The Magic that is You

Submitted into Contest #76 in response to: Write a story told exclusively through dialogue.... view prompt

2 comments

Funny Fiction Romance

“Why don’t I have a moon?”

“Are you a witch like me?”

“No.”

“Then there’s your answer.”

“But I want a tiny moon as well.”

“Then order one online.”

“I want a real moon like the one in your hands right now.”

“You don’t get a real moon unless you’re a witch, babe.”

“I love a witch, doesn’t that count?”

“If that’s the case then you would’ve had your very own solar system by now.”

“Can’t you do that for me?”

“And risk summoning creatures beyond human control? I think the fuck not.”

“Romance is really dead, huh.”

“I’m literally saving your kind.”

“You say that as if you aren’t part human.”

“Well, you’re talking as if you’re part witch.”

“You were just talking about my magical hands last night, lover.”

“Irrelevant. Can you step away from the cauldron?”

“And why would I do that?”

“Because a strand of your hair can get me another you rather than my client’s mortality potion.”

“Don’t you think that would be sexy?”

“I think that would be my worst nightmare.”

“Rude. You are literally in love with me.”

“Unfortunately.”

“Okay, you big bully, I stepped away from your big mixing bowl. Why does your client want a mortality potion anyway? They a vampire?”

“Close. A dragon.”

“How the hell is that close?”

“I don’t know, how the hell do you still manage to accidentally use my toothbrush after three years of living with me?”

“Why do I stay here for you to bully me?”

“I believe it’s the other way around.”

“Moving on! Why does your client want to be a boring human being when they can be a mighty, majestic dragon?”

“Well, my client fell in love.”

“Oh?”

“With a human being.”

“Oh.”

“So from a mighty, majestic dragon who lived centuries, my client wants to live one little lifetime.”

“Can’t your client’s partner just become immortal instead?”

“You’re saying that as if it is an easy decision. Babe, can you pass that petri dish over there?”

“Isn’t it? And here you go.”

“Thank you. Well, think about it; you get to live to see legacies that wither and legacies that make it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You get to witness the evolution of technology and social norms.”

“Mm-hm.”

“You get to see the forests before they disappear and the new shape of a country every fifty years or so.”

“I’m listening.”

“But you outlive your mortal friends.”

“Oh.”

“I mean, magical as immortals can be, it can get lonely, y’know?”

“You have a big point right there.”

“Right? It’s like each era, there’s heartbreak for leaving and being left.”

“You talk as if you’ve lived centuries.”

“You listen as if you never did.”

“I never did.”

“Well, I used to.”

“…Is that metaphorical with a capital M?”

“Nope. It’s literal with a capital L.”

“No way.”

“Yes way. Every witch is born with their previous life in their memories. Turns out I used to be some mortal to wanted to live exactly two centuries to see if the world would be better by then.”

“You met a witch to help you with it?”

“More like a witch met me. People would rather call a woman who can do math a witch than a man who literally bellows he’s a witch, a witch.”

“Okay, so the witch met you. How'd the 200 years go?”

“As far as I could remember, it was terrible. Like who I am today, past me was a social butterfly.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“No need to be; I’ve accepted my past life and my life now.”

“Does that mean you’ve witnessed wars?”

“And how they ended, yeah.”

“You’ve witnessed deadly makeup?”

“And the skin diseases they’ve brought about, yup.”

“The Black Plague, Korea dividing, and Roman holidays?”

“Yes, yes, and no, that’s a little too far back.”

“Huh. You didn’t look for a witch to end your two-century deal?”

“Never found one. Remember, the witch met me. It’s difficult to meet a witch.”

“I thank my lucky stars I met you.”

“Okay, but that’s because you were hooking up with my friend on my bed that one university party, and I so happened to come home early from a camping trip.”

“The lucky stars never lie.”

“Well, the lucky stars didn’t teach you hygiene now, did it?”

“Excuse you, I have impeccable hygiene! It just so happened that your friend and I were so in the mood that your bed looked perfect for human copulation.”

“Disgusting. Save that shit for marriage.”

“You didn’t say that when my hands were being magical last nigh–”

“Okay, moving on! Long story short, those are just memories. I’m happy now, especially now that you’re here.”

“Because I’m your mortal lover who you’d spend a lifetime with?”

“Sure, but mostly because you can hold this vial for a moment while I go get a bookmark for my spellbook.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you more, babe.”

-----

“When will it end.”

“No one is asking you to stay up late.”

“Look at your eyes. They say ‘Stay with me until the mortality potion is finished.’ Who am I to deny such a request?”

“I would say I’m swooning but you look one second away from passing out on my perfectly good carpet. Please pass out somewhere else.”

“Every day I question why we’re together.”

“What about every night?”

“Every night, I want to eat you up.”

“The sexy way or the cannibalism way?’

“What the hell makes you think I want to consume you like a cannibal?”

“I don’t know, babe; the way you ate that steak last week was pretty sketchy.”

“It’s 4 A.M. I’m going to believe you’re being this chaotic because it’s 4 A.M.”

“If I was an immortal who couldn’t find a witch, would you still love me?”

“4 A.M. is not a good time for these kinds of conversations.”

“4 A.M. is the only time to ever have these kinds of conversations.”

“Yeah, I would still love you.”

“You look like you want to say something else.”

“Well, yeah, I would still love you, but I would also look for a witch on my end.”

“To make me mortal?”

“That, or to make me immortal.”

“Are you saying you’d spend forever with me?”

“Well, when you put it like that, I can’t help but feel shy, but yeah, I’d spend forever with you.”

“Look at you blushing!”

“Can you please finish that damn potion?”

“I give it an 8 out of 10; I would’ve got down on one knee and pull out a ring.”

“I am one second away from breaking up with you.”

“No, don’t be the immortal to my mortal.”

“Why are you like this.”

“I’m just humoring you, sweetness.”

“Can you believe we’ve been together in this time and place?”

“What do you mean?”

“We could have been lovers in a time where ankles were considered provocative.”

“Or in a time where wars were won in arrows.”

“Right? Doesn’t everything feel like fate?”

“What makes you so sure it isn’t coincidence?”

“What makes you so sure it is?”

“I’m just saying ‘what if everything just so happened?’”

“I’m also saying ‘what if everything is meant to happen?’”

“So this mortality potion I’m finishing up in this ungodly hour is all part of the universe’s plan?”

“Well, we’re having this honest conversation because of it.”

“…”

“Then you’ll wrap that potion up and cuddle me until the morning comes.”

“You watch too many romance movies.”

“You read too much case-studies.”

“Well, I do so for my clients.”

“And I do so mine for me.”

“Want me to sweep you off your feet?”

“No need. I’m blushing at the mere sight of you.”

“You cheesy ass. Anyway, Ms. I’d-spend-forever-with-you, I’ll just transfer this potion to a safe container.”

“Do it quick if you don’t want me to pass out on the floor.”

“Alright, lover, I’m doing it.”

“…”

“…”

“Hey, pretty witch.”

“Yes?”

“I’m really happy to be mortal like you right now.”

“Who are you and what have you done to my lover?”

“You ruined it. I’ll never be sweet to you again.”

“You’re so fun to tease, babe. But yeah, I’m also really happy to be mortal like you.”

“Does this mean I can have that tiny moon?”

“Did you just go all lovey-dovey talkative on me to convince me to give you this tiny moon?”

“Is it working?”

“A little bit. I’ll get you a prettier, safer, most unlikely-to-cause-an-apocalypse moon as soon as I’m done with my client’s mortality potion, okay?”

“I’m in love with you.”

“And I’m in love with you.”

“Fortunately.”

------

“My love.”

“Yes, pretty witch?”

“Go the fuck to sleep.”

“I can’t feel comfy with you a million miles away.”

“I am literally cuddling you.”

“I can hear you thinking.”

“Of how to shut you up, yeah.”

“What’s on your mind, lover?”

“I just…”

“Hm?”

“Sometimes, I wish I wasn’t born a witch.”

“How come? C’mere.”

“How the hell do I scoot closer at this point?”

“Look! You're a millimeter of space away from me. Are we in a long-distance relationship?”

“You're so dramatic. Do you want to superglue yourself to me too?"

"I like the sound of that."

"Shhh. Anyway, I just don’t want to remember memories I never experienced in this life.”

"I see."

“Yeah. I’ve considered performing some sort of spell for selective Amnesia or something but…”

“But?”

“As burdensome as the memories are, they help me become a better witch.”

“What do you mean?”

“I met creatures freed from immortality due to my past as a reference to what I brew, humans who avoided centuries of solitude the moment they heard my story, and witches who, like me, find comfort in knowing they're not alone with this destined, unfair pain. ”

“That's quite noble."

"Right? Let's say I stop this whole witch thing. What if I can never give you a moon again?"

"Then offer me starlight."

"I can't do that if I'm human."

"You can do it because it's you."

"You think too highly of me."

"You think too lowly of yourself."

"Objectively, I can't whip out stars and a moon if I'm human."

"But you'll find one, whether in a store or because of another witch."

"And why do you think I'd be that determined?"

"Because I asked for the moon."

"Well."

"Well?"

"You got me there."

"You're so soft. Do you think you'll drink a potion to make you forget, someday?"

"Perhaps."

"Perhaps?"

"Yeah, perhaps. I love what I'm born as so let's see how long until the fire runs out."

"What if it never does?"

"Then I have you to love me when the going gets tough."

"Using me, I see."

"Can you be romantic for one minute?"

"I'm just kidding, darling. I'll love you whichever way you go."

"What if I turn out to be a serial killer?"

"Okay, maybe not every way."

"There goes my Saturday plans."

"Are you trying to kick me out of this house?"

"Kidding! Kidding."

"I can't believe you kept me up until sunrise."

"Want me to keep you up until noon?"

"Do not go all seductress on me now, it's bedtime."

"Okay, mom."

"You literally started this conversation with 'my love, go the fuck to sleep.'"

"Are you saying mothers say that?"

"My mom used to."

"What does she say now?"

"She says 'sweetheart, get a fucking jo-' Hey! Stop laughing!"

"I'm in love with an unemployed human who banters with me 70 percent of the time."

"Yeah? I'm in love with a bratty witch whos so spoiled that her cooking skills are jealous."

"You take that back!"

"Stop pinching me! Go to sleep!"

"Goodnight, sweetness."

"Goodnight, hag."

"Oh my God."

January 14, 2021 15:32

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2 comments

Cally Howell
00:22 Jan 22, 2021

This was so cute! I loved it! I was smiling the entire time. The dialogue was so natural, and you could tell they really loved each other. Fantastic work!

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Althea Angelito
01:35 Jan 27, 2021

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm so happy I was able to touch your heart with my writing!!

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