I don't want to remember m'y past

Samer felt pain in his entire organs trying to open his eyes for the first time in six months , but the feeling of helplessness accompanied him in his attempt but nevertheless opened them to feel the smell of medicines, to find around him a lot of medical devices .

Try raised his voice but the doctor didn't hear him at first.

He raised his voice again, speaking in Arabic, the doctor heard it but did not understand what Samer said

but the doctor said:

 "What are you trying to say?" 

Samer realized It's in a foreign country, and he spoke English.

" How long have I been here ? " Samer .

"About six months" doctor.

 "Six months of sleep " samer.

 "Yes, I was in a coma, and you weren't asleep, and I think it's a God's miracle, since you're talking to me right now " doctor.

"But why don't I mention anything ? "  Samer .

"  Your identity is unknown. You were found at sea by fishermen and we don't know anything about you " doctor .

"but I don't remember anything." Samer .

"We only found a picture of you with your name, Samar, and only, no address, no ID, but your name indicates that you're an Arab. I have to wait a week for your memory to come back  " doctor.

" I really hope so, Dr  " Samer. 

Samar kept meditating on the roof of his room, trying to remember who he was or anything he could identify himself with, but to no avail. 44-year-old Samer, tall, black hair, honey eyes and brunette skin.

But what baffled the doctors was that his body was filled with non-ancient injuries all over his body to conclude that they were the result of torture.

The investigators also concluded that he was a refugee from one of the conflict countries .several hypotheses were made by the investigators about Samer because they did not come to any conclusion in the hope that someone would identify him and they showed his photos to the refugees living in Australia, but to no avail.

Samer woke up in a panic and could not distinguish the dream from reality in a breakdown.

Leave me, leave me alone, stay away from my wife and children Salma Salma, Lara Lar, Akram Akram " He kept yelling and screaming until he slept with a sedative syringe.

" Good morning, Mr. Samer. How good was your sleep" Nurse.

" Yeah, yeah, my sleep was normal " , Samer. 

"Don't you remember what happened last night " Nurse. 

" No, as far as I know, I don't remember, just the last thing that happened was I talked to the police and they asked me a few questions about this Injuries in my body and just"Samer said .

" It's okay. The doctor will be here in an hour. Relax and doesn't care "  the nurse.

" It seems that his memories started to come back and what happened last night wasn't a dream but he is reality refuses to remember it , And apparently, it's a painful memory that made his memory hard to remember " doctor .

"Does that mean he's the one who refuses to get his memory back? " Commissioner .

" Yes, and starkly, his painful memories are trying to get out, but since it's painful, his memory refuses to remember. He refuses to return to pain and suffering and to grief " doctor .

" But he's not like the rest of the refugees ،  He's as good in  English, and even French, and I'm surprised he speaks Portuguese" Commissioner .

" Yeah, amnesia doesn't mean he forgets everything. He remembers his name, his surname, and all the other information that was stored in his mind before she went missing " doctor .

"It's okay. we'll keep looking in the refugee centers. We may find a refugee who recognizes him " Commissioner. 

It's been more than six weeks, and I'm going to go through the same way that he doesn't remember anything, and the hospital has decided that he's completely cured, and he has to be taken to his amnesia hospital so that they can study his condition well and get another care that might induce him to remember. As doctors have said, he refuses to remember, he refuses to return with painful memories, he refuses to feel pain again through his harsh memories. 

The commissioner opened Samer's file for the last time because he could not find any refugee he knew, so the case would close but at the same time knock on his office door.

" Yes, enter the  " Commissioner.  "Sir, there's a lady who claims to know Samer " the cop.

"Really! Get her in.  immediately " Commissioner. 

A lady in the third decade of Umrah, hesitant and frightened, carrying a blue handbag and a black coat, medium-length blonde and a very tired pale face 

"Please, ma'am, sit down .tell me you're a relative of patient Samer. your full name is Susan Al-mutawak." Commissioner .

"Yeah, he's my brother, and he jumped off the cargo ship that was smuggling us from Our home to Australia," Susan .

"But was he amnesia when you emigrated from your homeland, and he seems to be educated, he is fluent in English ,French and even Portuguese."Commissioner.

"My brother is a university professor with an honorary doctorate in world literature , But his condition deteriorated after his wife and two children were killed "  Susan .

" Can I tell the whole story ? Commissioner .

 "Like I said, he's a doctor at one of our home universities, and one day my brother spoke at a lecture on democracy in the world, and it wasn't 24 hours until I got trapped. He was kidnapped with his wife and two children . We searched long at all the police stations and hospitals but to no avail " Susan .

" Unfortunately, he's amnesia and completely refuses to remember, that's what the doctors said"  the Commissioner.

 "Yeah, and two weeks after they disappeared, they were found inside their house, my brother was in a pitiful state of discipline, while his wife and two children, Lara and Akram!" Susan started crying.

"  You can stop and follow up later " Commissioner.

 "No, I'm fine, They were dead and since I am a doctor and after examining Salima and his seven-year-old daughter Lara, it turned out that they were raped It's incredible how they rape a seven-year-old girl " Susan .

" What about Samer ? " Commissioner. 

" Like I said, his condition was terrible. he stayed a whole month without food .not to mention screaming at night and not sleeping " Susan.

"I'm really sorry about what happened to him and he seems to have never endured what happened and the shock was so powerful and he doesn't want to remember, as the doctors said he would never get his memory back because he refuses to " Commissioner .

" Thank you, Commissioner. Iwant to see my brother now" Susan. 

" It's okay to give you the full support you may need " Commissioner. 

The Commissioner clicked on the officer's call "Accompany the woman to the Commissioner's rehabilitation centre " .

" Thank you for your support and interest " Susan. 

Susan went to see her brother Samer in the hope that he would recognize her.