Within a dream

A gentle breeze blew across her face, she could feel the dirt beneath her back, and hear the gentle trickling of the river. “What are you doing down there” A teasing voice came from above, for some reason this voice both comforted her but also strangely caused her to feel the pain of longing. 

As she lifted herself off the dirt and began to look around she thought she heard something “Wak…” it seemed to say, but then a hand gently tapped her shoulder shaking her from her thoughts, instinctively she grabbed the wrist and swiftly threw the person rolling on top of them reaching for her upper thigh where she kept her knife. But nothing was there, why did she think a knife was there? Why did she ever need a knife?

“Jaz? Whoa…Easy…Sorry to scare you” The voice chuckled, she looked down to inspect the voice and her heart leaped with both joy and sorrow, but she didn’t know why she felt that way. . .Finally, the face floated to the front of her mind and she recognised him it was her love, Noah. Some part of her was screaming at her that this was impossible, but she didn’t know why, the joy of seeing him was overwhelming. He was just like she remembered his black wavey hair, and beautiful autumn hazel eyes that sparkled with mischief.“Jaz…” He gasped tapping her hand. 

Without realising it she had been throttling him, she released her grip from his throat but continued to sit on him watching him closely. “Noah! How? Why? Where?” She stammered.

“Do you not remember? Wow.. That hurts…” he placed his hands on his heart. “Think I will die now out of pain… To think you would forget our engagement party oh how I'm wounded.” He joked. “Oh, the sorrow!”

Jazcyn frowned down at him, searching her mind but it felt like a large fog had descended over it she could not recall anything, but something was wrong. “We're engaged?” she asked her heart leaping with joy pushing down her suspicions.

“Oh the pain keeps coming” He whined before giving her a wink, she punched his chest weakly. “Ow…Jaz wait are you being serious now” his joking attitude completely gone and his eyes were full of concern and he gently brushed a few of her long blonde hairs out of her face. His touch sent jolts of electricity down her body, tears began to fall. He slid out from beneath her and embraced her.

“It's ok…Let's go see your mother she will know something, perhaps you have been cursed by something she will have a spell to bring back your memories. Or perhaps Liam will? He's come back for this special party, taking a break from his studies.” Hearing of her mother a new tidal wave of sadness washed over her. Her apprehension only grew but now more than anything she wanted her mum. “Let's go!” Noah said gently and took her by the hand.

Jazcyn cast a look at the river behind her and for a moment her reflection seemed strange, in her reflection she was wearing knight armour her fist hammering against the water yelling something but just as quickly as it appeared, the reflection disappeared and was replaced with Noah holding her hand.

Noah led her to what appeared to be some kind of festival, there were all kinds of food, stalls, performances like acrobats and even mages showing all sorts of tricks and illusions to the crowd, and people dancing in the street to live music it was a completely surreal scene to behold, it was not just humans, but elves, dwarfs, centaurs and even demons she had come to befriend over the years. 

Her best friend Queen Aurelia was dancing with the son of the Demon Lord Prince Karrich, as she walked through the festivities and everyone stopped to congratulate her one by one. Aureli hugged her tightly saying “It’s about time you two got engaged! Not like you to be scared Jazzie! Not after the grand victory! You are the world's hero there is no reason for anyone to fight anyone you have done it! Thanks to you we can build the new kingdom into a golden age for all generations to come!” Jazcyn was at a complete loss for what to say. The thought of having a peaceful world after everything she had been through, all the hardships, all the pain, suffering and scars she earned had all been worth it for this moment.

“Jaz my darling baby girl!” A familiar voice yelled and Jaz felt tears again falling down her face, why was she being such a crybaby she never normally cried.

 Before she could respond she was tackled in a hug by her mother, Jazcyn was as tall as her now, how long had it been since she saw her? But that was wrong surely her mother was always around, hugging her mother had been a dream of hers for so long that it filled her with happiness. Which caused more conflict within her mind, her mother was here and now why would she be dreaming of hugging her?

Her mother separated from her, which hurt Jazcyn's heart she wanted to remain in her mother's arms for a little bit longer. “I can’t believe my baby girl is growing up and getting married! I’m so happy for you! Oh, you got your dress all dirty… Why do you have to be such a tomboy? For one day can you keep your dress clean? Just one single day surely that's not too much to ask? What will your father say honestly? But that's why we have magic eh?” Her mother chided her gently looking amused before waving her staff and Jazcyns dress was fully cleaned. She missed her mother's gentle chiding, it felt like years since she had last done it, and what she would not give to hear more of it, she missed the little shows of magic her mother always did, fresh tears fell down her face but she didn’t know why.

Everything felt strange like she was reaching into the fog in the middle of a quagmire but the more she wanted to remain here the more it felt like she was becoming stuck almost like she was sinking and being weighed down. Something was telling her something was wrong but even that feeling was slowly diminishing falling into the depths of her mind. 

“Yo Sis the black phoenix foretold your arrival!” The voice of her brother Liam called above the crowd, as he stuck a ridiculous pose. Jazcyn had to hold back a snort as her brother appeared, he was dressed just like their mother in magic robes, with a staff and his stupid little top knot, she forgot about this phase he went through as a teenager and how much she teased him, but something was missing from his appearance, but her mind drew a blank when she tried to recall what it was. She remembered how while she was called her father's clone, her brother was called her mother's clone. Seeing the two together was like a knife in the heart.

“I thought you grew out of that phase years ago!” She exclaimed, and everything seemed to shake, she looked around wildly. “Did you feel that..was it an earth shake? Or some kind of magic?”

“What are you talking about sister? I sense no darkness around us, if there was, my darkness would defeat the darkness!” Liam stated as he struck a pose, she groaned slightly before chuckling at his behaviour, memories of her and Aurelia teasing him for the phase he went through. Memories arose of how he used to get all red-faced when embarrassed and more than once he got his revenge with magic but no matter what happened between them he was always her cute little brother and she protected him.

“By the gods is that what they say about dark pasts, is that how you see me, sister? Please… stop thinking of me like that! I beg you to allow me to please wipe these memories for my own sanity… That me should never be remembered” Liam ranted from behind her but that was not right as he was standing in front of her, she turned to see this other Liam, like the other Liam he was dressed in full magic robes and was carrying their mothers' magic staff, but unlike the Liam acting silly, doing poses and magic for the crowd generally being the life of the party. 

This Liam had a scar on his face and his aura was as sharp as a knife, his eyes were calculating, and it felt like he was an old veteran warrior despite being only eighteen. He fell to his knees in embarrassment as his counterpart continued to do poses and sprout cheesy lines.

“Liam what…How?” She asked, her head switching between the two.

He got to his feet and approached her placing a hand on her shoulder “Sister… we don’t have much time. We need to go now!” She brushed off his hand.

“Go where? Look Liam everyone is here! Everyone is happy! Everyone is safe, there is no war here…None is dead! Mum is here look!” She pointed to their mother. Everything shook once more and something appeared out of the woods a horrifying monster she instinctively went for her sword but it was not there leaving her to wonder why she went for a sword. Strangely no one but her saw it and continued their festivities her head began to hurt it felt like her head was splitting in two.

Liam looked at their mother with a wistful expression “Is that what she looked like…?” He asked wistfully before he shook his head and continued “ I wish I could have known her…” he closed his eyes and took a deep breath “Dad will be here soon but you need to wake up…You are being trapped by a Dream Eater…That thing there if that creature gets you in here you will be consumed completely, I’ll hold it off you focus on waking up, for once I will protect you, big sis!” Before she could stop him he jumped in the air and began to fly before bombarding the monster with spells.

It was a strange feeling watching her little brother go to fight, it should have been her fight, she made a promise to her mother before… Before what she could not remember… Why could she not remember, was this real? Was this fake, everyone surrounded her, her breathing became rapid she felt panicked.

“Jaz come here!” A gruff voice said and pulled her into an embrace and she felt safe, recognising who it was. Gradually she began to calm down. 

“Dad…Mum and everyone here…They are safe! We kept them safe… I wish we could stay here forever…In this happiness” She said as she wept into his chest. “Please don’t tell me this is a lie… I don’t want this to be a lie…I want this to be a reality… I want Mum back…I want to tell Noah how I feel about him”

“I know sweetie…I know” Her father took a deep breath “Jaz…Look at me and listen closely…” She looked up at her father, he lifted her chin and looked directly into her eyes. “This is not real…No matter how much you might want it to be…I know it hurts…But this is not real… That is not your mother” He winced for a moment and she could tell the immense pain he was feeling. “You were there… You witnessed something no child should ever witness… Nothing I do will ever be enough to atone for my failure…I couldn't protect her.”

At his words memories sprang from her mind she relived that day the day the angels attacked. She could hear the screams, she could see the fires of her burning home, her friends dying to them. The feathered bastards had done everything in their power to try and kill them, all because her dad according to them, was the reincarnation of a fallen angel and got scared he would reawaken to his former powers. Her intense feelings of hatred of anger threatened to consume her once more.

As these memories came back the people of the festival seemed to fall away into ash and dust. She remembered how Noah had died to protect her in battle, she regretted never being able to tell him how she felt, to not be able to experience life with him. Why did everyone die to protect her? Why was she always so powerless…?

Before she could say anything Liam came crashing down next to them. “You good?” Their dad asked, releasing her to look at Liam, seeing her little brother thrown by that monster annoyed her only she was allowed to throw her little brother around! Liam lay on his back groaning. “Hey…Dad why is there three of you…” 

Their dad sighed “You have not been keeping up with your training…Come on up you get!” He walked over and yanked Liam to his feet and turned once more to her. “Jaz… We will go and handle Hynos little pet.”

“What is it?” She asked

“It is a collection of your worst fears, Memories, and Trauma… This is why we cannot defeat it and only delay it, it will disperse once you wake up, however, should it reach you it will attempt to consume you and eat away all your consciousness leaving you an empty husk.”

The thought of her dad going to face that monster-filled her with despair she could not lose him… Not like she lost her mother. “Dad no…Please…You don’t need to..”

“Jazcyn, Liam let me make this crystal clear for you two, no matter the threat, no matter the danger I will stand between you and it. Be it human, monster, devil, or even those bastard gods, I will protect you both till my last breath.”

With a backward wave, he marched off to face the creature dragging Liam along by his collar. “Are you really just going to stand here and do nothing? Did you forget the promise we made?” A harsh but familiar voice spoke from behind her. 

It was the her from the river, the one dressed in full armour, her blonde hair cut short. A gaze so sharp and intense it was hard to look at. Her face was filled with disappointment and contempt “Since when did we like frilly dresses? We never cared for that before! Don't tell me this dream eater makes up falsehoods as well! We promised to get stronger, we swore we would build a new world where everyone would be equal. Was all that for nothing? To believe sweet lies, what is the point of happiness that we have not earned and built for ourselves?! Happiness is not given on a silver platter! It's not some participation trophy, it is not just given freely because of how much someone has suffered, this all here right now is but a deluded fantasy!”

Jazcyn didn’t know what to say she started “I never wanted to fight…” 

“Shut up you idiot!” The other her screamed at her. 

“Don’t call me an idiot!”

“If I want to call myself an idiot I will call myself an idiot! We chose this path, ever since we could walk we chose the path of the knight, to fight and protect what we care for, to be a hero just like Dad! To adventure and explore the world! To find hidden treasures and solve mysteries like our Mother! We chose to fight when what we cared for was threatened! We have sacrificed so much! So don't you dare diminish everything we worked for, the scars we have earned! What would Mum and Noah say? They gave their lives so we could carry on living are you going to just throw all that away because you feel sad?!” The other her approached her and as she did all of her memories returned, she felt ashamed of herself for a moment and gave herself a small slap, the fires of determination began to grow into a roaring inferno.

The other her stood right before her barely a nose apart “You are me and I am you, perhaps a part of me I never realised, I now know truly what our heart wants and that is a world where everyone is equal, where everyone can smile and laugh. It won't be easy but it is something to strive for now how about we go out and fight for our future? I honestly can’t help being a little naive can I…?” The other her offered her hand and upon taking it the other her merged with her and she found herself in the armour, with her beloved sword at her side.

“Let's go I have a dream that I need to make into a reality” She smiled to herself. Mum, Noah and the countless others who died would never return to life, she would never see them again, but they would still always be a part of her. Her wish for a happy life with those she loved was empty without the conviction to see it through, she didn’t need a dream to obtain that happiness, she had the means to make her dreams come to with her own two hands and she was going to do everything within her power to achieve that with the people she loved by her side.

Her Dad and Liam were doing what they could to keep problems at bay, but only she could be the one to defeat them, with a determined smile she drew her sword and charged into the fight, the memories of her loved ones beside her.