It's not me! (Part 1)

Title: It's not me!

Author: Harirpiya

Author's Note: Hello everyone! Happy Black Friday! This story is a little lengthy, because I had SO MUCH to write, but went over the limit, so I had to cut a lot of paragraphs down. If you don't like the ending, I can try to make a part two for this (no promises!!) so that it might end the way you all want it to end. Other than that, I hope you enjoy this sad, miserable story! XD

It's not me! Everything thinks I did it, but I know I didn't! I'm innocent! I shouldn't be in trouble for something I NEVER did in my life. Especially to my own brother! What kind of a little brother am I? I would never do it, never. 

But at this point, I'm only convincing myself. Of course, no one in this world would ever want to listen to me. They all think I am a big buffoon, a moron, who can't do anything right. They underestimate who I am, everyone. This world has become a place where you can't even trust your own parents.

I tell them over and over again it wasn't me. I knew it was someone else, I just did. Just because I have an old reputation for, let's say, telling white lies doesn't mean I would do it in such a serious issue! This time, I was honestly telling the truth. 

But no one would ever listen to me. Everyone hates me in this world. The only two people who know I didn't do it are me and god. I have become a person where everyone can blame me, even though they didn't know if I even did it or not. 

Except, this time, it was different. No one saw how this even happened. Not even me. My brother did it by himself... I just know it. There was absolutely no reason he would want to do it, but still, something was bothering him that night. 

I remember his face, all sweaty and trembling with fear. I remember asking him what was wrong, but instead, he hugged me tight and continued pacing. I was confused, but I didn't really care much. I thought he was worried and nervous because he had a lot of exams next Monday, but soon I knew that wasn't the reason. I knew after he did this. 

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I wasn't even outside with him, yet everyone, without any proof, says it's me. That is what hurts me the most. The fact that they have no evidence saying that it was me. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I am just a big mistake in this world. Like no one cares about how I feel. 

I mean why would anyone suspect a twelve-year-old boy to commit a crime to his own brother, and lie about it? Nowadays, I was starting to think that the police officers around here aren't really fit for this job. 

Though it has been only a couple of days since this dilemma happened, I got cursed by almost the entire neighborhood... including my own parents. I couldn't even walk outside for a mere second, because there has to be someone outside, yelling at me, and saying things I wish I never heard. 

But staying inside my house was no paradise either. Instead of strangers yelling at you, I experience my entire family yelling at me. I skipped three meals, because I didn't want to face them, and humiliate myself. I didn't want my soul to get hurt, because it already has gotten hurt a lot during these past few days.  

My brain plays through everyone's voices like a radio tape, but it never ends. It's on loop. I imagine everyone's faces when they were yelling this at me. Their raspy, mad voices, making me cry.

"How could you do this Lee? How could you?" I pictured my mother screaming at me.

"Your own brother!! He loved you so much! Yet you never loved him back?". I remembered my father hollering at me.

"Lee, I thought you were a better person. I was your best friend! How could you do this to him? I didn't know you were so cold-hearted!" I heard my best friend's voice repeating over and over again.

Those were humans, but now even animals hate me. My little bunny, Fluff scratches me all the time and even ran away from my room. The cats in this neighborhood shoot me a look, a look which almost means I'm gonna kill you. 

Lastly, dogs. A human's best friend. I think they are the worst friends because my entire arm is injured because of an old grandma's dog. I mean I used to mow the lawn for them for free! I remembered today morning, her humongous English Mastiff growled at me. It's sharp teeth, waiting to take a bite from my hand. Its legs were readying, almost charging towards me. Its enormous weight couldn't handle that puny leash, so it broke and it charged towards me. 

Long story short, I got hurt, but obviously, no one cared about that because everyone who witnessed this sight congratulated that old grandma and her big dog. No one even helped get up! Even sympathized for me! 

Literally, that dog's sharp teeth bit into my flesh and started bleeding, but everyone made her the hero because her dog defeated me? Looks like no one in this neighborhood even cares if I die. They'll just award the person who killed me, all because everyone thinks I'm guilty of something I know I didn't do. 

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After the day this happened, anyone who sees me gives me their beady eyes and a scowl, a mean one, that's for sure. I know they don't like me at all, but can't they at least stop staring at me like that? It's hurtful!

But that's not all that happened to me, oh no, the day after the misunderstanding (as I like to call it), the principal kicked me out of the school! She said I was going to be a bad influence on all the kids there, and I needed to be expelled immediately. 

I had never done anything bad at school! I was even getting good grades and signed up for a book club! I wasn't only a member of the club but the president of it. None of that mattered now obviously. The entire school board (who were basically parents) thought I was going to teach their children "bad" things and wanted me removed. 

Did my parents defend me? Of course not. Unlike many other parents in this entire world, they nodded their heads in agreement, thanked the staff members, grabbed the documents, and pushed me out of the school building. When I tried to explain that I wasn't at all, both would start crying about how their precious son lost his life because of me. Then I would just stop blabbing. I was going to spend my life in juvenile anyway. Something I never did. But who cares now? The entire world didn't like me, so this was their sweet revenge. 

Maybe I would even be sent to boarding school. That would make everyone in the community so happy because they didn't have to see my face, and my parents would also be happy, thinking I would learn a lesson which is: never commit a crime and lie about it to the world. 

I can imagine everyone in that boarding school also isolating me... because of some misunderstanding. I bet no one would ever want to be friends with me there also. I don't think anyone would ever want to be friends with me after this big lie. Maybe the teachers also might not like me because of my past mistakes-ish. 

Honestly, I don't think I will ever have a place for myself anymore. I feel so alone, so lost. So confused about this rough, harsh world. I wish someone would ever understand I'm not guilty, someone else. 

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Why did I have to be the one blamed? Why couldn't someone else in this world be blamed? How could everyone accuse me, without it being my fault? Without any proof, any evidence? How could they? Why doesn't anyone trust me in this dark, terrible, horrible, frustrating world? I HATE everyone. 

Now I am even starting to hate my own brother. He is the reason my name became a threat to everyone. He is the one who embarrassed me, who made me get in trouble, who made it my fault. It's all his fault, but I got the blame for it. No matter what I do, what I say, they all shout at me and leave me. It's not fun at all to be known as a criminal. I am not that old, but I feel like all my life has been leading up to these unfortunate events. 

I am such a bad son, so bad that I made my own parents fall into depression. I don't know why. I don't know how any of this ever happened. I am so clueless. Why would he leave me? Why would he let me take the blame? Why did he have to do this? How could he? 

He had committed suicide but he didn’t know that, down here on earth, everyone was accusing me of murder. Sure, we had some fights, some disagreements, but we always got along together. We were even supposed to go to the arcade together to play some video games. The new one had just been released that day. We had planned to go there for about two to three months! Instead, without any reason, any warning, any notice, he betrayed me. He betrayed the entire family. But everyone thinks he is innocent, and I'm the bad guy. How can I persuade everyone to think that it's not me. How can I convince people that it wasn't my fault he did all of this? 

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My mind was filled with thoughts, racing, and vrooming fast. My head was spinning, and I got a headache after sitting outside, all by myself for a little while. Sometimes I wonder about how much a person's life can change in a day. One day you're just an average boy, the next day you're a criminal, a serial killer. 

I whispered to myself, "Wow, my life sure has changed a lot. Sulking and feeling sullen all the time wasn't part of my daily routine. Or was getting shunned by outsiders, strangers, and well... my own parents. My life really has changed, thanks to my brother."

I decided that it was time to get up from that tree log I just found, and walk back home, where I was expected to hear a few more presents from mom and dad before I go to sleep, thinking about how my life has to be the worst one. 

While I was walking, I think a little bit more deeply. In retrospect, it sounds ironic and funny. When I was little, I always wanted to be famous, to be known for something. My whole twelve years, I tried to make everyone know me for something, I wanted everyone to recognize me. 

I guess my wish came true. I am famous, and when everyone hears my name, they will surely think of me as a criminal. Now I might even be awarded for the title The only twelve-year-old in this world to have killed his own brother, yet admits it's a lie and that it's not him. Ok, maybe that title is a bit long, but they can make it work. 

For some reason, I decided to check the mailbox. I wanted to see what all things were inside. Maybe it was some advertisements from stores, or maybe it was just random bills and receipts laying around. Anyway, I checked, and to my surprise, I found a newspaper where it had a photo of me. They also had a bolded headline and a caption. It read: Did the boy commit a crime, or not?. The text read: A twelve-year-old boy named Lee Burns from Tampa, Florida has committed a serious crime. On that day, the boy pushed his own brother into a lake. His friends say that Lee knows how to swim, and his brother doesn't. Everyone thinks the boy did it on purpose, knowing that his brother couldn't swim, and took advantage of it. Lee did this cleverly because there were no witnesses. The boy had drowned, and the next day many people found him lying dead. His parents were shocked and in despair. Intriguingly, Lee has not yet admitted that he was the one who pushed him into the lake. But everyone in the community knows that Lee has a behavior of lying..." 

That's it. I couldn't read it anymore.  

Hot tears streaming down my face. I was mad. Raging with anger. 

I clenched the newspaper and crumbled it. I tore it apart, piece by piece. I stomped on it and finally threw it away. I guess it was official, Lee Burns is guilty of something he did not do, and now I can't prove it correct. My life is going to be over, though I know it's not me.

~The End~