A Kiss, A Coffee, and A Bagel

“Yeah I have one, I’ve just never been. No, I’m serious! For real, honest to God! That sounds crazy, I can only imagine what that’s like. How often do y’all travel? That much? Oh, my God. And you said you're going where next?”

“We're going to Rome!” Julie responds, laughing at all my responses.

“I don’t know… I’ve heard a thing or two about being flown out for vacations lol.” I responded.

“That’s not funny.” She responds with an upside down emoji.

I start typing, then deleting, then typing again. Before I can send off a message, I notice an incoming call. “Hey.”

“Hey, what’s that sound?” She asks curiously.

“Uhhh, don’t worry about it.” I reply defensively. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to ask you a few questions and I thought it would be easier to just call.”

“Ok, cool. Fire away.”

She looks for her first question, “Question number one, what is your date of birth?”

“What?” I asked, put off, “You already know.”

“Just checking…” she says, preparing her next question. “Question number two, what is your email?”

“Am I getting onboarded?”

“No!” She exclaims. “I just, I…”

“C’mon, out with it.” I say.

“I wanted to know if you’d go with me, Ugggh!” She shouts.

There’s a pause, out of nowhere I snicker and start laughing. She is not amused and decided to follow up with some “not amused” language. As my laughter quiets down, the realization of what’s being asked hits me. My voice started to shake as I accepted her invitation.

“When is it?”

“Next week.”

“Next week? Isn’t that a little fast?”

She answers my questions with a jigsaw of responses about itineraries and dinners. My attention refocuses after hearing, “My parents are paying for everything. I’ll be over tomorrow to get you up to speed.”

“Uhhh, ok. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Ok, bye.” She sings as she hangs up the phone.

Maybe we’re moving too fast, maybe they're moving too fast. I’ve been told that I go with the flow, but this seems overwhelming. I take a deep breath to re-access.

“Do you like her? Are you happy? Is she worth it?” We’ll see.

I take another deep breath, wipe and flush. Later that night, I had a chance to catch up with my brother.

“She said in a week? Isn’t that fast?” He says passing the spliff.

“That’s what I said.” Responding, before inhaling.

“I don’t know, do you think y’all are at that stage yet?”

“Honestly I don’t know, but her folks are paying for everything!” I laugh, hiding my uncomfortability. “Her sister is getting married.”

“Older or younger?” My brother interjects.

“Here, let me show you a picture.” Before I can go to show him a picture, he commandeers my phone and begins to scroll.

“Younger, definitely younger.” My brother says, looking intently at Lisa’s profile.  

“Give me that!” I respond while taking back my phone.

I noticed a picture of Lisa on a cruise dated back to New Year’s Eve, two years ago. Everyone looked so happy. Then I saw Julie, in this all black swimsuit from Fashion Nova. “Damn, she got finer.” I mumble under my breath. I zoom and see her left arm stretched out as if she was reaching for something. But there was nothing captured, not even a smile. Almost as if something or someone was cropped out.  There was a sign in the background that read, “Carnival’s Couple’s Lounge.” I can feel my curiosity itching, as I begin to click on the tagged image, I’m interrupted by -

“She’s sexy bro!” My brother exclaims, chuckling while passing the spliff.

“Anyway, she needs a plus one, and we’ve been dating for a while...”

“A while is not a tool for measuring.”

“You’re right, but she does make me happy.” I responded honestly.

“Then that should be enough. Now, puff!” He says.

I don’t even remember getting home or going to bed, but I wake up to my phone ringing.

“Hey, it's me. I’m downstairs.” Julie responds.  

I buzz her in and open the door. She greets me with a kiss, a coffee, and a bagel. I hate bagels.

“I know you love bagels.” She says with a smile, she has a beautiful smile.

I yawn, “Mhhmm.” While closing the door. I look at the time as it reads 4:44 AM. “Isn’t it kind of early?” I ask, knowing the answer.

She ignores me and keeps walking toward the kitchen. She neatly places the food and beverages on top of the table as she bends over, sliding them to the center.

“I said, do you hear me?” No answer, I walk over to her, slowly. I can feel something inside of me, revving. My breath is sharp, almost like a cadence. Sounds around me dull.

There’s a creek in the second-floor board reaching the kitchen, I purposely land. She turns around her head, slowly, raising up to meet my gaze.

I hadn’t noticed that one of my hoodies was gone until I saw it on her. She unzips it slowly, softly saying, “Come again?” As if her voice was massaging the words flowing from her mouth. 

As the hoodie hit the floor, I noticed how the moon light from the bay windows intensified her silhouette. She walked toward me, and my eyes began to focus. “I want to show my appreciation.” She whispers. 

Somewhere between the kissing, the picking up, the laying down and the turning over; I noticed how her nails matched all her places I kissed. I really appreciated that.

I look at the clock as the time reads 4:44 AM.

I hear, “Rome! Did you hear me?”, snapping myself out of the zoned trance.

“Wait what?”

“Next week. My sister’s wedding is in Rome!” Julie says.

“Your younger sister, right?” I ask.

“I don’t see why that matters.” She says defensively. “Our entire family will be there. It wouldn’t feel right without…” Her voice begins to shake.

“Of course I’ll go.” I replied.

“Really?” She asks, sounding like a little kid the way her voice jumped octaves.

I could picture her, covering up that cheesy smile. Hiding those rays of sunshine she calls dimples. With a slight chuckle, I got goosebumps. At this age, I thought I’ve experienced it all. But this feels different, it feels real.

She snaps me back again, “Hey.”

“What?”

“I… I…”

“I, I know.”

“Know what?”

“I know.”

I can hear her breath being taken away. Then I heard her feet pacing around her room, bumping into that desk that I keep telling her to move because it’s too close to the bed. Her footsteps stop.

“Do you?”

There’s a pause on the phone, I hear her breath. Vulnerable, anticipating my answer.

“I do.”