8 comments

Inspirational Sad Suspense

It was a cold and rainy night and I looked outside the window of my treehouse. The forecast earlier today had not called for rain at midnight, but here the rain came pouring down like a waterfall. My treehouse was not yet finished, and there was a crack in the ceiling that let the water from the storm come through. drip, drip, drip, the sound became repetition and the water formed a puddle on the floor.

though the nights' disconsolation was quite dreary, I myself was feeling rather swell. The treehouse wasn't big, with half the room a cot with my sheets and stuffed animals on it and a small little white rug next to it. The other side had a shelf nailed to the wall that held snacks like chips and almonds and leftovers from last week's cookie cake, and to the right of that shelf was a cozy nook with a couple books strung about and a bean bag chair my dad got me for my birthday.

I was sitting in my little bean bag chair and munching on some potato chips at that moment in that dreary night, as a midnight snack. I couldn't get to sleep on that tiny, hard cot, and I must admit I don't know why I have it in there. I went to sleep finally, but not on the cot, in the bean bag chair.

I am in sixth grade, am I too young to petsit? I have a dog and a cat that eats my cookie cake every time I get it and I take care of those... I was just curious because Mrs. Nortan, our old old old neighbor, (93 to be exact,) has cats. Not two cats, not 5 cats, 15 CATS! How much meowing does one lady need?

Anyway, she was going on vacation with her daughter Holly, who is 64, to the beach. she asked me to take care of allllll those cats. She told me to feed them kitty crumble every day, (what a cheesy name,) and play with Joe, Lily, and Larry II the kittens for a whole HOUR.

that's a lotta cat and a lotta time, but I couldn't refuse the offer because she's a sweet old lady and she's going to pay me BIG money. I'm talking twenty dollars a day for 5 days! 100 bucks would be nice. So I took care of the cats and fed them kitty crumble, but on the third day, (or rather 60 dollar day,) something terrible happened that changed my life and struck me like a bullet.

I suddenly heard the phone ring from in the kitchen. I expected it to be Mrs. Nortan telling me one more thing about her senior cat bill but instead, it was 911.

I immediately answered and my pulse rose. "Hello?" A voice said. "Yes, I am here, what's the problem?" I answered with a voice dripping with fear. "This is 911, and we need to tell you your mom got in a car accident today. She was hit from the side and her car flipped. She is in the hospital now but is not doing well. She says to tell you she loves you dearly and knows her time has come. If you don't hurry, she might be right."

I threw down the phone and didn't answer. I sprinted for my bike and rode as fast as I possibly could towards the hospital. The ride was only 5 minutes, but it felt like 5 hours to get there. I saw an ambulance come in and swerve around me. I felt my heart beating out of my chest. I only thought about one thing, and it was mom.

I ran up the stairs that were in the hospital and burst into the room mom was in. When I saw her in the hospital bed with cords and tubes and bags all around her and in her, I started to cry.

Usually, I care what other people think, but now that was nothing. I could tell mom was in terrible pain, and she was right. She would not live much longer.

"MOM!" I kneeled by her side and gently shook her hand. "Sweety, I am coming to an end. We all have to at some point and mine came early. You are such a great kid, and you will help your siblings so much! I know it's hard that both of us are dead, but nana will take such good care of you." She gasped and closed her eyes and said: "I love you."

I cried so hard and I couldn't bear to come to the funeral. I collected all the things we made, did, experienced, and placed them in a special box I will always keep safe up on the shelf in my treehouse. I learned to learn from tragedy and wrote a poem to cheer me up when I am in those sad times:

Mom was and is amazing,

more than kings or queens,

she always had a smile,

and never called one mean,

she loved me and my family,

more than anything,

she knew how to have fun,

and she could really sing,

she always had a plan,

she always knew what to do,

she say when someone was mean to me,

don't let them affect you,

I love you mom so much,

you always know what to do,

mom I love so much these days,

but most of all I love you.

The day My mom died was tragic, and something I will always honor and remember. I saw her and loved her so many many many times. I regret not staying with her my whole life, constantly loving her and being by her side. Because of mom and dad dying, It has taught me to see the little things and appreciate everything. I learned so much in the midst of what happened. though I already saw mom as a mom, I saw her now as beautiful.



August 07, 2021 18:58

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8 comments

Tommie Michele
22:42 Nov 27, 2021

Great story! I read your bio--10 years old! Keep writing, friend--your dream of becoming a writer is certainly achievable. As a young writer myself, I love connecting with and encouraging other young writers. Writing is something that can be learned, but storytelling is something that has to come naturally, and you have the knack for it. I love your poetry, too--poetry is something I've never been able to do. I would love to know where your inspiration for this story came from--as someone who often writes fiction that borders on the sad si...

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Chicken Writer
14:33 Aug 10, 2022

Thank you so much!!! Its been quite some time since this comment, (I am 11 now) but I am happy that you posted it anyhow. I have only been improving in my writing since then, and the only electives in school that I pick are writing! Thanks again for the kind comment and good luck with your stories!

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Kendall Defoe
16:54 Aug 10, 2022

I have the feeling you are going to be some serious competition for all of us one day. And your story was quite moving (I was ten when my father died- two days before Christmas- and it can eat you alive). Keep writing, CW! The world needs you...

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Chicken Writer
17:13 Aug 10, 2022

Wow! Thank you so much. this comment is really encouraging!!!!! Sometimes when you are young it is hard to express yourself through writing, but comments like these help me learn more and do more! Thank you!

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Kendall Defoe
20:54 Aug 10, 2022

Cool...And don't forget: Keep writing!

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Yves. ♙
07:07 Aug 07, 2022

Welcome to the writing world! It's been a bit since you posted this, and I hope you've had fun & success with your work since. Even aside from the creativity of your interpretation here, the description right at the beginning instantly shows a lot of promise for a beautiful writing voice-- much excitement & thanks at a new writing voice in the community!

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Chicken Writer
14:31 Aug 10, 2022

thanks so much! It has been a while, that's for sure. I even forgot about this site and I'm excited to be back! Anyway, I never thought anyone would read my stories but someone did, and thank you! Any suggestions on story Ideas in the future?

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Yves. ♙
04:17 Aug 11, 2022

Hm.... Take a story you're writing, and swap the genders. Change nothing else. That's my idea!

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