Heart or Mind?

“Oh my God...” cried Sakshi in a sullen voice.

I rushed to her room “Oh! Dear what happened? Why...” I asked Sakshi.

“Papa..” she ran towards me and gave a hug full of anxiety and pang." You know na ..the only thing I am tensed about” she said “CAREER CHOICE” we said together.

“But I also know that my princess will take up to the mark decision containing all essential elements such as your interest, future scope and need of the hour” I said, I moved my hand through her curly hair, to boost her morale but somewhere in my mind, being a parent, I was scared “Whether she will or..” I reflected.

“The root cause is I am not able to distinguish between the two streams, rest I had thrown in dustbin, I like and will excel in both but which way to go. Feeling just like the traveller who has two fascinating ways in-front of him.” Pointing to a quote hanging on wall “But I can and I will. No space for worries.” She she explained her state of mind.

“Yes dear” I braced her. Still I was just wondering How a powerful independent girl with finest wit is so bewildered for her decision. This choice may drastically reform her future and fate . She is lioness of our home but her pleading eyes worn out smile without uttering a single word made me aware of her inner emotions. Guidance of any guardian is very crucial at this moment of life because mistaken decision may lead to failure. Wait, here who scares from failure but we definitely scare from depression and all negativity accompanied. Impossible to enter her room full of motivational quotes and positive vibes, who can say about her mind what’s going on.

“My heart says something and my mind says something. How to match them or find mid way? Oh God!” She topple on the couch while speaking. “Papa.. papa.. what are you thinking of? Are you listening me?” she asked

She pulled me back from my struggling days' thoughts to present. “No dear, I am listening in fact your words profusely pushed me to turn the yellow crinkly pages of my diary when I was working for a firm and two doors rose and puzzled me at that moment of life” I said nostalgically.

“Papa please narrate the whole episode please na please” She entreated me.

“ Yeah! Ah ugh ( clearing throat) Once upon a time their lived a king..”

“Oh papa..” We laughed together.

“Okay..okay.. on a very serious note when I was pursuing a job at a firm as chief designer of a software and had very surreptitious codes with me which were responsible for the overall development of the most demanded software, whole world knew this. I was loyally working on the software but a letter waylaid my peaceful life.” I began my anecdote.

“Which letter? From whom? What was written” Sakshi interrupted.

“Shuu..shuu.. the letter was from the rivalry company, who desired to develop same software but lack the essential coding, offering me to join hands with codes and double wage than the current. I also follow the path of Gandhiji but sometimes avarice outweighs than morales. So, there a quarrel started inside me between the angel and the devil. Angel supported candour and loyalty on there shoulder devil was bracing the greed of money and more fame. Consequences of this war did not only affected mind for sleepless nights or being insane but externally resulted in rude attitude or less efficiency in work. Gradually I started getting sick. One day when I was resting on my cozy bed your grandmother came and affectionately passed her hand on my head to console me and asked me the reason of this changed behavior. Usually I do not discuss my office life at home , you know, but that day I hesitatingly spoke up every storm brewing in my life. She said, I still remember her golden words, ‘Relax...close your eyes deep inhale...deep exhale...take your palm place it on your heart and quietly listen what it says. Do not tell me just listen. Now again deep inhale...’

“Is this an exercise? Or meditat...”Sakshi whispered.

“Deep exhale.." I continued. "take your palm once again and place it on your head and listen your brain’s soft voice what it says. Again deep inhale.....deep exhale....Felt something?’ She said and I felt myself in seventh heaven. Problem solved. My heart did not agree to cheat the firm. Mind logically thought that I will lost all earned dignity and tag of loyalty by selling myself to other company. This forced me to continue to render my services to the firm . Now Sakshi you also do as I say you will also definitely get the adequate solution this way has helped me in reaching the day of present which you are seeing me. So relax...oh do it dear once for me please. Relax.. close your eyes deep inhale...deep exhale...take your palm place it on your heart and quietly listen what it says. Do not tell me just listen. Ask your heart do you really enjoy doing it and future scope? Now again deep inhale...deep exhale...take your palm once again and place it on your head and listen your brain’s soft voice what it says. Ask your brain do you really enjoy doing it and future scope? Again deep inhale.....deep exhale....Felt something? Sometimes we feel our heart is saying something but that might or not be the true voice so this way helps us to reach inner conscience. Did this help you to choose your destination of life?” I asked enthusiastically.

“ Yes I got the answer... thank you my heart said to show benevolence and serve our mother land so being a civil servant is best. I full heartedly enjoy and it has a great future scope and for the first time mind also agreed with heart and suggested that the courses will increase my capability and I have such qualities. Thank you it really worked. Astonishing. How can I thank you papa.” She exclaimed.

She hugged me again but this time it was full of true determination, feeling to serve nation and top of all gratitude towards not me her grandmother which suggested a wonderful way.

“Aww...I shall frame this affectionate moment in the camera of my eyes. So cute.. Wait what you both were discussing about? Tell me also na please.. Pleaded Sakshi’s mother(my wife)

“Papa to whom you listened your heart or mind while marrying mummy?”

“You naughty girl” We laughed and Sakshi’s mother also, unknowing the cause, joined us.

- Bodhini Jain