How many days can you live without food?

The candles stood unlit, they needn’t be otherwise. The dining table was ready, complete with naked plates, clothed only in the sickly glow of the lamplight. The room was prepared, embellished with dancing shadows that entertained our weary minds. They flickered from one wall to the other before mindlessly tipping a wall light, sending the golden liquid streaming further down the walls and pooling onto Mama’s carpet. The room was ablaze with life: the streaming gold, the dancing shadows, the proud candlesticks and the sleeping oak of the table. Everything inanimate was alive whilst everything animate was almost, dead. It was a backwards sort of room, one that could only exist in another reality or be read about in a children’s book.

It was about now when my mind went wandering, creating a quiet slumber that was only broken by my Mama when she called for my brother. She needed help with the dinner. I shook my head and reopened my eyes just in time to see my brother leave, a sad, melancholy look was present though he smiled politely. I watched him vanish into the kitchen and around the corner before slumping in my chair. My mind did not wander.

I was alone for a while, straining my eyes and ears for any form of information about when dinner was ready. My belly started to rumble and my head began to hurt. The shadows danced again, entertaining my now delirious mind. 

I was alone for another ten minutes before my brother came back, the melancholy look now had now spread, contaminating every inch of his face. His right eye dripped with tears as his belly rumbled, matching my own hunger in a twin like fashion. A hand like print was painted over his right cheek, slowly growing in size and colour until it throbbed menacingly. I didn’t ask, I needn’t do otherwise. I just stared, and smiled, and held my belly. I wasn’t the one who needed feeding first anymore.

We waited some more. The shadows now had stopped dancing and had turned to mocking us. They slithered over the fruit, tempting us like the devil tempts humans. Fruit was forbidden at dinner time. Mama said it was too sweet and was only awarded to good boys and girls anyway. We never got a lot of fruit, Mama seemed to always eat it and then when we were allowed some, there’d be none left. My brother said that it was cruel but I didn’t mind it all that much, I got fruit at school. I don’t think my brother got any fruit at his school though. He had to bring money in and buy his food but Mama only gave him enough for water because “you can live a month without food but only three days without water”. She also said water fills you up more than food and often times fills you up for longer. I’m guessing that’s why she leaves water out for us everyday and not blackcurrant or orange juice. 

We sat in silence for a few more minutes before our bellies rumbled in unison, causing us both to clutch our stomachs and giggle in a hushed tone. The table had now been set for around an hour and forty minutes and still had naked plates acting as place holders for our dinner. The shadows had finished tormenting us now since they had vanished a long while ago. We watched them depart our company as each lamp slowly died, long fingers of wispy smoke were the last remnants of our friends before we were left in the glow of only one candle.

After a while I started playing with my knife and fork as sort of a comforter. It helped to distract my mind from my rumbling belly. My brother started doing the same. We sat, silent and helpless for a while, distracting ourselves in anyway that we could. I continued playing with my knife and fork while my brother closed his eyes. I’m guessing he was daydreaming but with his eyes shut. I copied him for a few seconds before realising that it was quite boring and so I continued playing my game. 

Soon after Mama came out of the kitchen, holding a tray of food, smiling happily as if she was a game show hostess. My brother snapped his eyes open and I let my characters fall onto the white cloth. My attention fixated onto the tray, forgetting everything but my manners. I waited, patiently, for Mama to sit down before glancing over at my brother who seemed no longer in the mood for dinner. My grin faded and my head tilted. Why wasn’t he excited? Why didn’t he care? He sat with his head resting on his hand, covering up the red mark from before. I didn’t question it, I needn’t do otherwise. He was annoyed and exhausted and upset.

I hung my head in slight shame as I realised I was also annoyed at Mama, even though we were taught children should never be annoyed with their Mama. I didn’t want to say anything. I smiled and waited for my plate to be filled with potatoes and vegetables. I’d smother it in hot steaming gravy and devour it before anyone else. My grin widened at the thought of food finally.

We sat, silent and still as my Mama said Grace. Wisps of smoke rose from the dinner table and faded on the ceiling. I watched the symbols of a hot dinner and thanked a lot of things, like Mama said to do. We ate respectfully, practicing our manners to the best of our starving ability. I’d just finished my vegetables when I caught my brothers eye. He was seething, you could tell by the way he hadn’t eaten any of his food, he’d only played with it. I watched him, my mouth stuffed full as he placed his fork down and turned to Mama.

“Where’s Papa?”

Mama swallowed her meat frustratedly as I slumped in my chair. I gulped down the remnants of my potato and looked at Mama’s face through the unlit candles. My mind thought about wether Mama had heard the question but the sheer rage in her eyes told me I needn’t worry.

My brother was sent upstairs early that night, another pulsating mark was left as replacement for the old one. Me and Mama were sat in the living room with the TV on quiet and the fire crackling beside me. The pictures on screen danced in a comforting sort of way as I finally felt full. I lay down and curled myself into a ball. I couldn’t see him but I knew my brother was doing the same, curling himself up on his bed, satisfied that we no longer had to wait for more than just dinner.