forms where I stand because I do not believe I am capable of a virtue such as remorse. But I digress, I must narrate only the story of how I came to possess such celestial pieces of flesh.

MOSCOW, 1980

The day goes by slowly and I watch as a stranger, the mirage in the distant horizon. I long for the day when I would explore the lands untouched my man, lands which so richly are filled with foliage sparkling with dew like emerald and beauty that transcends the one I behold now. There I shall find gladness of heart. Yet now, I still linger, as if in a trance, inside these memories of a land I am yet to reach.

Every day I come ever closer still to finding my way to this land of undying splendour. I have already advanced my pace in pursuing my fervent dream for I know that I must not walk alone. If I do, who will tell my tale? If my end is to catch me unaware, then my name must be engraved in the tombs where Hern`an Cortes is revered, or where Sir Francis Drake and other discoverers have their names an emblem of expeditions that men of their age dared not to partake.

I see now with certitude that there; my fear of danger and death will be quenched to quietude by the beauty that shall ever more thrill my soul. I had beforehand learnt of the rumours of a place that stood aloof in the frontiers of Europe towards the sea.

My team of adventurers have I sought with ardency. I know that I must not walk alone. These are men with profound abilities in whom I have entrusted the fate of our undertaking.

Together we shall explore the lands afar. We shall be called noble men and nothing shall deem our hopes cowardice. No words shall describe this sensation. We shall ride the wind and soar through the romances of this new world of unparalleled beauty. The day there shall not go by slowly.

This I know.

DECEMBER, 1980

We are utterly lost in the webs of the jungle. The trees wall around us and continually ring peals of fateful doom. This breeze travels from the land towards which I am advancing. It soothes my soul like a good dream. I imbibe this feeling with my heart and mind. I know it is a foretoken of the rest of my life. I shall inhabit the land. There I will accentuate my feral spirit. I shall be free.

This I know.

But I have found a strange concern that vexes me and enslaves me to the very core of my being. We are once more benighted by a denser darkness, even more than the nights before. And at night the stars hover in the empty sky, and sometimes the moon sets on its usual course.

We travel through a strange land and we know not what dwells in the flaw of rocks nor have we knowledge of what comes with the gloom of the night. Our hopes must not be deemed cowardice but we have heard the flapping of wings like a great wind. We have felt the air become heavy when the sun goes down. If our end is to come upon us unaware, then it is this strange enemy that is to be blamed for our fate.

I press my companions to move onwards harder each day, until we would reach the edifice of man’s greatest expedition.

DECEMBER

I have utterly lost count of days and time, as if I am with a delicate mind of a drunkard. The equipment which we carry for guides have proven to be without purpose. We are lost in the webs of a strange world, with trees that touch the heavens above, and they all look alike. We are lost, this I know. Yet again when the sun goes down, we despair because we hear the flapping of wings but though we search the hidden secrets of the gloom, we cannot say whence it comes.

On this night when we laid to rest, I was awakened by the most disturbing presence. A vile gust of wind from the sky came hither suddenly. My focus was altogether cloudy. My eyes in the present moment, plunging into the openness of the heavens, immediately fastened on a flying creature with wings as dark as the shadow and eyes piercing my whole form.

The scene before me was so consuming that I cannot in fullness describe how I had in my mind become a corpse all at once, ready to be buried into the deepest part of the earth.

Its wings swept the air heavily and cast it in the direction it flew and it descended a little lower, making sturdy trees sway with throes of terror. It again picked up into higher heights with a suppleness that should not be possessed by a creature of its size and right before it disappeared, I caught another glimpse of its animate eyes reaching down to earth to devour my trembling

PETROSKY MOON

I am a doctor by profession, a psychiatrist. Raymond is the closest thing to family I have. When he first told me that he was going on this expedition, I laughed away his thoughts and took them for folly. But I saw how unwavering his desires had become and I simply could not have allowed him to go alone. He needed me.

It was never our intention to get lost in the maze of the jungle or to run into a habitation of wildlings. But we did and we have. Here in this unforgiving land we have found the most unusual populace.

Their way of life is simple, strange and unwelcoming. They are content I might add. But still I am not at ease for some reason.

Raymond has taken a liking in one of the wildling girls, her name is Amora. In the many nights that we have spent here, he has taught her a few English phrases. She really picks up quickly.

Whenever the two commune, his face is lighted up and a peace occupies his features, one that I had not seen in many years. She is very beautiful. I see why he likes her.

But we mustn’t stay here. We must leave at once. and we did.

Our path was a dangerous one but we had all put our trust in Raymond. He spoke of this land so richly that our minds had been entranced by his vision. We hoped that we would share the merits that this world would offer.

It wasn’t long before we were again thrown into the hours of the night. A day became two then three, maybe four.

We would move long distances by day and we would set camp by night. Winter was slowly creeping in and we laboured with great difficulty to keep warm. Soon we found ourselves clambering up a mountain that would give us passage to the world yonder. A coarse path harbored us a few hundred feet before abandoning us to contours of large steep rocks. The winds in those heights posed the greatest threat. And night would not allow us to rest with so dangerous a path.

When the morning came, we found a space of less than a hundred feet in length that had been cleaved into the mountain. There we set camp for our respite. We started a fire when the evening chill possessed the air. But that night we could not sleep. There had developed a foul stench all around us. One of the men stood up from before us and said he needed some fresh air. He walked to the edge seeming careless about the height. Suddenly his eyes sored to the rocks above us, and he stood transfixed with fear.

In those few alarming seconds, we heard a loathsome shrieking as of a bird or an animal, so loud that our ears almost ruptured.

Everyone was on their feet and guns were in the air searching. Finally, it was revealed the origin of the noise and the stench.

The flying creature had nestled on the rocks above us, as if prowling with intent. Its horrific eyes had already narrowed on us and it was crawling towards us from above when we caught it. With its claws it leapt from the rock and with its wings it dove downwards past us.

Before long, it again glided past us into the air and the flapping of its wings caused a rush of air to seize one of the men, overwhelming him out of balance until he fell to his death.

The giant bird circled around and launched itself in our direction. Its claws stretched out to occupy the size of a man. Its body was covered with fur and not feathers and our bullets did not seem to slow its descent. The creature pounced on two more of my companions before taking off into the night. Only Raymond and I were left.

I convinced Raymond that we had to get to higher ground. We were forced to keep moving even with the night, there was no time to moan.

We were to tread past ragged and probing stones on a narrow incline.

We soon appeared before a cave and the inside was altogether dark. We flung ourselves inside without question . The air in the cave rushed to our nostrils, delivering the same foul stench from the night before.

Our focus dissipated into the hollow before finally resting on the horrific features of the flying monster. Its eyes oppressed us and assailed our insides but it did not move from its corner, almostas if it was weak. As it laboured to breathe, Raymond approached it quietly. It gave a potent warning with its wretched teeth and I immediately jumped back against the wall. Raymond was composedly still. “It is dying, it can not hurt us” he said.

We watched the creature die slowly, because it had been shot by us the night before.

I did not know then that the dying creature would hold so much power over Raymond. I watched him closely as he studied and absorbed this creature. When the morning came, I could see a compassion in his eyes for the creature that had become a corpse. It had wings like a bird but a skin covered with fur like an animal.

Such a creature was an abomination. It did not belong here, in this world.

“If only I could fly” he said.

Those nights I spent in the cave were dreadful.

There was no food or water. The evenings were cold and frightening. Day after day I watched Raymond lose his sanity just by staring at the rotting corpse. He would do nothing but sit next to it, staring at it and imbibing its stench. And some nights I would hear him talking to himself.

One morning I decided to explore the cave further than I had the days before. My body was altogether weak but I willed myself to survive. Raymond could not go with me. His faculties had been entranced by the dead creature. By now he had become accustomed to the habit of petting the creature with endearment. He would only say. “I must fly through the heavens above, to reach the worlds afar.

I see now, more clearly than ever, that I must become more than mortal man.”

He was losing his mind. So, it was up to me to get us back home safely, back to our own world. I began my exploration into the cave.

Late that night, I wondered back to where I had left Raymond. I could not see clearly but the foul stench ushered me all the way

back until the aperture of the cave was revealed by the dim lights of the luminous bodies in the heavens.

I could hear Raymond breathing before I could even see him. My eyes quickly adjusted to the dim light and there he was. He was laying naked on the bare ground besides the rotting corpse. I could see two huge pieces of flesh on his back before I realized what he had done.

It was those wings. Raymond had cut off the monster’s wings and sewed them on his back. He used the thick threads from his apparel and whatever else he could find. His whole back was blood wet and sliced deep. The wings were too heavy for him to even lift himself up. I immediately rushed to tend to him. I picked up a serrated stone and freed him from the pain of those wings. There had become two loathsome wounds where the wings were attacked. That much blood was going to claim his lifelike it did the wretched creature.

MORTAL MAN

In the morning I sought for my wings but I could not find them. They are mine to possess. Yet I know that I am weak. I try in vain to subdue the pain on my back. I must fly at once because no one shares my ardent desire to reach the world yonder anymore. No one understands this feeling.

My only true friend has betrayed me. Moon has cast my celestial pieces of flesh into the night while I slumbered. And now I cannot find them. So, I must kill myself at once because I am utterly lost without them. The beast of prey that lingers outside must surely put an end to my meaningless existence.

I am weak and feeble. My whole body aches and my limbs are as pillars of rock for I labour to move.

The wind outside now embraces me and my pain is altogether dismissed. I am soon to bequeath my sorrows in the deepest darkest gloom of death.

The blood that now continues through my veins has been annealed by celestial gore. Had I possessed the wings a little while longer, I would have become that which the night fears. I would then flap my wings with delightful suppleness and strike terror to all those who dare to gaze upon my features or trespass in the hours of the night. I would ascend on high and the celestial pieces of flesh would belong to me alone.

My beloved friend, the one who betrayed me watches me and the wounds on my back. Wemust leave at once. We will get to the village whence we came.

I have suddenly become one with a ravenoushunger. My teeth are irritably rancid. I must even consume raw meat. Do not think I am not in my right state of mind. I must even say my eyes have attained an eternal sense and my heart has filled with bliss.

I have agreed to be led back to the village of wildlings by my betrayer. He looks at me as if with eyes of compassion. But I know deeply that he seeks to do me harm like he has done me before.

I am weak and I lose control of my limbs. But we have neared the place where we hear drums and see smoke in the sky. We are saved at last. Here among these people we shall regain our strength. I have been admitted into a small shelter. The women bring me bread and water from the brook. It tastes dreadful. It might be poisoned.

The only woman I desire to see is Amora. She has not visited me since I came here.

A day becomes two and I lay here in the dark without bathing my troubled soul in the light of day. My betrayerhas also not visited my shelter. The women that enter my tent feed me bitterfruits and water from the brook. My heart only craves meat. These women look at my featureswith curiosity. This is why I must leave quickly.

They do not understand why my hair has grown longer or why I continually scratch the ground where I lay.

The night has come once more. I know that I must rule at once. I must end the life of my betrayer and hereafter journey to the lands afar. Amora visits my shelter at last. She must satisfy me. She must lay by my side and share with me my desires. Together we shall flee to a distant land. She shall feed me raw meat and I shall not do her any harm, even when her flesh is appealing in my eyes. But I must not lay down next to her. If I do, she will surely see that my wings are beginning to sprout on my back. I must hide this indeed. I am becoming that which I once feared the most.