Cracked Ice

Imogen looked out at the crisp white snow that rested peacefully upon her large garden from her window. The roses were lined in little flakes of frost, and icicles clung with ease to her gutter. Last night’s blizzard had brought the silence of late January to her hometown. Christmas was long gone, and so had all the mirth of the holiday season. She had no intention of going out. This time of the year had a melancholy feel to it. Especially this year. She was eighteen now, but still lived with her parents. Ten years. Ten years since the accident that had tipped her life upside down. Tears spilled from her eyes as she remembered Ashley.

He had been her best friend since their birth. They were born on the same day, at the same time, and, as Imogen had no siblings, Ashley had been the brother she’d never had. She’d loved him with all her heart. Hot tears began to spill over, and her chest heaved in great sobs. Imogen opened the window to let in the air that would cool her burning face. Tear after tear splashed onto the sill, melting the snow like bullets. She closed the window, and stared at her reflection for a minute. People said she was very pretty. People liked her because of her looks. She knew better than most that beauty was usually just skin deep, but they still loved her.

Silent as a ghost, she padded across the carpet, opened the well-oiled door, and looked through the landing window over the street. There was Mr Smith, the grocer, and Mrs Cooke, the baker. Again, her reflection gazed back at the pretty girl with puffy, raw eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. Oh Ashley! Why?

*Flashback*

Imogen looked into Ashley’s vivid, blue, laughing eyes, and acknowledged his big, goofy grin, and she beamed back. She reached for her ice skates, which hung on hook by the front door. Just out of reach. Ashley, who was that little bit taller, stretched up and managed to unhook them. He passed them to her, and she beamed even wider.

“Thanks Ashy.” she said, pulling him into a big bear hug.

“No problem Immy,” his eyes twinkled, and he hugged her back.

*End of flashback*

Imogen stared into the space just above the grocer’s. Cold, blue sky. Bluer than her tears, colder than the numbness so close to her heart, in that special place where lost ones went. Turning back, she took the wooden steps down to the ground floor, into the living room. A fire burned in the grate, and the armchairs surrounded it like a family. In the chairs were Imogen’s actual family, and they just gazed into the flames. It was a naturally quiet day, and of course they were also feeling for Imogen. She took her new skates of the hook that was so easy to reach now. She crept out of the same front door as she had ten years earlier, and walked out along the path. It was the coldest winter anyone could remember, and the frozen puddle she trod on didn’t give beneath her weight. To avoid the busy streets, she kept to the fields. Imogen swung her legs over the final stile, and gazed at the frozen lake in front of her. The memories flooded in like storm clouds.

*Flashback*

Immy swung her other leg over the stile, and waited for Ashley to follow. She hadn’t stopped smiling since leaving the house. He arrived just behind her, but his foot slipped on the frosty step. He let out a shriek, and toppled backwards into Immy, his arms pinwheeling, and sent them both flying into a tall drift of soft snow. They both made a synchronised ‘umph’ upon landing, then burst out laughing. Ashley climbed out of the crater he had made in drift, and, still laughing helplessly, hauled Immy out too. Her cheeks and nose were flushed from the cold, and her eyes shone brightly. He took her hand, and they ran the last few hundred metres on the icy path to the frozen lake.

*End of flashback*

She allowed a single forlorn tear to fall from her green eyes. Imogen walked slowly towards the lake. Ten years since she had walked this path, but she still knew it like the back of her mittened hand. She held the skates in her right hand, and her left clenched at the air slightly, as if still hoping for the warmth of Ashley’s hand to envelop hers. Imogen had long strides now, and before she knew it, she was stood at the edge of the ice. She glanced back at the trail, and wondered if it had always been that short. A deep, shuddering sigh rattled through her chest, and out of her cracked, sore lips. Sometimes, she felt that he was looking down at her from the sky, or standing beside her, just out of sight, so that if she turned, he would disappear again.

*Flashback*

They were at the very edge of the lake. Immy tugged at his hand, giggling, “C’mon Ashy! What are you waiting for?”

He grinned back and replied, “ I was waiting for you!”

They took off their wellies, replacing them with the skates. They were sturdy and new, liable to pinch if worn for too long. As soon as the laces were done, Immy and Ashley tottered out onto the pond. Ashley, who had never had any sense of balance, lost his footing straight away. Immy bent double, laughing uncontrollably, which resulted in her losing her footing also, so they were both sprawled on the ice. She got up, and offered Ashley her hand, and pulled him back up.

*End of flashback*

Imogen bent over, as these new memories came at her, and each was like a dagger being shoved at her heart. The tears flowed like a flash flood, and landed in the snow around her, boring holes into the powder. “No! Please!” she gasped, “make it stop!” But she had to go on. She just had to.

*Flashback*

They pushed off, Immy scraping slightly wavy lines into the surface of the frozen water, Ashley going in a more erratic pattern, zigg-zagging around like a demented dragonfly. His marks were punctuated here and there by small crack, from the many times he fell over. The adults watched from Ashley’s house, just across the lake. He waved cheerily at them, and lost his balance again, spread-eagled on the ice. Immy skated over yet again to help him up, but the cracks beneath him spread further than previously, and his eyes grew wide. She stopped, unsure of herself, then the whole thing collapsed under his weight. Immy screamed and started to skate closer to the edge. “NO IMMY!” Her mum yelled from across the path. Ashley’s mum was already on the ice, rushing to rescue her child. A body floated to the surface, and bobbed there peacefully. Ashley. His lips were blue, his skin deathly pale. Immy skidded on her knees towards him, and hauled him out. Cold water sloshed out of his mouth. Immy pulled him back to the edge, helped by his mother. Tears filled her eyes. “Will he be OK Mrs Jones?” she said in a very small voice.

“I honestly don’t know, love.” his mum replied. Immy sobbed slightly, then ran and clung to her mothers legs, and sobbed into the denim. “Please.”

A hospital room. Strip lighting clung to the clinic’s roof. Ashley had been dead for two hours now, and Immy wandered about the corridors, crying like a little lost ghost. She didn’t know or care where she was going. She was lost anyway. Blurry eyed, she sat on a bench outside a patient’s ward. All she felt was cold.

*End of flashback*

Imogen wrestled back the onslaught of tears. She pulled off her wellies, and tugged on her new skates, which were liable to pinching if worn for too long. She toddled tentatively onto the frozen lake. The ice held. She smiled, and, for a moment, it was like the old Immy had come back.