Another Year Together

I spring out of bed. The clock informs me that it's 2:00 in the afternoon. I write a mental note on my cat themed calendar that I need to be a little more strict on waking up. I don't think my alarm on max volume is working.

It's the day before Valentines Day. One of the most important days for Luke and I besides New Years Eve. We may or may not have rented a yacht, gotten a little drunk and found ourselves almost flipping over the side and into the sea. But that was once. The other times we just hung out at the karaoke club.

I need to go shopping for the party tonight. But what's special about this year is that Luke has no idea. I mentioned we were setting up tomorrow on Valentines instead of today. I look next to me at the empty half of the bed where his body would usually rest, 60% black chocolate hair covering his face. But it isn't. He is at an interview ("football business" he said), which is perfect time for me.

I like to say I'm very good at planning surprises, but that would be a lie. When Luke and I had just started college and he was playing on the college football team, I had thrown him a surprise birthday party without telling him. He was in the middle of an important game that won the league and never showed up. When I told him later he started laughing, and we ended up staying out there skipping rocks until he needed to get back to his dorm. I remember I found a little heart etched into a tree shortly after he left. I wonder if the heart hasn't yet disappeared. I wonder if the tree is even still growing.

I get into focus. I check my plan for what I'm doing for our 40th Valentines day together. Had I only wrote it in my dreams? Like I said I'm great at planning. Fantastic. No list. I am beat. Well I should probably make the list that I only made in my dreams. I dart to the study, almost forgetting that my muscles are getting weaker. I quickly go into a downward dog to stretch, letting my straw colored hair flow to the ground. I'm quite impressed that since high school when Luke said he loved me, my hair has barely grown any grey hairs. I make a quick check in the mirror. Well I take what I said back. I have a few stands here and there. When is my hair dye package arriving?

After I'm done with looking at my body's features, I grab a pen in the intricately carved clay pencil holder that we got from Luke's generous football friend during our wedding. I walk to get a piece of paper from the printer but there is none. I remember Luke told me we ran out last night, and a new package should have arrived 2 hours ago. It better be there.

Luke spoke the truth. I have no time to refill the printer so I just get a sheet and begin to think. I feel pressured. I have until tonight to get everything I need but I know that when I shop I buy the whole store. This might not end the best.

My 56 year old self is stressed. It's not as bad as when I found out I couldn't have kids though. I told him we should adopt. He loved the idea, but somehow we never got to it. I think about the little bundles of joy tearing through the park on my weekend walks. I need to act upon it until it is too late. I'll ask when he comes home. Maybe I'll stop being so lazy and do even more things. Is there such a thing as Valentines resolutions? Or 40th-Valentines-Day-with-your-lover resolutions? I only feel motivated to achieve goals when there is a proper date to do so. Do I have a disease? I just visited the doctor a week ago. I'm fine. I just need to begin the list.

Some mental notes:

Luke gets home at 5:30 so make deadline for decor and plans @ 5 ish.

We both love blue and black combos.

It's cold so do the party indoors.

Invite the usual people-

-Rey

-Aubrey

-Jose

-Lily

-Ann

-Jakson

-Cam

-Gabi

My parents are traveling in Colorado. His are-living with god.

Luke likes strawberry flavored things. I like vanilla. (Strawberry cream cake?)

Make the living room have blue and black balloons.

Add black table cloth to table.

Fruit bowl

Keep TV on, but low volume.

Heart decor (OFC)

I look at the long list I have made. My left hand is tired and I shake it out. I am proud to share something with only 10% of the world's population, unlike Luke who shares with 90%. My legs hurt too. Maybe I should sit down. Then I ask myself the 5 W questions. It's my stress strategy.

Why? Because It's Valentines Day, I want to celebrate our 40th Valentines Day together.

What? Balloon decorations, hydrangea plants in the corners of the living room. More balloons. Food.

Where? The house. In the living room, but the kitchen is available.

When? Tomorrow night, but I need the plans and everything set up, while Luke is at the interview.

Who? Some friends are invited but only I am doing the planning for the party.

Ok I am all set, I repeat to myself, as I slouch into the comfy leather chair. Me and Luke's 40th Valentines Day together will be great. I just needed to go out and buy everything. I could buy as I go. That was something I was good at. Even Luke says so. But before I do that, I remember, I need to make some invites. That is priority. And I need to do it quick.

I log on to the computer and go onto my party planning site that I designed and coded myself. I also made a logo making site that gives us a couple checks a month. If I was being honest, I'm good at logo making. I mean, it's what I do for a living. Party invites are my jam. Speaking of that, I turn on some music and pray the neighbors are gone. And maybe everyone in my county as well. Less than three minutes later, I am finished. I quickly get back to the porch for some paper and stick it into the printer. By the next minute, 8 sheets are breathing in the fresh air. I laminate them in the laminator right next to the printer, and I am done. I don't feel like making folded invitations. I did that yesterday for one of my customers. Yes if you were wondering, I have a small business. Notice how I used the word small. I get a few customers a week. My friend says social media can boost it.

Luke used to play football. He was pretty famous which brought us living in Beverly Hills, California after he retired. I slip the new invites into my custom envelopes from my site and attach a cute heart sticker (I made that as well) to it. Then I take my calligraphy pen and write a special note on the front (different for everybody of course). Maybe that can make them feel special and they will be excited about coming!

But there was still lots to do. I needed to go to the store for decorations in the living room. I check my notes. Yes, kitchen will be left alone. But I could always put some scones on a china plate. Everything was prepped. I grabbed my purse and headed out the door. And came back 5 seconds later because I forgot my wallet.