Reflections

Stella looked at her reflection in the full body mirror on her bedroom wall. She reflected on her long life. A few days ago she became an octogenarian. Where had the years gone? They flew by so fast! She studied her reflection, seeing images from teen years to her current eighty years of age. The agility and glow of youth tainted by five miscarriages faded into middle age but she was still agile and the manifestation of her achievements flowed through her mind. Her success as an administrative assistant, bookkeeper, legal clerk joined memories of serving as an officer of various organizations followed by the travels and adventures shared with the love of her life.

Then came the other reflections on the years of drinking. She grew up in an alcoholic household. Her first remembered drunk was when she was four years old. She was at a party with her parents. Everyone thought it was so cute for the little girl to take a drink out of everyone’s glass filled with hard liquor. Soon she was staggering. She managed to reach a couch before she passed out. She probably had been drunk as an infant since her family believed in rubbing a baby’s gums with whiskey when she was teething and giving whiskey and camphor oil for colic but she had no memory that far back. 

When she began having periods in her early teens, she had disabling cramps. The medicine for the pain was strong hot toddies. It didn’t stop the pain but it did knock her out for three days every month. By the time she was sixteen, she was permitted to drink half a glass of beer every evening with her parents. In her state, she was allowed to drink 3.2% beer at bars when she was eighteen.. She was already married but her husband was on maneuvers outside of the country with the Navy. She spent time in bars with her parents and on her own just as she had seen her parents do all her life. The days she drank alone was only the beginning of drinking with her parents that night.

Her husband finally came back to the states and she joined him wherever he was stationed. They were old enough to drink in most states now and they did. She had married someone who also came from an alcoholic environment. They were well matched in almost every way. Where they were opposites, they completed one another. The marriage was happy with no noticeable problems.

When his discharge came through a few weeks ahead of schedule, they were told it was because of his drinking. Both of them knew it was because she had stood up to his captain who falsely demanded he plead guilty to drunk driving and leaving the scene of an accident that happened around ten o’clock in the morning when no one had been drunk even the night before. The accident was proved to be caused by a broken idler arm on the car. He had a friend with him who had a head injury that needed immediate attention. They were on a seldom used side road on the way to a junk yard to get some parts for the car when he lost steering, panicked and hit the accelerator instead of the brake. The only way to get help was to walk back to the main road so they left the car. During the time it took to get medical attention for their friend, the police impounded the car. When the two men went back for the car, it was gone. They called to report a stolen car and found out it was in the impound lot so asked a neighbor to drive them into town. 

As soon as they entered the impound, he was arrested and taken to jail. The next day she called the police station to find out when he would be released, she was told shore patrol had picked him up the previous night. She called the base and was told he was not there because he was on leave off base. He should be home any time. She knew they were lying. All day she tried to find out where he was without success. She cried herself to sleep that night. Even before breakfast next morning she called a friend and their landlord who was a psychiatrist at the Naval Hospital and told her what had happened. Her friend called an attorney and was able to make an appointment for the next morning. She asked a neighbor to take her to the appointment next day. 

She was very nervous when she arrived at the attorney’s office. Thankfully, she did not have to wait long. The attorney was very kind and asked her to tell him what had happened. She related everything from how they had spent Friday night through his arrest and all they lies told to her. She told him how she had called the police station and been told he was released to shore patrol the night before. The base told her hie was in jail in town one time and on liberty the next. She knew someone was lying but all she wanted to know was where and how he was. She called both places again with the same run-around. Finally she received a call from him that evening. He told her the captain had ordered him to plead guilty or else he would receive brig time and a dishonorable discharge. He had been ordered to call her to tell her to shut up and not call or cause anymore trouble. He was scheduled for court the next morning where he would have to obey orders and plead guilty. 

The attorney immediately called the courthouse where he was told her husband had pleaded guilty and was in city jail. He had been sentenced to thirty days. When he was released, he would face captain’s mast, another thirty day sentence in the brig and dishonorable discharge as was normal for a guilty plea. 

The attorney made an immediate appointment for her to see the judge. He told her this was a common occurrence and it needed to be stopped. He gave her directions to the courthouse and wished her luck as she left his office. Soon she arrived at the courthouse and was directed to the judge’s chambers. When he arrived from his session, he immediately took her into his chambers. She repeated everything she had told the attorney. The judge exploded. He had seen too many cases just like this one from the Navy base. As he told her this, he was already reaching for his phone. She heard him order her husband to be released immediately. Then he called records and ordered all charges be expunged from his record. She shed happy tears as she left and arranged transportation home. 

The time for him to come home passed.. Again she called the jail and was told he had been released to shore patrol before the judge called. She called the base and was told he was in city jail. When she told them she knew that was a lie because she was sitting in the judge’s office when he ordered her husband’s release, they told her he was on his ship and would be transferred to the brig next morning.

That night she was too angry to cry. As soon as she finished breakfast, she got a ride into town. She went straight to the base and to the ship. She demanded to see the captain. She was told to go home and not come back to the base ever again. That was the wrong approach. She threatened to go to the press, the judge and the attorney before she notified the Pentagon of the illegal acts being committed on that base. Finally the captain appeared on the quarterdeck and told her to be a good little Navy wife. Go home and mind her own business. She replied illegal acts by him and the Navy were her business especially when they involved her husband. The captain threatened to increase her husband’s brig time if she didn’t leave and keep her mouth shut. Wrong thing to say and do. She told the captain if her husband was not immediately released, she would see he never commanded another ship and would be the one behind bars. All she had to do was notify the attorney and judge of his threats and they would insure not only the release of her husband but also make sure trauma and suffering caused by his illegal acts would come out of any pay he ever hoped to receive for years. The captain decided to release her husband but told her that she was responsible for his dishonorable discharge. She told the captain if there was a dishonorable discharge, she would gladly see that his was the next one issued. Soon her husband walked down the gangplank and they went home. 

He was granted extended leave until his discharge papers were final so they had no more worries about him being illegally held on the ship or jail. As soon as the paperwork was final, they headed back home. It did not matter that he was given a general discharge under honorable conditions. It was only a few weeks before he would have been discharged anyway. Best of all they, would never have to live through that nightmare ever again. It sure reflected badly on our military and left them with no more respect for the Navy. 

Eventually the drinking got worse. When the final night came, their marriage was in dire straights. They were hotly arguing as they came in the door. He went straight to bed but she stayed up drinking just to show him. When she went to bed, he was awake and crying. She asked what was wrong and he said he could not take any more. He was going to kill himself. That sobered her and they spent time talking. After a few hours sleep they called Alcoholics Anonymous. That afternoon two men came to the house and talked to them. That night they went to their first meeting. Neither of them ever took another drink. 

She reflected on their retirement. They loved to travel and were avid RVers. From Arizona to New York and points between presented so much to enjoy. For a few years they worked as drill site gate guards in the oil fields so traveled Texas to the job sites. He became forgetful but they ignored it until his symptoms worsened and had to be discussed with a doctor. A few tests were given and the diagnosis was dementia. 

They knew nothing about the disease so thought it was just old age forgetfulness until he became violent and endangered both of their safeties. She was forced to put him in a nursing home when he had to be catheterize for six months and she learned his UTI was behind his threat to both their safeties. He never returned home. She took courses on dementia and a stressbuster’s course to be a better caregiver. They did not lessen the horror of watching the disease destroy him more every day. Finally it took his life. Now her reflection in the mirror shows her aged body but nothing of her achievements that are a reflection of her courage as she continues facing life alone.