The End

“Can you order the lobster for me, babe?” Janaia asked as a violinist softly strum behind her. “With the mashed potatoes and asparagus? Oh, and a glass of Pinot?”

The rich scents of vanilla and sandalwood combined with cooked meat and vegetables permeated the air.

“Yes, of course,” Ryan smiled, the spark in his eye enhanced by the candlelight as he pulled back her chair. “Whatever you want.”

“Thank you, babe,” she smiled back, collected her purse, and gave him a parting peck. “I’ll be right back. I love you.”

"I love you, too," he replied.

Ryan’s face seemed to beam even harder as he joyfully watched his beautiful girlfriend walk off.

As Janaia settled on the sheet-covered toilet seat in the ladies’ room, her nostrils now filled with scents of bleach and the faint zest of lemon, she pulled out her phone and opened Gmail.

After clicking Compose, her thumb hovered over the mini keyboard a few seconds.

Then, she began.

Hey, Rodney,

I hope this message finds you well.

Let me first say, I love you. You know I do. I’ve loved you practically since the day I first saw you in that museum two years ago.

As fate would have it, Ryan had to work that day and couldn’t go, so I went alone. And there you were, in all your rugged essence…

I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind since.

To be honest, for a long time, that was one of the best days of my life. I don’t know, maybe it still is. But.

As much as I’ve loved you—love you… As much as I know we’ve both come to love and care about one another… As many great memories as we’ve created and shared together… It absolutely tortures me to say that…

This has to end.

I do still love you, but… I’m with Ryan. He was here first, and I know we’ve had our differences and he isn’t perfect, but…I know he really loves me. And I love him enough.

A notification suddenly popped up on Janaia’s phone.

She swiped down to check. It was a new text message from Ryan.

“hey.. r u ok?”

Janaia suddenly realized she’d been in the bathroom a little longer than usual. But also, Ryan was always pretty protective of her.

She felt so lucky.

“yea sorry, b there just a sec,” she responded.

“ok,” he said. “take your time. just making sure u’re ok”

Janaia smiled as her eyes lingered on his words for a few moments.

They soon calmed, and her lips returned to a pout as she returned to her e-mail draft.

He’s a good man, and I can’t continue to do this to him.

You’re a good man, too. That’s why you deserve someone who can be with just you. To be and give everything you need. To love you completely. Freely, out in the open. Maybe that can be me…in another lifetime. Unfortunately, not this one.

I know I said once upon a time that he and I might not make it—that I’d grown bored and unattracted to him at times—but… to give full disclosure, we’re currently at this really fancy restaurant for our three-year anniversary, and it’s really… Nice.

He’s been really sweet and romantic today, much more than usual. He bought me beautiful flowers, brought me here in a limo, we’re both really dressed-up. It’s nice. I like it. It’s making me like him more.

And it’s making me realize I need to focus on him more. Which means I need to let go of you. Of us.

Last night was a mistake.

Don’t get me wrong, it was great…as always… But a mistake nonetheless. I should’ve never done it. I should’ve never done any of it. But I did. We did.

I’ll never forget those many wonderful intimate moments we shared and how special you’ve always made me feel. I hope I’ve made you feel special, too.

And I know this is a really cowardly way to end things. I get it. But… I really mean it this time.

Anywho…

I love you. I’m sorry. Forgive me.

Please ask your mom and family to forgive me also.

Sending greatest wishes your way.

Take care.

Love, J

Oh, and you can keep the clothes I have at your house. And I’ll mail you yours.

Grabbing a sheet of toilet paper, she dabbed the moisture collecting in the corner of her eye and then a little more to wipe what little had trickled out beneath her as she’d crafted the message.

Janaia took a deep breath and carefully read over the message a few times—making slight tweaks, mostly grammatical corrections—to make sure it was just right.

Her thumb hovered over the Send button a few moments...

And then finally pressed it.

She flushed the toilet, stepped out the stall, and washed her hands.

Assessing her face in the mirror, she took a few moments to freshen her makeup and soaked with the tip of a paper towel any residual tears that seemed to hang around in her eye, reminded herself of where she was and who she was with—to inspire a genuine smile, which worked—and then headed back out.

Janaia practically floated back to the table, and her whole face beamed as tremendous relief filled her, feeling the lifted weight of a massively lifted burden.

“Hey, babe!” she exclaimed with renewed energy as she pulled out her own chair. “Sorry I took so long. There was a bit of a wait.”

Ryan gently nodded.

“Did the waiter come?

He nodded again. “He did.”

“Oh, you tell him what I wanted?”

“I did.”

Janaia’s eyes narrowed. “Are you okay, babe?” she smiled uncertainly.

Ryan lingered, and his matte-pupiled eyes also narrowed.

“Yeah… Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Oh, okay,” she said. “Just checkin’. I’m having a wonderful night, and I love you so much.”

“Love ya’, too, babe,” he said as he slid the grey velvet box back into his pocket.