look around

The structure calls to the clouds above as it rises to the heavens. Each detail hand pick and then craved. Each detail brought a job. Each detail meant a future for at least a couple of months. A future that someone needs. The delicately made gods with the colors to make the rainbows jealous. The colors that seem to pull from everywhere. The colors that made your favorite colors hide and quiver inside. The reds are enough to make blood look dull. To make blood look colorless. The blues are from deep with in the stars. Deep in the nebulas, their blues are from star birth. The yellows are from the sun. from their yellow leech the color out of the suns tight grip. The white temples are enough to make all of America tremble at its doors. For we have nothing like this nothing could even compare. The lake that leads up to the doors. But not before the color festival. The colors float in the air as if it was air. The explosion of colors as it slowly falls, on you, on the person next, and on everyone. It makes the rain feel dull in comparison. As the colors fall on us as the blessings also do. For I take a look around, these people half of what I have. And if that.

“miss, miss you like?” the man asks. When I look at him, I see how spoiled I am. How utterly depended of nationality I have become. I wave my Americanness around like a flag. I look down at the necklace. The beads aren’t circular. Because they are homemade. Someone spend time making these beads. Someone else spend time weaving them together. Weaving them into a masterpiece. This suddenly isn’t just a necklace, but a family dependent on whether or not I buy the necklace. This necklace is a symbol of my character.

“yes, I do like it. How much” I will give him whatever he says. If I didn’t. I wouldn’t be able to look myself in the eyes and be pleased. I still am not pleased with myself. And a part of me is frustrated with myself for going to their festival. Cause it was not mine to go to. I have no reason why they even hold the festival. I know nothing on their cultural. For I felt like it didn’t matter.

“10 dollars” only ten dollars. Doesn’t he not know how much this would for in America.

“how long did it take to make this necklace?”

“six hours”

“I will not pay you ten dollars for this.” The drop of his face was enough to tell me that my buying this necklace was dinner on the table. “I will pay you sixty dollars for it”

“no, I said ten. I do not want pity”

“this isn’t pity. This something I need to do for myself.” I said. The shame it brings me to know he thought I was giving him pity. Didn’t he know how much his time was worth. Why do we under value these people. Why do we see them as inferior?

“charlotte there you are. Are you ready to go?” Joshua asked. Joshua and I have been dating for over 3 years now. I wonder about his views on all of this. For I don’t know it I could still be with him if he does not see what I see when I look around.

“yeah I am ready to go. Here the sixty”

“sixty dollars! Why are you giving him sixty dollars?”

“because that’s how much his time means to me. Josh, he worked for it. He actually did something I don’t know if either of us could do. He toughs out this life. He worked for every penny I am giving home. Because if I had this life, I know I would appreciate the money to have someone see that I actually worked hard on what I sell.” I said. I was mad that he could say that. But I can’t control him. I can’t control on what he says. I need to let it go.

“I am sorry I yelled at you.” I said sheepishly. He looked at me really looked at me, into my soul. As if he could see how much this meant to me. This cause I was fight for enough though I wasn’t doing the best.

“come here I love you charlotte. I am sorry I don’t see this the way you do. I wish sometimes I could just take your eyes to see what you see. I just want there be a way to know every thought you’re thinking.” And with that he kissed my temple. He was so beautiful not just on the outside. he was so deep, as if he was the ocean filled with things I know, and something I might never discover, but the mysteries never seemed to stop coming.

“come on lets get out of here.” He said grabbing my arm as well as every thought and heartbeat. he was mine and I was his. Maybe we couldn’t change the world by we could leave our mark. Our notch in the belt of life. A stain in the tapestry. We walked through the streets. Everything I thought I had saw I was wrong. Maybe these people don’t actually need my help. Maybe I am just another American. Just another person who is trying to fix something that isn’t broken. because when I look around, I see kids laughing and playing. I see people in love just like us. I see parents who are beaming with smiles for their children.

“I want to live here so day.” He smiled so big. He stopped me and walked around so he saw my face.

“well I hope you will live here with me.” He got down on one knee.

“charlotte, I love you and I don’t ever plan on stopping, you lighten the world around you. You make me see things way differently than I ever did before. I can’t live without you.”

The tears started streaming down my check.

“yes I hope you will come live here India with me.”