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Fiction Funny

I, Mrs. F., was getting ready to read one of my new books titled The Fox’s Adventure. There was a fire in the fireplace, my favorite rocking chair with a blue quilted throw blanket, an end table with a lamp, a cup of hot cocoa and two chocolate chip cookies on a plate, a blue, flowery throw rug, and Mr. F.’s recliner chair was to the right of mine. Mr. F. was at the newest zombie movie with Mr. E.

             Once there was a fox named Ember. She lived a nice quiet life, but one day she was wanting a bit more. She told her blue bird friend, Breeze, about it.

             “You should go and find a unicorn to help you find an adventure.” Breeze suggested.

             “Heeeeellooooo, Heartbeat!!!!” My husband greeted as he interrupted my reading. “You missed a really great movie!”

             He grabbed a cookie, sat down on his chair, and started to tell the story. “It started out with a necromancer in a graveyard.”

             “So, it starts with a villain, or….” I started to ask.

             “Yes, but this part is the main hero’s nightmare, and the guy wakes up when a hand reaches out from the grave.” He continued and started to eat one of my cookies.

             “Should I get another plate?” I inquired.

             “No, I’ll get it.” He jumped from the chair and left the room.

             The unicorn lived in a cave in the middle of the woods.

             “What part are you at?” Mr. F. enquired as he looked over my shoulders at my book.

             “Ember is traveling through the woods and has to pass three trials to even be considered as worthy enough to even visit the unicorn. Now, you know that platter is too big to be placed on this small end table.” I answered. Then, he handed me the platter, and kissed my forehead.

             “This demands an adjustment!” He determined, and left the room, again. I started to move the chairs, and the end table so that we would have more room for this idea of his.

             When, I was finished rearranging the furniture, he came in with a picnic blanket, more quilts, more snacks, sodas, and pillows.

             “You should’ve…” He began as he looked around the room.

             “You seemed to have wanted to get the snacks, so I thought that I should do this.” I explained.

             “The hero of the zombie movie was in love with the main lady, but he had a curse placed upon him since he was a baby.” He continued describing the movie as we were arranging the pillows and blankets about the room.

             “Who would curse a baby, and why?” I voiced.

             “A witch who was insulted by his parents. Maybe we should make a fort?” He suggested as he looked around.

             “The last time we did that, the entire thing collapsed on us, and Mrs. A. barged in.” I reminded.

             “I should make sure all of the doors and windows are locked.” He resolved and left. I sat down, ate a few things, drank a sip of the cocoa, rested my head on a pillow, and started reading again.

             Ember saved the pixie, helped the gnome, and solved the fish’s riddle, so was finally deemed worthy to be in the presence of the unicorn.

             *** I, Mr. F., found Mrs. F. asleep when I got back. The best thing to do is to place a blanket on top of the asleep wife, and that is what I did. Then, I started to eat. Sadly, when I opened my soda, she woke up.

             “Bumblebee, I don’t want a fort today.” She yawned.

             “The men in the movie had to use magicked cloth to cover the entire town to keep the zombies from attacking, and I thought that….” I began.

             “That sounds stupid.” She moaned. “And what did I say about getting ideas from movies?”

             I laughed, and then claimed, “You know you enjoyed it.”

             She hid under the blanket and giggled. I decided to capture her in a hug.

             “Do you have air in there?” I quired. Her head popped out from the blanket, and she kissed my hand. So, I scooped her up, she yipped, and I sat down with her in my arms.

             “When was the last time you allowed me to finish a book?” She accused.

             “When was the last time we saw a movie together?” I replied.

             “Last week, we went to that superhero movie together, and you know I can’t watch a zombie movie without having nightmares.” She reminded. I was about to say something, but there was a knock at the door. “Please, free me before you answer it.”

             I released her, got up, and went to the door.

             “Hi, Mr. F. is Mrs. F. home?” Mrs. A. greeted when I answered the door. She held a pot of spaghetti in her hands, and she went straight to the kitchen.

             “Yea, what is up?” I answered.

             “Mrs. A.? I’m still trying to finish that book….” My wife started.

             “I have another suggestion for you. It is about two wives whose husbands were….” Mrs. A. started.

             “You know that I don’t like stories about cheaters, or whatever marriage drama….” My wife began.

             “Yes, but this story is different. The two have the perfect idea about how to get revenge.” She replied.

             “Is this….” I began.

             “Your husband is so nosy. You know that trait can be annoying. But, I almost forgot; I would like to officially invite the both of you to the annual bake sale. I hear that Miss Juliet is going to make her lemon bars. Mr. Danny always says that they are his favorite. Do you think there is a thing between them?” Mrs. A. gossiped.

             “I think that they have to say something to me before I…” My wife diplomatically said.

             “Yes, yes, but they are in desperate need of…” Mrs. A. began.

             “Did Mr. A. see the new zombie movie?” I wondered.

             “Is that what you and Mr. E. were watching? Mrs. F., I can’t believe that you would allow him to watch…” Mrs. A. criticized.

I kissed the hand of my wife and bade “I had better see to things.”

*** When Mrs. A. finally remembered something that she had to do, and left, I, Mrs. F., went back to Mr. F. in the fireplace room. He had made the fort, he fell asleep, and the fort had already fallen upon him. I uncovered his head and kissed his cheek. That woke him up.

“I had a dream of the hero from the movie, a fox, and a zombie. The zombie was crying because her husband was cheating, and they had to find the unicorn to make things correct.” He relayed.

“And that was most likely the best ending of all. Come on, let’s clean up, and start eating the dinner she brought.” I said. We did and had weirder dreams that night. The End.

August 12, 2023 22:18

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2 comments

Delbert Griffith
10:58 Aug 19, 2023

This was a really fun tale, Amanda. Very engaging. The dialogue was good and the plot was wonderful. Nicely done. One thing: After Mr. F speaks, you followed this up with "He determined" twice. You might want to change one of those. Cheers!

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Amanda Cedeno
18:47 Aug 22, 2023

Thanks.

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