The Adventures of Snodfarge Grundweiler and You.

The Adventures of Snodfarge Grundweiler III and You.

I created this when teaching 3rd grade in New York.

 Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night? I have.

Why I woke up in the middle of last night, I

 have no idea, but I did. I stumbled with a

 tired yawn and looked out of my bedroom window. In the distance, I saw a tiny little light moving slowly from left to right across the sky. At first, I

 thought I was looking at an airplane, but then it did something extraordinary. When the object reached the horizon, it turned and flew back across the sky again, this time passing nearer to my house. It continued to fly back and forth, back and forth across the sky, coming closer and closer until it reached my front garden.

 No airplane ever looked remotely like this.

 The vehicle had an oblong shape and the

 outside was covered with lights flashing

 purple, red, green, and yellow. As the vehicle revolved

 it emitted a horrible high- pitched screeching

 noise like chalk on a blackboard.

 YEEEEEEch!!! Suddenly it landed with a

 thwack.

A door on the side of the spaceship

 (at least I think I was looking at a

 spaceship) opened slowly, making a creaking

 sound as though needing some oil or grease

 on the hinges.

 What happened next made me shiver with

 Fear. An alien emerged that looked like, well, it looked like nothing I’d had ever seen before. One enormous, square purple eye stared out from the middle of the being’s forehead. It had three ears. One ear stuck out of each side of the head, with a third ear dangling off the bottom of its chin. In the middle of

 its face was a funny-looking triangular nose.

 Just underneath the nose was an extensive

 thin mouth with one white tooth sticking up

 from the bottom lip.

 Instead of hair pink colored, wormlike creatures wave slowly back

 and forth. The spaceman (at least I think he was

 a spaceman as he arrived in a spaceship)

 was wearing a suit made of a very shiny

 bright yellow material that covered his body,

 except for below his elbows and knees. The

 rest of the being’s arms and legs were

 extremely hairy and looked like they

 belonged to a lowland mountain gorilla. A

 thick, gluey looking substance protruded at the

 tips of its eight fingers and toes, which were

 almost twelve inches long.

 There’s no point in denying the situation. I

 was scared; in fact, I was terrified. What was this strange thing? Could we communicate? Could it speak English? I mean,

 what if it looked up at me, started waving its arms around, and talked to me in a weird language?  Could you imagine if it began to

 speak and said something crazy like

 “Shtooyotbemitzagvaniot” or “hoozitgaunhen.”

 Or, what if it looked up at me and started

 rubbing its tummy, saying

 “Umm, breakfast.” I mean, I didn’t want it to eat me for breakfast.

 The very next thing it did was shuffle up to the wall of my house. Then thukadum, one of its hands stuck on the wall. Next, thukadum,

 the other hand, stuck on the wall.

 Thukadum, thukadum, the alien’s feet stuck

 against the wall. There was a tearing sound

 as hands and feet slowly pulled off the wall

 then re-stuck further upcoming closer to my window.

 I stared in open-mouthed disbelief as

 the big square purple eye stared into mine, and it

 gently tapped my window with the eight

 fingers of its left hand.

 I opened the window a tiny bit and

 whispered in a very shaky voice

 “Y-Yes, can I help you?”

 To my astonishment, it answered me back in

 English saying

 “No, but I can help you.”

 “How,” I asked.

 Then the alien replied, 

“My name is Snodfarge

 Grundweiler the third and I come from the planet

 Prrrr”. 

“You come from the planet WHERE?” I

 replied. 

“I come from the planet Prrrr.”

 “Excuse me, but I’ve never heard of the

 planet Frrrr before.”

 “No wonder,” the alien

 Replied,

 “There's no such place as the planet

 Frrrr. No! I come from the planet Prrrr."

 "Aha," I replied, although I was utterly mystified. 

"Where exactly is the planet Frrrr, I

 mean Prrrr", I asked.

 "Oh," he answered, 

"The planet Prrrr is in another galaxy far away

 from this galaxy."

 "Well, Snodfarge, you don't mind if I call you

 Snodfarge, do you?" 

"Not at all;" 

"Well then, Snodfarge, how can I help you?" 

"Oh no," Snodfarge replied, 

"You have it all wrong, you see. I'm here to help you."

 "How?" I asked.

 "Today is your lucky day. You see, I traveled here in my magic spaceship. Now, if you follow

 my instructions exactly, you will be able to

 travel in my spaceship and visit

 the country you want on the whole of this planet.

 By the way, which planet is this?" 

"This," I answered the creature,

"Is the planet earth." 

"Earth, ah, yes, I've heard of you, of course. A third-level

 planet. Still, never mind, I'm sure you will develop with time. Now, which country do you

 want to visit?" 

"Wow! Do you mean it? Can I fly back to Scotland and visit my twin sister Ingrid?" 

"Yes, of course."

" Can I also fly to Israel and visit my older sister Niki?" 

"Yup, you can also visit all your cousins, nieces and nephews, and other friends."

 "Fantastic, I'm so excited. Hey, hang on a second,

you said I had to follow your directions exactly. Just what are they?

 Nothing bizarre or dangerous, I hope. You see

 I'm not the bravest of human beings, and I'm

 rather scared of heights and things like that."

 "No, no, NO! First, all you need to do is get dressed, of course. Then don't forget to wash your hands and face, brush your tooth, oops! Sorry,

 I forgot humans have more than one tooth.

 Brush your teeth. Comb your hair. Now, most

 important of all, you must put on the special

 sticky end gloves and shoe coverings in order

 to help you climb down the wall."

 After washing my hands and face,

 combing my hair, and brushing my teeth.  Thwap, I managed to pull the gloves over my hand and thumb. There followed four more thwaps as I pulled on each finger. I

 did the same with my other hand and both feet. Next came the scary bit.

 I began to climb out of the window. 

"HELP" I cried,

 "I'm going to fall." 

"No, you won't," replied Snodfarge. 

"Your gloves will keep your hands stuck to the wall."

Slowly I leaned out the window when thukadup, my right hand, stuck to the wall. Then again,

 thukadup, my left hand attached to the wall.

 "Wow! This is great fun, I yelled," as I climbed all over the wall. Snodfarge whistled and told

 me to climb down off the wall and follow him

 onto the spacecraft.

 I walked up the ramp into the space vehicle and heard the creaking sound of the door as it closed behind me. My mouth dropped open in complete surprise as I looked around the inside of the spaceship. I had never seen anything like this in my life. The

 walls seemed made of chocolate with

 the most delicious-looking candies sticking out.

 Snodfarge then asked me which country I

 I want to visit first. 

"Oh," I replied,

"I think I want to go to Scotland."

 "That's fine, but before we go, there is something you need to Know."

 "What?" 

"Well, to visit your

 family and friends, you must also find out a

 number of facts about Scotland so when we

 return you will be able to tell your class and

 teacher what you have learned about the

 country after your visit there."

"What do I need to find out?"

 "Well?" asked Snodfarge,

 "What would you like to find out?"

"Oh, I think I would like to find out what school is like there. Also, how big is the country? What is the name of the capital city? What kind of sports do they play? Oh, yes, of course. What types of candy do the kids enjoy? You know,

 come to think of it, there are lots and lots of

 things I could find out about Scotland."

 Snodfarge then came up with a suggestion.

 "Michael, (that's my name) before we go, I

 I think the best thing you can do is create a list

 of all the things you would like to learn about

 Scotland. Then ask your family, teacher, and

 the children in your class what they want to

 learn about the country."

"That's tremendous. Can we leave now?"

"Sure," replied Snodfarge.

He pressed various buttons with peculiar shapes.

A strange and irritating high-pitched whine came out of where I think the engine might be.

Suddenly he cried out,

"Oh, No!" 

"What's happened, Snodfarge?"

"The Wuffle Timer is broken. Now I will have to send a message to the nearest 'Don't Nix It' spaceship.

"What's that?" I asked.

"It's the universal triple AAA.

Their motto is Don't nix it; we can fix it."

"Will it take them long to get here?" 

"Not at all. Sometimes they can come as quickly as 200 of your earth years."

"Wait! Did you say 200 years?"

"Yes! Why? Is that a problem?"

"Of course, it's a problem. Humans don't live that long."

"Oh!" replied Snodfarge,

"Wait a second. I just had a super idea."

"What’s that?” I asked.

“We can go to the library instead.”

“Why would we go to the library?”

“Because you’ll be able to do most of the

research at the library, and that will help answer most of your questions.”

“Do you know any other ways I could learn the information if you can’t get your spaceship fixed on time?”

“Yes, Michael, I do; you can write a letter to the embassy of the country you select. When I was in New York, I had a great idea. The kids in the class would compose a letter with their teacher and write to their chosen countries' embassies. About six weeks later, students will receive large envelopes from almost every country they had contacted. The information within may contain maps, photographs of famous places, plus other interesting factoids regarding their countries of choice.”

“But Snodfarge, what do I tell all the other kids in

 class AND my teacher about you?”

“That, my friend, is up to you. I mean, am I real, or is

 this all in your imagination?”

“You know Snodfarge; it doesn’t really

make a difference. What does matter is that I have lots of exciting research to do at both the library and the embassy. Wow! I wish tomorrow were here already. I can’t wait to get started with my exploration.”

“Well, Michael, before you go on your adventures to Scotland, I suggest you write down all the questions you can think of that you would like to find answers for?”

“That’s a fantastic idea. I can think of at least ten. Would you like to hear them?”

“Of course, I would, Snodfarge replied. What are they?”

1. What language do they speak?

2. What is the capital city called?

3. In which continent does the country lie?

 4. What kind of foods do people eat?

 5. What is the highest mountain?

 6. What is the longest river?

 7. What games do the children play?

 8. When do they go to school?

 9. What subjects do they learn there?

 10. What is the country’s most popular sport?

 “Wow, Snodfarge, once I have found the answers to all those questions, I think I will know a whole lot about Scotland.”

“Michael, I have taken

 thousands of kids all over the world in my space- ship.

Now I will tell you something unique. Once you have

 researched and retrieved the answers

 to all the questions from both yourself

 and the other children in your class and

 perhaps your teacher as well, you will be

 able to consider yourself a member of the Snodfarge geographical discovery family.