Death held her close, then let her go.

The dark skin tag below Dineo’s bottom lip never bothered her, but it troubled the little girl who was playing with it. She kept wiggling the raised mole and she pulled a face whenever it moved under her plump fingers.

“Doesn’t it hurt,” asked the young girl.

“Only when someone plays with it,” Dineo replied. The girl stopped and a sheepish grin took over her rounded face. Her lengthy dreadlocks fell foward as she shamefully lowered her head. “I’m kidding, would you relax?”

“I…I just don’t like to see you in pain.”

“Well I am in a hospital bed so this is about as painful as it gets.” Dineo hauled her body up to sit comfortably on the high pillows. Although she didn’t weigh as much as she used to, the process of moving her small frame still left her out of breath. “You came as a child this time,” Dineo asked as she managed a small cheeky smile. It made the little girl smile back.

“I wanted to remind you of the first time we met,” said the little girl as she giggled.

“Oh god, you mean the baptism that almost turned into me drowning?” They both laughed at the same time as if they were given a cue. The memory seemed less menacing in a moment when Dineo was skidding dangerously between life and death. 

“We laugh now, but I was scared shitless -” Dineo paused not wanting to curse in front of the little girl but quickly remembered that this was just another form she had taken. More than that, there was nothing remotely human about the little girl. Dineo sank into the bed and remembered the first time she met Death face to face. 

In Death’s first form, a 13-year-old Dineo met a little boy who was also about the same age. They met a week after Dineo decided that she wanted to get baptised. Dineo’s announcement was followed by affirming praises from family and friends who were proud of her for choosing Jesus in her youth. Her baptism took place in a river not far from the church. The night before the holy ritual, a thunderstorm tore across the night sky with a fury that left Dineo’s parents uncomfortable about the baptism. But after countless WhatsApp exchanges in the church group (Dineo wasn’t the only one who would be baptised), the pastor insisted on continuing the Lord’s work. He proclaimed that only the devil operates using fear and that if anyone was fearful, it was all coming from Satan himself. The baptism the next day would prove that the congregation's fears were valid. The current that took Dineo as the pastor submerged her head beneath the raging river knocked the wind out of her. She struggled to find her way to the surface and even when she did, she was swept back down again. As she fought harder she began to grow weaker and more tired. Before she gave into the darkness she managed to open her eyes for the last time. Dineo saw a young boy in front of her. One she didn’t recognise him as one of the patrons of their church but he had a face that looked familiar. He opened his mouth to speak but before she could hear anything, her entire body lunged towards the surface - like a body being abducted by a UFO. The next thing Dineo was being slapped and shaken by the congregation who managed to resuscitate her. That wouldn’t be the last time Dineo would meet Death but it was the first time Death would break its own laws. Instead of leaving immediately, since a passing had not occurred, the little boy hung around making sure Dineo was ok. Dineo was a little perturbed about Death taking a liking to her but she was grateful nonetheless.  

“Do you remember the time I came to you as an elderly lady,” asked the little girl. Dineo laughed so hard that it seemed to drain the energy she needed to stay alive.

“You were so obviously out of place. An elderly woman on a popular street with even more popular bars and restaurants?” Dineo signalled to the little girl to give her a drink of water. The girl sprung up from her chair and did just that. “Wasn’t I meant to go home with Joseph that night?”

“Yup,” sighed the little girl. 

“But I didn’t because you showed up. Meaning that I was meant to die that night. Are you going to tell me how I was supposed to die?”

“Ah, you don’t want to know that. The truth doesn’t always serve what’s best for the heart.”

“There you go with your little sayings again.” Dineo breathed slowly as more life escaped her breath than anticipated. “Do you know how crazy it is to have walked with Death my whole life?”

“Wasn’t that your mother’s favourite thing to say?”

“Yeah, when I wasn’t appreciating life enough she would tell me to live it to the fullest because death could be around the corner. But how could I appreciate life when it was always trying to end me?”

“It brought me to you,” the little girl said. There was a look on her face that Dineo couldn’t quite interpret. A look she hadn’t seen on Death’s many faces before. 

“Don’t take me before my time,” Dineo joked.

“There’s no such thing,” said the little girl while wagging a plump finger at Dineo

“Are you here to take me away this time? For real, I mean.” The little girl stopped playing with the machine's chords which she had twirled around her stodgy fingers. She edged closer to the bed. 

“‘I’m not sure if I can,” said the little girl. 

“Why not?”

“I don’t know if I’m ready to let you go. Once you cross over I will never see you again.”

“Awww, but you are Death. Everything about your existence is about letting go.”

“I know that,” the little girl said while rolling her eyes at Dineo. “It’s just that…we’ve become friends. Right?” Dineo nodded at the girl even though she knew how strange their friendship was. “You deserved a better life. I’m sorry that I filled up most of it with my gloomy presence.”

“There’s nothing gloomy about you, my friend. I’ve had a great life despite all the times I have come face-to-face with you.” The little girl laughed as she grabbed Dineo’s hand and placed it in hers.

“That night, with Joseph…” Dineo stopped herself again. The little girl released her grip slowly and walked to the other side of the bed. “Please tell me how I would have died.”

“Why are you obsessed with that night? Just let it go already.” The girl used a harsher tone this time. 

“Because something about that night felt dark. The entire day had an unusual chill to it.” Dineo described it as though she were back there again. 

“Well, death seems to affect humans that way. All dark and gloomy and shit.” The little girl said it with attitude, but Dineo could tell she was hurt. Hurt that Dineo would think of her as something dark. Something sinister. Something evil. 

“C’mon, don’t get upset now. I don’t mean it like that.  I have faced you many times. But you have to admit that night was different?”

“It was different but I don’t think I can tell you why.” It’s -”

“It’s what,” ‘Dineo interrupted, “It’s crazy? Do you know how crazy I think I am to be friends with Death? Am I the only one who sees you? Am I crazy? For fuck’s sake.” Dineo didn’t hold back on the profanities this time. 

“You’re not crazy Dineo. Truth is, I do show up to other people. Blatantly so. I make my presence known to the ones that need to see me. But because I take on a human form, it’s easy to miss me.” The little girl stared intently at Dineo.

“You know how I always knew it was you? It wasn’t the form you took, but rather the weird shit that would happen around you. 

“Weird,” asked the little girl.

“Yes, it was like that moment in a dream when you realise you’re dreaming? Everything would look normal but all of a sudden, just one thing is out of place. 

“That’s how it was with me? For you?”

“Yeah, and it wasn’t always obvious. But if I looked hard enough, the evidence was always there.” Dineo lay back on her pillow and closed her eyes. “Tell me about that night.” The little girl kept quiet for a moment and for the first time, a strange uncertainty wedged itself between the two friends. 

“I’ll do you one better. I’ll show you.” So the girl took Dineo’s hands as she stood at her bedside. Dineo fell asleep shortly after. Her subconscious knocked itself into the past and she saw herself and Joseph having dinner in the early hours of the evening. She was looking from across the street as they kept collapsing into one another as they laughed. In an instant, Dineo began to read the awkwardness in her own eyes as they stared at him. Joseph retaliated by ordering another round of tequila in an attempt to soothe her. It worked. Before long the mood was lifted again and he did everything in his power to keep things that way. The dream played out exactly as the memory it was feeding off. They left the restaurant and went to a club right after. All of a sudden the dream blurred and now they were arguing outside the club, which was still on track. It is at this moment that Dineo sees the elderly woman. Dineo would have never paid attention to her but found it odd that the leaves in the tree behind the senior citizen were rustling - even though there was no presence of the wind. It was then she decided to tell Joseph that maybe they should just call it a night. He was not fond of that idea. The argument reached boiling point with the addition of this decision from Dineo. Unlike her waking life, this time, she didn’t call an Uber. This time she got into the driver’s seat and left with him. This part was new. 

“I should drive because I had fewer shots than you, Jo.”

“Whatever, let's just go back to mines.” In the waking world, she had cried all the way home in the Uber while he hurled mean insults on Whatsapp. But she was adamant that she had to go home. She wasn’t about to die in the streets filled with a cadaver filled with liquor. That would be an embarrassment for her family. As Dineo continued to sleep and dream, the arguing continued. Joseph kept reaching out his arm to the steering wheel as Dineo tried to slap the hand away. Dineo couldn’t hear what the enraged couple was saying but she could interpret from their actions that they had reached the point of no return. In a sharp instant, Joseph grabbed the wheel and pulled it towards him. In fear, Dineo pulled the steering wheel the other way into oncoming traffic. A loud crash consumed the dream as glass flew everywhere and bent metal scraped on the tar road. Dineo woke up without moving a muscle and stared blankly at the hospital ceiling

“It wasn’t me that was supposed to die that night,” she said matter of factly. 

“No,” the girl replied.

“It was him. I would have killed him…I -”

“It didn’t happen, forget about it Dineo, please.” But Dineo’s heart was already broken. She sobbed alone in the bed, feeling only the warmth of her tears as they burned her cheek. She wasn’t just crying about what could have happened, but also what did. She cried for Joseph ghosting her - which she interpreted as a break-up. She cried for Joseph meeting someone new even though Dineo never got over him fully. The love she had for him flooded the room and it still left her breathless. The little girl couldn’t bear to watch her friend in any more pain. She took her into her childish arms and embraced her. Death held Dineo close and gave her one final gift. Then, they both let go.