I was never like the other girls my age. They always wanted to have the best dresses, with the most elegant skirts. They wanter the dresses of velvet, silk, the ones with gold and silver embroidery, and the elaborate lace. They always wanted to be dressed to the latest fashion, and have their hair built up in ribbons, or down in braids. Whatever really was the latest hair style of the year. But I wasn't like them. I loathed wearing my corset, with the bone ribs that seems to dig into my ribs and chest. I hated itchy lace that scratched at my neck and wrist. I was not a fan of the white gloves that always seemed to get dirty. And I hated how tight my hair was pulled when it was styled by my dresser. Don't get me wrong I liked my clothes and pretty things, but I wasn't like the other girls that just wanted to talk about it all the time.
I also wasn't like the other girls in the way that they loved to talk over boys, and swoon over them. I didn't like boys. I liked men. And hardly any of the eligible bachelors were men. They where child faced youths that liked to be immature and loud. Sure I could have married up and gone for a man rather older than me, but I wasn't fond of the idea of marring a man that may die several years before me and leave me a widow. I wanted a man my age, but one that was mature enough for my taste. But being of the ripe age of sixteen that made the choices rather minimal.
So you see my dilemma.
But then I met him...
He was a mystery that just appeared one day. And to make him even more of a mystery he appeared in the woods. That was the only place I even saw him. And he would never tell me why. But oddly enough I was ok with that. I was rather happy to have him be my little secret alone.
When I first met him I was deep in the woods that backed up against my family's manor. It was dusk out, and chilly. I liked to sneak out there when my parents and older brother would go to sleep.
I was wearing a light weight mint green silk dress. It was a simple dress, and vert thin martial that did hardly anything to conceal the chill of the night. The cool air already nipped at my already goosefleshed skin. But I didn't mind. It helped keep me alert.
But not alert enough, because when I heard him it caused me to yelp and jump.
He looked startled by my reaction, but quickly regained composure.
He looked about my age with a youthful face, and soft brown eyes. His thick lashes darkened them slightly as he looked at me. His skin was smooth and pale like the moon, and it caused his stark black hair to stand out like ink on a page. His hair was tousled in an almost artful fashion. He stands tall in black slacks and white shirtsleeves. And his soft rose pink lips formed an O in surprise. But they quickly turned to a warm smile, "Sorry, I did not tend to frighten you." His voice was soft and proper.
I found myself at a loss of words, as I looked at him, and when I did start talking I struggled to form words. This was highly unlike me. "That...that's quite alright. I....I am just not use to...other being here."
Then I took a slow deep breath, and gathered my composure, "You see I am not use to others in the woods, for there is not another property line for miles after mine." Who are you?
He began to walk around me with an amused smile on his face, "If I have it right your manor's property line ends half a mile away from here. So I have just as much to walk here as you."
I raise my eyebrows now intrigued. I wasn't use to being challenged by boys my age. It was a nice change of pace. "That may be true...but that doesn't mean I have ever seen anyone else here before." I talk one small step closer to him, and ask again, "Who are you?"
He surprisingly takes one step closer to me, and I feel myself catch my breath. "If you believe these are your familiar grounds, then I am your guest. Shouldn't you introduce yourself to me first?"
I found myself smiling back, and lifted my chin ever so slightly. "The name is Miss Cambridge." And I held out my hand to him. I watched through lowered eyelids and he kissed the back of my hand, "And what may be your name?"
He still held my hand towards his lips and looked up at me with a slight smile, "I only get a last name?"
Raising my eyebrows furthered I responded, "I have only just meet a stranger in my woods. i hardly think it is proper to offer you my first name."
I saw the laugh in his eyes, as he gently let go of my hand and stood up straight with his hands behind his back. "Again with the 'my woods'." I tried to hid a smile, but he caught it and took a small step closer to me. I stepped back from the warmth of him. "I guess I will try and break this game. My name is..." He hesitated ever so slightly, "Jason Smith."
"Jason Smith...?" I questioned lightly, "That is such a simple name. Are you sure?" I was trying to catch his game.
He only smiled, and gave a small shrugged, "What can I say? My parents weren't the most creative. Now can I be graced with your first name Miss Cambridge?"
I felt my heart skip for a second at hearing my name from him, and decided I must know what it felt like to have him say the whole thing. So with a soft voice I almost whispered, "Janet Cambridge. It is nice to meet you Jason."
He smiled, "The honor is mine Janet." And he bowed...and I felt myself swoon for the first time.
Several months passed and secret visits in the woods with Jason continued. Sometimes at night, and sometimes during the day. The forest was slowly becoming my favorite place.
We shared our lives, our secrets, our fears. I knew everything there was about him, and he knew me.
He worked at his parents worded in politics and wanted him to follow their path, but he longed to travel the world and be a baker.
My father wanted to marry me off to the towns blacksmith who was very successful and worked for the royal family. But I longed to be a writer and travel the world as well.
We talked of running away together and making our dreams come true.
He was afraid his parents would trap him in what he was born into, and they would never let him follow his own path. It was partially why he came here. It was the only time he could get away from life.
I shared a similar fear...but as the days passed I realized my true fear was that my parents would discover my plan to run away from home. Possibly with Jason, the one boy...the one man that finally understood me.
One night he brought me some pastries he made, and told me his story of how our lives would be if we both fled our parents. The memory of the pasties and story was so sweet I wanted more.
So we kept the talk up, down to the very detail.
And then the night we planned to flee came...and my world forever changed.
We agreed to meet at midnight.
I was wearing my best traveling dress, and even managed to sneak one of our horses from the stable. I packed as lightly as possible, and waited for him...but he never showed.
Heartbroken I fell asleep in the woods.
In the morning I awoke to Jason standing before me in an elaborate royal blue suit. And he wore a sad expression.
Confused by his appearance I stood up, "Jason, my love, you came. I thought you changed your mind...we were suppose to leave last night, correct?"
I stepped up to kiss him, but he stepped back looking down. I felt my heart stop. His voice was low, and he couldn't look at me, "Jan- Miss Cambridge, that is correct. We were to leave last night...but we can't. That is but a dream."
I felt anger flare up suddenly as confusion over ran me. "Miss Cambridge?! Jason, darling, what are you saying? Of course we can!" I stepped closer, and he stepped back. Enraged I reached for his shoulder barely grabbing it. "What is the mean of this behavior? Don't you love me?"
He looked injured as he looked at me, and I saw the reflection of love and hurt in his eyes. "I can't cause this has all been a dream. This has all been a lie..." He took my chin in his hand, "I do love you, but it would never be allowed...and I realize that more now."
Even more confused by his statement I blinked moisture from my eyes, "What are you talking about? If you love me then we can leave our lives behind." I took a step closer and he let me. I gave him a weak smile, "What has been a lie?"
He just looked at me with deep desire in his eyes, and then blinked and spoke with his eyes closed. I felt his body tense under my hands, "Who I am. What I am. My name really isn't Jason Smith...I lied that first night. You were right it was too simple. But since you didn't recognize me from my face I wanted to keep it that way. I never thought my fake life would last so long...become so real. Become the very thing I wanted. I never thought I would fall for you. The one person I can never have." Then he opened his eyes and I saw darkness and sadness in his caramel eyes.
I let my hand fall off him and to my sides, and heard my voice echo as I spoke. "Who are you? And don't lie."
And how he answered left me more speechless than the first night I met him, "My name is Eric Stillworthy....Prince Eric Stillworthy." And from the sack he had at his side he pulled a small crown and placed in on his raven hair. He stood straight and stepped back. "And I am to marry of only those on noble blood."
My mind exploded. Prince Eric! I had kissed Prince Eric! I had met Prince Eric! I had fallen in love with Prince Eric! The unruly Prince that was famous for stories of breaking hearts, for making scenes at parties, and not knowing a thing about our country or ways. I stepped back flabbergasted, "No...no..no...you can not be."
He lowered his head, "But I am."
I stepped back further, "I can't be with you. I can't be with someone who cares so little for his own people."
Then he looked hurt, "What! That is all you have to say? What I told you of never wanting to follow my parents footsteps was true. I never wanted to be prince. I never wanted to be king. I truly wanted to be a baker...but I was born into a role. A role I can not run away from. I tried to play the role, but I was no good at it. It wasn't until I met you that I felt like myself."
I turned feeling my eyes water, "Stop! Stop saying that! You know I can not change who you are. You know you must feel your role. I can not be the one responsible for our kingdom having no ruler."
His voice was soft, "I know, and I would never ask that of you. But I had to explain myself to you. So you would know why I had to leave...why I have to leave you."
Then I turned to face him. And spoke my last words to him before I walked away forever. "Then why did you ever talk to me that night? Why did you keep coming back? Why did you fall in love with me? Why did you? Because you were use to getting everything in life, and you had to just get one more thing before you had to follow your role? No matter who it hurt. Like the selfish Prince you are."
And I got on my horse and rode her back to the manor.
And I barely heard him call after me, "Janet, please! Let me explain! I will fix this...I will find a way to marry and have you as my queen!"
But all I heard was another boy trying to get what he wanted.
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