5 comments

Fiction Funny

Who is this Writer?

The writing professor had asked for John to stay after class as he had a “special assignment” for him. John wondered what it could be. His marks were pretty good so far, and he didn’t want to do something that might lower his grade.

“John, I’m sure that you are wondering what my ‘special assignment’ is for you. First off, I want to tell you that I think that you write well. I know that you want to be a reporter, so I thought I would give you this assignment to help you take a step forward towards your future career. I have given one similar to it to other students, and it helped them on their writer’s path.

Here is what I want you to do. I want you to record a public speaker who does not know that you are taping him. I have chosen as the person someone from the biology department: Professor Ralph Kidder. He will be making a presentation to a group of people who work for Natural Resources.

He is doing this in the university theatre on Friday. There is a room close by from which you can tape what he says. Then I want you to select parts of his speech that you think best represents what he is trying to say. Type them up and put your own commentary in it as well. The whole presentation should be at least 500 words, no less, and no more than 800 words.

           What do you think John?”

           “I like it professor. It sounds like it would be fun. I have an interest in wildlife. I grew up on a farm, and saw my fair share of wild animals. I am a big fan of Farley Mowat’s “Never Cry Wolf”, Gerald Durrell’s “My Family and Other Animals,” and other such wildlife books.”

Before and During the Presentation

           John arrived early, so it he could set up his recording device without being noticed. After he had done this, he began to hear two people talking together. He peeped around the curtains and saw the one he recognized as the person who was going to be making the presentation. So he turned his recording device on.  This might give him some material for his paper.  In the present situation the speaker was the one doing almost all of the talking. The other fellow just meekly agreed, probably nodding his head a lot while he did so. And at the centre of his commentary were some rather nasty remarks about the dean of the biology department:

           “His last name is Rabbat, which is appropriate because he rather resembles a rabbit, both physically and intelligently. He probably has four toes on both of his feet like some rabbits have. And I swear he twitches his nose when he speaks.”

           John knew, having assisted in trying to rescue a baby bunny a little less than a year ago, that the back legs of a rabbit has four toes. He shook his head at all the insulting things that speaker said. He reckoned, however that the kind of stuff that the speaker was spewing out might make for good copy, probably much better than anything that he would say publicly and therefore with words more carefully chosen. After the presenter finished his commentary, John turned his recording device off. 

           He turned it back on when the man walked out from behind the curtains, was introduced and began his official presentation, but what he had to say was severely toned down regarding what he said about his boss.  He had even given some watered down praise for him.  It was rather dull and boring as well.   John thought ‘What a hypocrite this guy is.’ 

Writing His Assignment

           After John went back home, and listened to both recordings a couple of times, he decided that his piece could centre on the differences between what the presenter had said privately and what he said in public. He felt that this could make for a really good story.

           Over the weekend he put his paper together, and gave it the name, “Two Faces Have I”. On Monday morning he went to hand it in to his teacher, but the professor wasn’t in, so he just put a printed copy on the teacher’s desk. He went to that office several times that day, but was told that the professor was not in that day.

           The next day he received a call from the professor, who asked him to come to his office. He told John that he had read the paper, but made no comment about it over the phone.  When John did come to the office, the professor said that he had two opposing feelings about the piece. One, he stated that he thought that it was well-written and insightful, and he would be granted a high mark on that count. Two, that it should not be published with his name on it, as it could be called libellous.  He would make an enemy that he would not want to have.  To return to the positive side, he said that he should submit it, but under an assumed name, a nom de plume. 

           John thought for a few moments and came up with the name Henri Higgins, as he liked the play “My Fair Lady”. The professor thought that it was a fine idea, as the person being written about was highly unlikely to know the name or the play.

The Publication of the Story

John submitted his story to the university newspaper. They laughed when they caught the name, rightly reckoning that it wasn’t the writer’s real name. When they read the text, which they liked, they knew that this was a nom de plume to protect the writer.

When Ralph the person being written about read the piece – someone had told him about it, as he rarely read the university newspaper or much of anything else—he was very angry. He asked the chief editor of the paper “Who is this Henry Higgins?” The editor had go keep a straight face and not burst out laughing. He said that he hadn’t yet met the man, but the editorial staff all agreed that he was a good writer. Ralph turned around and stomped away, determined to find this Henry Higgins fellow and give him a severe talking to.

May 14, 2024 14:08

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5 comments

Trudy Jas
19:00 May 15, 2024

Great story, John. And hopefully "Henry" will learn the difference between news and gossip before he graduates. :-)

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John Steckley
11:56 May 16, 2024

Thanks again Trudy. I would hope that he would learn the difference between news and gossip. There are many reporters that don't.

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Trudy Jas
13:43 May 16, 2024

So true. My ex was a newspaper reporter. He quoted one council member who used an impolite word to address another council member. It probably was the most exciting council meeting he had attended, anyway, my ex and the paper were sued for libel -they won, but it was a tense time at home.

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John Steckley
13:59 May 16, 2024

I can imagine it was tense. Most of my writing is academic non-fiction, and I had to learn to be careful when criticizing the words and views of older academics.

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Trudy Jas
15:34 May 16, 2024

Now there's a prickly lot. I lasted but two years in academia and went back working in psychiatry. At those people know they need help. :-)

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