Cash or Card?

Sharon's birthday party had finally died down for the night. Used champagne glasses filled the sink, the cake had been properly devoured with only crumbs remaining as evidence and idle conversations with a faint Classic Rock playlist was the final soundtrack of the night. The clock was rolling but there were no signs of departure as Joey & Tom were finishing their conversation with one another in the kitchen.

"What happened to 'I'm in, I'm out in a half hour?' You've been here all night" asked Tom.

"Are you kidding? I've been trying to leave for the last two hours. The Rams are on tonight. Ang and Sharon won't stop talking" replied Joey. He continues on and impersonates the two women. "'Oh, you have Monday off? What are you gonna do?' 'Oh, I don't know, I might go to that new flea market.' 'Ohhh, that sounds fun. We never do anything fun.' 'Ohhh, wowww.' Tom laughs at the exaggeration as Joey continues on. 'I might catch up on Gilmore Girls all day even though it's been off the air for ten years.' 'Ohhh, wowww.'" This last remark makes Tom spit out through his nose. The two shared a hearty laugh. "God, she's so annoying. She's like a cliche of all the friends of all the girls you've dated." said Joey. "Just annoying and vapid and-and it's like jury duty because your girlfriend is friends with her, y'know. You do it, you wait for it to be over and hope you're not called upon again to be involved but inevitably you are. We're double dating on Friday with us and Ang and Ed. I'm already annoyed, Ed's a pain in the ass too."

"Tell Angela on Friday you're sick. Can't make it or something, you'll see them next time."

"No because that'll be a whole argument. She'll act like she's been really looking forward to it and I ruined the whole night and instead of just them two going, they won't go at all. God forbid if I drink that night, she'll come back with something like 'oh, I guess you're not sick enough to have a beer.' and all this."

The two watch the women chat on the couch, laughing and smiling at one another as if they were dating.

"Look at this, I'll never get out of here. I'm missing the Rams, they're almost at halftime." said Joey becoming noticeably distressed.

"Tell her you wanna go, you're done for the night."

"I can't do that. If I go over and say 'hey, it's getting late, we should go,' that'll start a whole other argument and I know she'll just shit talk me to Sharon. It's hell. It's like a nightmare trying to plan ahead because there's just gonna be a problem." Joey says this as he rubs his eyes in annoyance.

They continued to watch the two women chatting, only hearing glimpses of conversation.

"Well hey, you took separate cars, right?" asked Tom.

"Yeah, I came from work."

"Just leave. Take your car home."

"What? I can't do that."

"Why not?" asked Tom sincerely.

"..And what, not say anything? Just-just walk out and go home?"

"Yeah. I mean they're gonna be talking for god knows how long more, by the time they're done in a few hours, she'll text you and you just say you didn't wanna interrupt them and you had to get up early for something."

Joey thought about it for a moment, speaking as he contemplated the idea. "No. I-I..." He shook his head "I couldn't do that."

"Suit yourself" said Tom, taking a swig from his beer. Joey played out the idea in his head. He felt a sudden sense of liberation, freedom. If he could do this, anything was possible. He could be his own man.

"Just..leave.." he said.

"Just leave" replied Tom.

"..Right out the door.."

"Right out the door."

Joey chuckled. He took his car keys out of his back pocket and held them up for Tom to see, making a jingle. "I think I'm gonna leave" he said.

"You're a strong man."

"Hey, we're strong men." Joey gave him a firm pat on the back and casually approached the door, Angela not paying any attention to him as she focused on her own conversing. Joey looked back in the room, not at them but to Tom. He gave a thumbs up partnered with an enthusiastic smile and Tom returned the motion. Out the door and into the night, Joey went.

The car drove down the dark and deserted road, the window down as the wind rapidly flew through the interiors. The radio played some catchy teeny-bop Pop song that Joey never heard before but it had an upbeat sound and he could get with it. The night was his and he could do whatever he wanted with it. In this case, what he planned earlier. To sit on his ass and watch the rest of the Rams game with Angela back at Sharon's and a cold Stella in his hands. It didn't even matter that the Rams were doing terrible., he enjoyed the company of one man, himself and that was worth a million bucks.

With his feet up on the table, nirvana was here. He popped the cap off the bottle, put it to his lips but before he could taste the liquid gold..*SLAM* The door slammed shut and startled Joey out of his seat, spilling beer on his chest. He turned his head around and there stood Angela in an unmistakably upset demeanor.

"Ang! How are you? How was the party?" he asked nervously, the pitch of his voice raised.

"So, you just decided to leave without saying anything to anyone?" Joey jumped up from the couch to try and talk his way out of the ordeal.

"No, I did! I told Tom. Well-it was his idea but-y'know..you guys were talking and I didn't want to interrupt you! I was thinking of you!"

"Oh, so you told Tom and not your own wife?"

"No! No! He-"

"Do you know how embarrassing it was for me to have to explain to my best friend that my husband was so uninterested he'd rather leave than be with his wife?"

"'Be with his wife'? I was being a gentleman! I was letting you girls talk! I-"

"Oh, you were being a 'gentleman' huh?"

"Yes! Yes! If anything, y'know..I could use some appreciation and some thanks and-"

"Oh, okay. You want appreciation, is that it?"

"Yes. I thought of you, didn't want to get in the way of your talk and-"

"Yeah and you didn't just leave to come home and watch football."

Joey was stumped, he scrambled his thoughts for a reply that he could let out nicely.

"I thought you were gonna be longer! You were chatting all night, how was I supposed to know you'd be done right after?! It's not like you're talking about anything important!"

"You could have said 'hey, I'm getting tired. Let's go home." A moment of silence filled the room.

"Oh, come on. I think of you and this is the thanks I get? Unbelievable."

"Well, Joe, because you're so thoughtful and only think of others, you can sleep on the couch tonight. I'm going to bed."

Angela stormed up the stairs as Joey stood there with his mouth open trying to find a proper response. He had nothing and after a few moments, the door slammed shut. He figured he was at least by himself again and could enjoy the game but when he turned around and saw that the Jets scored yet another touchdown..

"The fucking Rams! They do this every year!"

A few days passed and the tension between the couple had slowly faded. By the time Friday came around, things seemed to have settled according to Joey. Sharon and Angela sat at a booth in a packed-enough restaurant at nighttime. The women were in the middle of talking before the man of the hour showed up.

"Sorry, I'm late. The traffic's always bad down here on Fridays." He sat down at the booth next to Angela. "Hey, Where's Ed? I thought we were double-dating?"

"He couldn't make it tonight. Nice of you to make it, Joey. Are you going to say 'bye' to us this time?" asked Sharon obviously still upset. Joey wanted to jump right back into an argument, the fact that something seemingly petty to him bothered her days later was enough for a shouting match. He decided it best to be the better man.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I didn't want to interrupt you two, I thought I was being a gentleman and-"

"A gentleman? Ahh" Sharon said sarcastically.

"Yes." He said. "Anyways, I'm sorry that it came off as rude."

"Well, it did. But, I'm ready to put that behind us because I love Angela and she's been teaching me to be more calm. More zen."

"More zen? She's got you on that hippie stuff too?" he asked with a smirk on his face ready for a quick retort.

Sharon had no reply, she just gave him an annoyed glance. He looked over to Angela, again, an annoyed glance. Once more, he was ready to start up another fiery yelling match in the middle of this restaurant, one on two. The fire died down and he let it pass him. To distract himself, he buried his face in the menu.

"The food here's great. I don't even know what I want."

"I think we should start out with the quesadillas and the eggrolls" said Angela also looking at her menu.

"What, for apps? You never get apps. You're not an apps girl. You always say you'll get too full."

"The quesadillas and eggrolls do sound good. Let's get those."

"Well, you can get whatever. I'm not having any."

"That's fine. Ang and I can split the bill on those." said Sharon.

"That's no problem." said Angela.

"Isn't that gonna be a lot of food for you?" asked Joey. "I mean you've been-" he cut himself off to tighten his lips and shake his head.

"I've been what?" asked Angela.

"Y'know. You've..put on a couple pounds." Angela scoffed at the comment.

"Did you really just say that, Joey? Did you really just say that to your wife?" Sharon asked, demanding an answer.

"I'm just saying! Maybe a salad wouldn't hurt! I don't know!" The two scoffed and gave each other a reaction of disbelief. "Alright, get the quesadillas and eggrolls! It was just a suggestion! I don't know!"

"Well, I think we're good on suggestions, Joey." said Sharon.

"Thanks, Sharon." said Joey sarcastically.

The night had continued on with subtle jabs at one another. Every time Joey tried to alleviate the situation, he'd only dug himself deeper and deeper. The end of the night had come and the table was full of empty glasses, dirty plates and enough leftovers to eat for a week.

"God, I'm so full" said Angela.

"I feel fine." replied Joey. "Maybe you shouldn't have had those apps."

"I wanna wash up before we go." said Angela.

"Me too. My hands are filthy." said Sharon.

"Could you scoot out so I can go to the bathroom?" asked Angela. He stood from his seat and she got up and walked away with Sharon toward the bathroom. He sat back down and looked at the array of uneaten food that hadn't even been touched. He scoffed and shook his head, a hundred things he could comment on ran through his brain. He looked over and saw the small tablet on the table displaying an ad for games to buy for $5. Curiosity got the best of him and he picked up the tablet but in the process, accidentally put his finger on the "purchase" button. A message on the screen appeared "thank you for your payment. All games are now available." He was shocked, his mouth open like someone had walked into his house he didn't know. His hand hovered over the screen to find some way to undo it but he saw there was no option. Frustrated, he took the tablet and casually tossed it to the side of the table, his annoyance only grew.

He looked out the window in his direction and saw two figure outlines but couldn't make out exactly who they were. One of them walked away while the other got in a car. The car started and the brake light illuminated the license plate. He saw it was Angela's car and she was leaving. Joey stood up and ran over to the window seeing her car pull out of the parking lot and then seeing Sharon's right behind her. His mouth open still processing the games bought, he was left flabbergasted.

"What the fuck?!" he said out loud, making peoples heads turn. An annoyed waiter walked by him.

"Sir, there are children around" he said, shaking his head walking away. Joey went back to the booth and plopped himself right back down in his seat. Just then, his phone went off, he had a text message from Angela. "Forgot to say 'goodbye.' See you at home." He was taking all this in when another waiter walked up to him at his booth.

"Will that be cash or card, sir?" Joey sat there not comprehending how to even reply. He put his hands up and dropped them to the table in defeat. Joey then looked up at the waiter and simply asked "can I get a refund for those games?"