New Beginnings.

The room was quiet and all was still, save for the steady beep-beeping of the blood pressure monitors and the low rise and fall whoosh of ventilators. The only noise to break the silence was the occasional rustle and squeak of the nurse’s sensible no-slip white shoes as she bustled in and out of the room, arms filled to the brim with charts and files.

Alex’s eyes slowly fluttered open and the harsh overhead tube lighting came into focus. Alex grimaced and attempted to turn to the side for a bit of relief but the tangle of tubes and wires coming from underneath his gown stopped him and he let out a low groan. The world felt distant, but present enough for him to sense the figures in the beds all around. Slowly letting his eyes wander around the room he settled on the bed just next door – the only one that seemed to have a conscious figure in it.

Sam watched as Alex slowly came to, feeling an unmistakable spark of warmth inside, but wondering how and why such a feeling should arise here, in this cold, clinical place. As their eyes met, they exchanged a groggy, tired smile – one of those shared moments between two strangers who find themselves in the same strange place. They both looked disheveled, cocooned in blankets, the remnants of surgery still palpable in the air.

“How are you feeling?” Alex mumbled, voice hoarse but kind.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck,” Sam chuckled lightly, wincing as the muscles in her chest tensed. “But, you know… in a good way?”

Alex nodded, smiling faintly. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.”

A silence followed, not awkward, but gentle. The kind that forms when two people find an unexpected connection. They had just met, yet there was something familiar – comforting even – in the brief exchange.

“I’m Sam, by the way,” Sam offered, turning her head slightly.

“Alex.”

More silence, but this time it felt like something was shifting, something deeper, like a creature stirring deep below the waters, invisible save for faint traces of currents on the water’s surface.

“You just…?” Sam’s words trailed off, but the question was clear.

Alex nodded. “Yeah. You?”

“Same. Feels like… like I’ve been waiting forever for this moment, you know?”

Alex smiled softly. “Yeah. Me too. It’s… surreal.”

They both stared at the ceiling for a moment, letting the weight of the experience sink in. The feeling of finality. The feeling of beginning again.

“Did it take you long to get here?” Sam asked, trying to move without disturbing too many sore muscles or stretch too many stitches. She could feel them down there, slowly crusting over with the promise of what lay ahead – her new future.

“You have no idea,” Alex replied, chuckling. “I’ve been fighting for this since… well, since I can remember. Growing up where I did? It wasn’t exactly an option.”

“Tell me about it.” Sam sighed. “Small town?”

“Yup. Same for you?”

“Yeah. One of those places where if you were different, you might as well have had a target on your back.”

Alex nodded in agreement, eyes drifting to the ceiling as the memories flooded back. “I was always different. I knew it from the time I could walk and talk. And no one ever let me forget it. I remember being called so many names for being… how I was. But the problem was, it was like they knew it before I even was aware… and so I was busy fighting it, fighting myself, fighting them… it was just exhausting!”

Sam's expression softened. “I get that. Every day felt like a battle. I just wanted to survive high school without breaking. I did have one good friend, though. My best friend. We were close, and… well, I don’t really know what happened after high school. We had one drunken night together during Senior Week but it didn’t seem to make any sense because we were both gay so there was no way I wanted to be with her! We just lost touch after that.”

Alex smiled, a knowing look in his eyes, but tinged with a mild discomfort. “Same. I had this best friend, too. He was the only person who made me feel normal, like I didn’t have to hide. And SAME! We also had an encounter that turned everything awkward – I guess there is some truth to that adage that we all go through the same things as queer kids, though I thought I was alone on this one.”

“Funny how life works, right?” Sam mused. “Looking back now, I wish I’d said something after that happened – at least to make it less awkward. Maybe we would’ve stayed in touch, maybe she would’ve understood. But it felt impossible back then. Like the whole world would have fallen apart.”

“Same here,” Alex said, the echo of their shared pain lingering between them. “I lost touch with him after graduation. Life moved on, I guess.”

“Yeah, me too,” Sam said, her voice tinged with regret. “Sometimes I think about her, though. Wonder what she’d think if she knew the real me. The ‘me’ I am now. You see… I never opened up and told her I was, y’know… trans…”

Alex’s lips twitched into a small smile. “You and me… same WhatsApp group – it’s like we lived the same life in different places!! I think about that, too. But I guess it’s too late now. He probably wouldn’t even recognise me.”

Sam smiled back, a soft laugh escaping. “Same. I barely recognise myself.”

The room fell quiet again, the low hum of the monitors and distant noise of the Nurse’s Station filling the space between them. For a few brief moments they were both lost in thought – thinking of connections and lives gained and lost in the space of years elapsed, and the transience of their own experiences. But there was something that Alex just couldn’t seem to shake… a nagging thought just at the very back of his skull, where your lizard brain resides.

“You know,” Alex started haltingly, breaking the silence, “there’s something about you that feels really familiar. Like I’ve met you before.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Are you a mind reader?? I was just thinking the same thing.”

They laughed, the absurdity of it all dawning on them. But then Alex’s expression shifted, a furrow forming between his brows. A flicker of recognition sparked in his eyes.

“Wait a second,” Alex said slowly, his voice tinged with disbelief. “You didn’t happen to go to Schenectady High, did you?”

Sam’s eyes widened, the pieces falling into place. “Oh my God… Alex? Alexandra Turner? LEXY!? Is that really you??”

Alex’s jaw dropped, and he laughed in utter shock. “Sam? As in… Samuel Riley? There’s no way this is you sitting in front of me!”

For a moment, they just stared at each other, mouths open, minds reeling as years of memories came flooding back. The long-forgotten high school years, the shared secrets, the late-night talks, the fallout from that drunken night they’d spent in each other’s arms… and the awkwardness that came creeping in with the dawn the next morning.

“I can’t believe this,” Alex said, still laughing, shaking his head. “We were best friends. How did I not recognise you??”

“Yeah,” Sam admitted, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment and amusement. “Well I mean to be fair, I didn’t have all of this back then.” She flipped her hair lightly, grimacing as her stitches pulled again. “Plus I mean, it was so awkward after that night and it’s been so long. So I never said anything after we parted ways the next morning because… well, you know.”

Alex grinned, feeling his heart flutter with the thrill of this impossible coincidence – this sudden rush of recognition almost hitting him harder than the last dregs of anaesthesia. “I mean of course not! You were gay and I was a lesbian… What was there to say? I do?”

“Sure,” Sam uttered sheepishly, looking at the wall. “But really I guess it all just confused me so much. I mean, I was always happy to be out as a gay guy – but I still hadn’t really figured out that I was a girl too…”

“Come on,” Alex muttered gently, “you think I’d figured out I was actually a dude under all that butch performance? Not at all! I just figured that out this past year!”

They both sat there, dumbfounded, the reality of their shared history hitting them all at once. Everything made sense now – the connection, the familiarity, the ease with which they had opened up to each other so suddenly,  in this, of all places.

“I can’t believe we’re sitting here,” Sam said, shaking her head. “After all these years. And after everything…”

“I know,” Alex said softly. “It’s like… we’ve come full circle.”

They smiled at each other, the room suddenly feeling lighter, warmer. The awkwardness that had once kept them apart no longer existed. They were free – free to be themselves, free to express feelings they’d hidden for so long.

“Well this is a random question…” Sam mumbled, “but do you still… you know… like…”

“Girls??” Alex blurted out, “Of course! You know I was always girl crazy back in the day haha.”

“Some thing never change,” Sam chuckled. “I also haven’t changed my interests, but it’s really weird to think that I guess I’m ‘straight’ now.”

“Right??” Alex nodded knowingly, “I think that’s going to be the biggest change for me in all of this, and I haven’t really figured out how I’ll have to ‘come out’ all over again… not only as a man, but as a straight man. It just feels like such a massive adjustment – but I know it’ll come naturally eventually.”

Another period of near silence elapsed, the machines beeping and whooshing in a strangely synchronous rhythm as the two old friends sat in a sort of shared reverie.

“So…” Sam started, eyes glinting with excitement. “What now? We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

Alex smiled, feeling a warmth he hadn’t felt in years. “I think we do. How about we start with coffee? And then maybe… see where this goes?”

“Deal.” Sam grinned, sliding her legs over the side of the bed and holding out her hands tenderly, still afraid of the pain she was feeling in so many sensitive areas. “We can spend the morning together this time.”

Alex, sitting up to face her, took them, squeezing gently, and they sat together, years of awkward silence melted like so much ice in the brief instant that had transpired in their shared experience.

The future stretched out ahead of them, filled with hope, friendship, and the possibility of something more.