In The Icy Hands of Time

A gust of wind drove down the valley, grazing my feet. I stood firmly, inhaling a mix of icy wind with nostalgic memories. I felt lethargic and sounded like a panting dog. It was the first path I have ever taken in life that was bestrewed with rocks and not litter. I felt a sense of purity, and I could tell my mind would be cleared after our hike. I could tell I would be able to face whatever happened that day. It is not every day that you get to do things and cross them out your bucket list.

All around me were the sweetest of voices whispering love. The hands of time froze - I thought of adventure and of all things that made me grateful. The view in front of me was breathtaking - I contemplated taking a fun snap for the gram. “What would make the perfect caption for a snap of a hidden gem?” “Would it be – I’m remembering nothing can stop me from being a forever being?” Pride filled my eyes as I snapped the perfect picture with the most seductive scenery. I certainly did not expect to get such a clear shot of myself alongside the enchanting alpine lake. I gazed at The Valley of Ten Peaks for a couple of minutes before I had continued the hike. I was allured by the beauty this place oozed. All around me were stunning alpines and vistas. The lake was shimmery emerald green blended with a blue fall. Indeed, this view was enjoyable - golden trees, majestic mountains, patches of snow with soothing water features. It was just one amazing place with an explosion of colour and light.

“Hi-Ho!” “This was therapeutic.” It was amazing how a journey on foot could help you rejuvenate and rejoice in life. No, it was certainly not the great cardio workout I experienced or an increase in dopamine levels in my brain. No, it was not the natural light that helped elevate my mood. Nor was it an energy booster. I felt immersed in nature, and for the first time after an exceptionally long time I felt, I nurtured. It was Mother Earth nurturing me. She gently dressed my wounds and concocted a lofty magical potion that made my anxiety seem so insignificant. I felt divinely protected and safe. Ahh, they were right when they said nature is the perfect antidote for stress. “How could I have not felt this before?” The peace, the stillness, and the warm fuzzy feelings. All I could see was Mother Earth staring back at me with the most captivating smile on her face and the dreamiest eyes. All this time - I was under the baleful influence of my computer screen. “What a sinister he was? He blindfolded and trolled me with his mind games, or was it a well-thought-out game.”

It felt like Princess and the Frog, only to realize that the prince was all an illusion. He masqueraded as the prince, but he was just a frog. Well, well, this was rather fateful too! It was my sophomore year of college, and I was part of the coolest gang ever. I was not the typical sophomore. I was a tad bit cranky, an ounce of weirdness, a pound of cuteness, and a ton of brains. No, you thought wrong! I was definitely not a dork, but I was that interestingly odd mix that everyone adored. I struck the perfect balance between studying and having fun. I was quite a rebellion - vandalism, graffiti, parties, and prank calls were just some of the few things I did. Could it be all that daringness that got me dared in the first place or lured to a hazy path?

It was a fine Friday afternoon. We decided to bunk our late class and start the weekend with craziness. My friends knew that I had no interest in dating, and we were high on coke doing insane things. We decided to play Truth or Dare. It is one of the most thrilling games, but this turned out to be a nightmare. I guess it is just how the game works! It pulls the strings of your ego, striking each chord so powerfully drawing you in closer. The game started rather slowly and later advanced to something more thrilling. It finally got to me, and an unknown bohemian guy pitched up to the location. I was irked by him, yet dared by my friends to date him for a year. I tried to worm my way out of this one, but I could not work my way out. I still took up the challenge bravely.

Challenge accepted, I exclaimed. My friends cheered us on. We spent the night together, and gosh it was the most dreadful night. I was so infuriated that I got back to my senses, and I was clearheaded. He tried to create a conversation with me, but I could not bear being in the same room as him. The more I tried looking at him, the smile on my face turned into a frown. Even before midnight, everyone had passed out, and it was just him and I awake. I felt scared, so I decided to speak to him to get through the night. Within that night, my opinion about him changed. I should mention that he could keep a conversation. It was for the first time ever a guy had made me laugh non-stop, pay interest in a conversation, and actually taught me so much. I am the one who generally does all of the above, and it felt like I may have met my match. We had talked the whole night and exchanged numbers too. However, strange enough, we did not exchange any personal information. Soon it was dawn, and bright yellow rays wafted through the living room. I had received a call from my family and had to rush home, I had a family emergency that needed my attention. The next day, I woke up to multiple texts from him. I did not take him seriously. The only thing that changed was that I started admiring his quick wit.

We went back to college, and a few days later, he had transferred to my college. I was more than overwhelmed by things and swarmed with thoughts. Soon everything eased up, and we became good friends. I cannot remember how it started, but soon we were dating for real. It almost felt like someone had taken this dare seriously. Getting to know him, I realized I liked him. I started ignoring all the red flags he gave me. The closer we got I realized I was treading a tedious path. The more I tried to find out about his personal life - he would dismiss the topic at hand or always rush off to some other place. Over time the only time we spent was chatting online. He would come online after days and behave hostile towards me, but I could not stop myself from wanting to speak to him. Days went on, and he had ghosted me. I struggled to cope with this. It finally got to a point where I realized he was manipulative and toxic, so I decided to confront him. When I confronted him, he was rude and cold when he blurted out, “we dated because of a dare - do not take things so seriously. “I felt my whole body trembling, I was gasping for breath, I started stammering when I spoke, and I experienced a pounding headache. I stormed out of the room and wanted to be to myself that whole day. Weeks later, my college had sent out emails to us stating that the top achievers for the semester would be given a fully sponsored surprise getaway for a weekend. I wanted this so badly, as I knew I needed something like this to find myself.

It was the end of the semester, and I had once again achieved the first rank in my year. The long-awaited announcement was finally here. Where we were going was revealed. I was eager to go to Alberta, but I had no idea we would hike the Valley of Ten Peaks. The time had finally arrived, and I had the most exhilarating experience. Before the end of the hike, I had managed to recollect and relive all these memories. When I finally reflected on everything, I realized I needed to move on, and I needed the experience to grow.

We were almost towards the end of the hike, and I heard frightening sounds. I heard a roar of an avalanche coming at us with all its might. It roared violently, warning us of its arrival. A large rock almost came crashing at me. While I went tumbling down the slope, Ice-Golems charged towards me. They wrestled with me till I became frozen and tapped out. I struggled to move my limbs while I watched them beat their chest in victory. It was certainly not a fair fight! A 57kg human versus a 100ton Ice-Golem. I struggled to breathe, and my whole body felt numb. Snow covered me from head to toe, and the avalanche calmed. Miraculously I managed to stand up and be fearless. There was only one answer to it all. Divine intervention? No, divine protection! Just like that everything began to make sense.

The game was over! An endless hide and seek game retreated. It was a tower moment for me, and I knew the best was coming. I also blamed myself for the never-ending mind games. When Adam chose to hide, I still wanted to seek.

It was rather fateful, and I was trapped in the icy hands of time. Those clasped and clammy hands of time directed me to a path I never explored fully. He graced me with an eternal love and the best love story ever. My happily ever after! A love that would not hide, abandon, or tear me down. A love that is powerful, deep, and rich. There is no greater relationship than the one I share with myself.

Self-love too is a basic need. What if we all committed to loving ourselves more...

We are all that we have!